Hello everybody! My name’s Laura and this is my first attempt to fiction so, please don’t be scared! I’m from Italy so I can’t guarantee that my English will be appropriate. I hope you’ll comprehend.
I COULD NOT LOVE YOU MORE
She’s a very beautiful woman; red hair, long shapely legs and a radiant smile, a complete woman but she was oh, so sad. She could have had every man in Dallas even Jimmy Trivette found her so incredibly irresistible but unfortunately the only man she craved for, wasn’t interested in a serious relationship with her. Kate was sad. She was completely and madly in love with this rugged, but at the same time, gentle, handsome cowboy, the best ranger in Texas…she dreamt about him every damn night but when she woke up, she was alone in her big bed. This was frustrating even for a woman like her, a woman that was very secure of her sex appeal. She wanted him badly. She needed him more than words can describe. She worked at C.D.’s bar & grill as a waitress and she was friendly and open with every customers but especially one. Every evening she waited and waited until he made his appearance at CD’s and she couldn’t take her eyes off of him, he had her , body and soul. She noticed how he looked so damn sexy when he wore black tight fitting jeans and a lose shirt.
“Hey pard! I’m here!” - shouted ranger James Trivette. Walker strolled towards the booth where his young partner was, then he sat down.
“Hi Jimmy! C.D.!” She stared at him while he was chatting with his two best friends and then she walked towards him offering a hot cup of coffee. “Hi Cordell!” “hi Kate. Thanks I need it”- he said taking the cup of coffee. Jimmy and CD got up and went to talk with some other Rangers. She knew that they did this on purpose only to leave her and Walker alone for a few minutes. She appreciated their friendship. It was obvious to everyone that she was in love with Walker only this stubborn cowboy treated her like a friend, “one of the guys”. Between them there were only caste kisses during their few date but now she wanted and needed more, she wanted him.
“How was your day? How many bad guys have you catch? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” she said. “Hey! Slow down lady! No, I’m fine. As a matter of fact I’m really fine but I could use a hug right now.” She smiled hugging him, a little surprised by his declaration. He gave her a peck on the cheek. “Wow! Tonight maybe it’s the night!” thought Kate. After ending her schedule she picked up her purse then moved out of CD’s only to find that “her” cowboy was waiting for her. “Waiting for someone, handsome?- she joked.” “well, uhm…yes there’s a pretty girl that tonight gave me a warm hug and then there is another that…” she hit him in the ribs and they ended up laughing. “You know, I love when you’re in a good mood Walker!” there was silence between the two of them as they reached the grey Dodge Ram that Walker loved so much. He helped her in and then they drove away to her apartment.
Once in, the sexual tension between them was almost unbearable and at that moment she was pretty sure that they would end up making love all night long. Walker started to kiss her gently at first, she responded immediately to his seductive lips. Then the kisses grew in intensity and became more passionate and hot. She melted in his body which was muscular and well built after years and years of training and work out. He was handsome and sexy. “God! She’s beautiful” he though. When he felt her hand unbuttoning his shirt he broke the kiss and stopped her working hands. She started to protest but he silenced her placing a finger to her kissed swollen lips. “Shh…don’t say anything. I’m sorry… I…It’s not your fault…look I have to go”. He kissed her once more then left her standing in the middle of her bedroom door with a look of pure disbelief in her eyes. He wanted her, she could feel his desire pressed against her stomach but then, “Why, did he stop? Why he didn’t want make love to me?”
Walker practically ran to the ranch, the most beautiful place in the world to him, the only place where he feels really at home. He was sad, he acted like a fool back at Kate’s apartment, he was angry, humiliated… “Why I can’t go past her? She’s the one that left me alone. It’s true we hadn’t any commitment but…we could have… if only I…Stop torturing yourself Walker, she’s gone and now you have to face the fact that you’re alone, that you have a beautiful intelligent woman that cares about you….and what do you do? You leave her alone but …God, how I missed her.”
Walker was lost in his thoughts. He was remembering the first time they made love during that rafting trip, under the stars, near the impetuous river. He was completely lost in her beauty that night, he remembered every single touch, every single word spoken, her smile, her face, her long blond hair, her lips so gentle, so inviting, she was his only for that one night. They drifted to sleep lulled by the soothing sound of the river near them. They were happy, totally satisfied, content with the world.
But then things revolted against them and their relationship. “Which relationship?”- he thought. “The only thing that I’m sure I’ve done it’s destroying her faith in me pushing her away, convincing me that I didn’t need her when I was shot that damn day at the courthouse.” She was so scared that day and she was supportive with him and helped him through his recovery which was very difficult because the bullet he took, did a lot of damage especially in his backside. Yes, he was paralysed from the waist down but that was two years ago now and he was able to walk again. He was so mad at the time, he didn’t want anyone near him. Even White Eagle tried to shake him but for the first time in his life he failed. “Washo’s spirit doesn’t want to hear me. Now he’s alone.”- said White Eagle to the three most important persons in Walker’s life: Jimmy, C.D. and Alex Cahill.
After the rafting trip, Walker started to withdraw from her and they were every day more distant. But the day he was shot and the months that followed it, were the last stage of their story. He treated her like she doesn’t exist anymore thought she was the most caring woman in the world. She would have never left him if only he…this though brought tears to Walker’s eyes. He let her down badly. He made her suffer when that woman returned in his life like a cyclone. Marilee. He was in love with her a long time ago but then she left and he completely forgot about her. He had Alex in his life. She was his soul mate and he knew it but he never spoke the words to her. The night that they made love he was sure to tell her about his feelings but the moment never came.
When Marilee reappeared he was stunned and…and constricted in a wheelchair. She wanted him back and he capitulated like a fool. He accepted her help and opened his ranch to her.
That night Alex had worked till late like every day since he was shot. She wanted the person responsible for the shooting behind the bars as soon as possible. She worked hard day and night and she was tired and totally spent but this didn’t stopped her from taking care of Walker even if he didn’t want her help anymore. He left her standing on her own, he ran away from her love and this hurt like hell. There wasn’t a cure.
After leaving the courthouse she drove towards Walker ranch hoping to find him in a good mood. She had decided to tell him something that night, she had decided to tell him that she loved him. She missed him, she hadn’t seen him for a week and now she missed everything about him even his stubbornness. When she arrived at the ranch she was completely exhausted. She walked to the front door but she didn’t see any light on inside. “maybe he’s asleep!”- she thought smiling. She opened the door and entered inside. She saw a soft light coming from the fireplace so she went in the living room. At that moment her smile disappeared, her heart stopped beating. She was frozen in place. The sight in front of her killed her soul, killed her love for that man, killed her. Walker was lying to the floor in front of the fireplace bare chest. He was kissing that woman and was lost in that kiss. One hand in her hair pulling her down to his lips, the other one encircling her waist. She was there, in his arms. She started to undo her shirt and Walker helped her. They didn’t notice the intruder. Alex was lost, she didn’t feel anything, only pain. The love of her life was making love with another woman in front of her. She couldn’t stand it. She gasped and at that moment Walker turned his face to look at her. He froze. He realized in that moment that he had destroyed her life, the life of the woman he loved. He had destroyed her faith in him. He pushed Marilee away. She reluctantly pulled away from him and stood. She looked Alex directly in the eyes and said with a tone of pure satisfaction: “He’s mine Miss Cahill! Why don’t you leave us alone? We’re pretty busy right now but if you want you could return later, much later and…” “Stop! Leave her alone!” shouted Walker. “But Cord I was only…” “Alright, stop. Go away. Leave us alone and, Marilee?...I can't...It's over between us. you better go away and don't return!” “I’m sorry Cord I was only…” “GO AWAY!!!” Marilee left the ranch and drove away, stunned and totally broken hearted.
Alex remained still. She didn’t moved. She seemed lost. She was shocked and he knew that she had witnessed the entire scene in front of her. "Poor Alex", he thought.
Walker remained to the floor; he wanted, needed in that moment to get up and gathered her in his arms to secure her, to protect her but he couldn’t. He was paralysed but at that moment, looking into the eyes the woman he loved and seeing the hurt, the pain...suddenly, he regained the feeling in his legs and with a tremendous effort, he managed to stand.
Now she was really shocked. He reached for her arm and took her in his arms. She felt so good against him. Then he cried. “Alex, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry”. She doesn’t respond. “Alex…please honey talk to me. You’re scaring me.” She doesn’t respond. She was crying softly against his chest he could feel her tears run freely along his bare chest. He was totally broken hearted. He made her suffer. She didn’t deserve this. He hated himself for what he had done to this incredible woman. Then Alex realized that he was standing right in front of her and she managed to say “Walker you’re…you’re…ok…I’m happy for you” with these words she took a step back “I’m leaving, Walker. Don’t try to call me”. She turned towards the front door. “Alex! Wait, please. Wait! I can’t lose you now. Now It’s okay I can walk again see” He tried to take a step closer to her but he stumbled and nearly fell but Alex was there to support him, again. This woman loved him. “Alex, please don’t leave me. I need you. I…I …I love you Alex, I love you, do you understand me? I love you.” She adsorbed his words then guided him on the sofa. “Sit here with me, please I have to explain a lot of things to you Alex!” She bent down and brushed a soft kiss on his lips then she slapped him in the face saying “It’s over, Walker. Take care of yourself.” He was stunned by her actions: one minute she was kissing him and then she slapped him in the face. He deserved that. He was a fool. With this, she turned and stopped at the front door saying “Sorry, if I have interrupted you” she was no longer in shock. Now she was mad, angry with the world and with him. Now he was alone.
That was the last time he saw her.
Now, two years later, he found himself missing her badly in front of the fireplace where she had left him a long time ago. “I’m sorry Kate, I’m not ready to throw myself in a relationship yet. I still love her. I miss you Alex please let me know where you are, please.”
With this last prayer Walker finally fall asleep dreaming about her, about their love.
Neither Jimmy or C.D. were able to find her. She disappeared like a ghost. Walker was crushed. He couldn’t sleep, he had nightmares, he missed her, he was worried about her. When she left she wasn’t well, she was destroyed inside and he was the one responsible. Walker felt guilty.
Walker fell asleep on the couch. The next morning he went to Ranger Headquarters and worked diligently with Trivette all day. He was exhausted both, physically and spiritually. That evening he went to C.D.’S and sat in a booth completely lost in thoughts. Kate noticed immediately his bad mood and stayed away from him. Then it happened. The door swung open and she entered. She was beautiful. She wore simply a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and yet she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He didn’t noticed her he was lost in his problems, he was incredibly sad and empty. He knew that Kate had feelings for him but he realized that he wasn’t interested in her or in any woman at all.
She scanned the crowded room in search of her “target” then finally, she spotted him. She took a deep breath and then moved towards him. When he noticed that someone was standing in front of him demanding his attention, he raised his eyes and saw the most beautiful view in the world. Alex was standing in front of him in all her beauty. She was smiling and immediately tears flowed down his cheeks. He gathered her in his arms as he cried like a baby repeating her name. “Alex…Alex…Alex…Are you ok? God, how I missed you.” She started to say something but he interrupted her placing a finger on her luscious lips “Shhh…I…I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my life. You’re my life Alex. Please, forgive me.” Finally he was able to express his true feelings to her. She was indeed happy. “Walker…I forgive you…I’ve tried to forget you but…I love you Cordell Walker.” At that moment he felt like he was ready to burst. She loved him. Walker kissed her with passion and desire she felt his tongue inside her mouth tasting and exploring. He wanted all of her. He continued to kiss her vigorously and she responded opened her mouth to his thrusting tongue. They were lost in each other. The world around them ceased to exist. There were only the two lovers. Kate watched the man she loved kissing another woman and frozen in place. Who was that woman? He finally broke off the kiss saying: “Let’s go somewhere more private! I want to show you just how much I love you, honey.” Alex took his arm and together they walked to the exit kissing as they went. “Walker! Why?”- cried Kate. Walker suddenly stopped, he looked Alex in the eyes, she simply nodded. “I’m sorry Kate but this is the only woman for me. I’m sorry that didn’t work between us but I wasn’t ready to let her go and now she’s here and we’re back together like two years ago. It was all my fault and I should have told you about her a long time ago. I hope you find the love of your life. We weren't meant to be. I can’t live without her Kate, she’s the air that I breath. I’m sorry, so sorry.” Alex was stunned by his word. He really loved her.
That night they reaffirmed their love making love. He was gentle at first but then he was like a man possessed. He wanted her bad. He became rough, he wasn’t gentle anymore but she liked every minute of their lovemaking session. When their breaths returned to normal he rolled on his back placing her on top of him held her tightly against his bare chest. “Alex…I promise you that from now on I’ll be the man that you want” “Walker, you are the man that I want even with your stupid stubbornness!” “I love you Miss Cahill, I love you so much. Promise me that you’ll never leave me, that you’ll be my side forever…because I could die if you…” “No, Walker shh…I promise you that I will be with you forever and ever! Now let’s makeup some more!!!” “Whatever you want my lady!” they made love long into the night and they drifted to sleep, exhausted. The next morning Alex awoke early but Walker wasn't beside her. She found a note on his pillow written in his handwriting: "Alex, my love. You know that I'm not so good with words so with this song I want to tell you that I love you, i have always had, and always will love you.......................
I COULD NOT LOVE YOU MORE
Now that we’re alone
No more hide and seek
You are the highest dream to me
And as you softly sleep
Then I can tell you what it means
Locked in my arms like lovers lie
I will not let you slip away
Is this the summer of them all
Is this my night of nights
That you came to stay
Here you are owner of my heart
Just the way the love should be
And there is something I must say to you
If you promise to believe
That it’s you I’m living for
And, I could not love you more
Seasons may come and seasons go
But these are the truest words I know
Face to face, eye to eye
This is the summer of our lives
One love that cannot die
Here you are owner of my soul
Never let you say goodbye
And there is something I must say to you
We leave the world outside
And you have come to me at last, we start
Open up your heart
Let my deepest love inside
I’m only doing what I have to do
That’s you I’m living for
And I could not love you more.
Alex was crying when Walker entered in the bedroom wearing a black tuxedo and with a dozen of red roses in his hands. "Walker, I love you too darling!"
"I know, Miss Cahill! Now...Will you marry me?"
TO BE CONTINUED, maybe.
this incredible song was written by the Bee Gees. You can find it in the album STILL WATERS (1997).