"One for the Gander"
The argument between Walker and Alex was heating up bad, as their two friends watched from the bar.
"I'm telling you Big Dog, I'm not going on anymore stakeouts with
Walker until he and Alex stop their arguing," Jimmy exclaims as he turns around on his bar stool and stares back at the arguing couple. “I mean it, Big Dog!”
C.D. looks over at Walker and Alex shaking his head back and forth, "I know Jimmy. And what the heck are those two arguing about now? Is it still that Marilee thing? I thought Alex was over that!"
Jimmy lets out a sigh, gritting his teeth. "Alex is raking Walker over the coals for that one night, and if you ask me, that's not right C.D. She's totally wrong. They don't have a commitment to each other. She goes out with other guys, so why can't he date other women"?
C.D. starts to answer when he hears Alex's voice rise even higher. Then she gets up from the booth and stomps out, muttering what only anyone could imagine an irate woman would be saying. Walker slams a $20 down on the table, and then he too stomps out. The few customers that are in the bar soon began to exit.
Pouring himself a cup of coffee, C.D. walks around to the outside of the counter and sits down beside his friend mumbling, "They're ruining my business with all that dadburn arguing, that's what they're doing!”
"What business, Big Dog? There's no business in here to ruin."
"That's not the point Jimmy--what is going on between those two?"
"Like I was saying C.D. Alex is in the wrong. She's got no right
coming down on Walker this way. I thought that there was a mutual agreement between them because they want to keep their relationship "platonic.” You know, that they would still date, but see others?"
"Going out with someone and spending the night with someone are two entirely different things Jimmy. Cordell blew it when he spent the night with that woman!"
Jimmy stares back at his friend. “But, so what if he did? What about Alex and that Dalton Reed fellow that she still continues to see when he comes into town. You can't tell me that there's not anything going on between them...after all they used to be lovers." Jimmy stops for a second and then begins again, "And that's another thing---this relationship between Walker and Alex, what is going on there? They say they don't want to ruin their friendship by becoming intimate, but yet they blow fuses when the other is intimately involved with someone else. Want to explain that to me Big Dog?"
"I don't understand it either, Jimmy. That's between the two of them. We don't know what kind of agreements they made, so it's best we stay out of it!”
Jimmy pushes the half eaten salad off to the side. "You know what it is all about C.D., all this arguing and stuff. I got it all figured out. I know what the problem is---s-e-x-u-a-l f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-o-n. That's what it is."
C.D. thinks about it for a moment. "So, you think you got it all figured out? Huh, Romeo? Now how long did it take you to figure that out? You, the big “Romeo,” the ”expert” on women. Hell, Jimmy, you say you got all these women falling all over you, but I've yet to see this harem, Big Guy!”
I'm telling you--it's sexual frustration! Both Alex and Walker want to be with each other, but neither of them wants to make that first move in taking their relationship to another plateau, so they see others for that. WHICH DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE, and in the meantime they're both miserable. Now explain that if you can?”
"Jimmy I can't explain it. I just know that something has got to be done to keep the peace between those two or I'm afraid they're going to go their separate ways!"
"Well, you are right about one thing, something does have to be done and soon! I can't spend another night on stakeout with Walker. He’s like a grizzly, and besides that, he's plain not himself!"
"What do you mean?”
“C.D. The man is not 100% in his mind and in his job, and our job takes 110%. We’re constantly on the line. Our lives are in danger every day. You know that. I have to know that I can depend on my partner to watch my back at all times. Now don't get me wrong, I think of Walker as a brother and I love the big guy, but C.D., if he's not watching my back…?"
The big man jumps up off his stool like he was shot from a cannon. "What in the Samhill are you talking about? Are you saying that Cordell Walker would hang you out to dry; that he's not doing his job? Bite your tongue, Jimmy Trivette!"
Jimmy tries to calm down his friend by urging him to sit back down. "I'm sorry, Big Dog, but someone has to say it. If Walker doesn't get his act together and soon, I'm afraid one of us could end up getting hurt, or even worse… killed."
"Oh lord, oh my---Jimmy what do we do?"
"I'm open for suggestions".
C.D. climbs back up on the stool and reaches out to his younger friend and puts his hand on his shoulder, "I don't know what to say."
That’s a switch, thought Jimmy. Big Dog always had something to say whether you wanted to hear it or not.
"O.k. how about this. In the morning I'll drive out to Walker's ranch and demand that we have a man-to-man talk. You go to Alex's apartment and have a talk with her."
"Why do I have to be the one to talk to Alex? Why don't I talk to Cordell and YOU can talk to Alex?”
Jimmy puts up both hands--"No way! I've seen Alex's temper!" Then, very reluctantly, Jimmy adds, "and I think I'd rather face the big guy!"
"Chicken! That's what you are; a great big yellow-bellied chicken!" The big man starts flapping his arms up and down, mimicking a chicken's cackle.
"Whatever C.D. But remember, you’ve got to be stern with Alex. Don't let her roll those big blue eyes at you! You’ve got to be stern and let her know she's in the wrong. You’ve got to know how to handle a woman like Alex, trust me!”
“Oh sure, like YOU’d know what to say,” mutters C.D., under his breath.
The next morning finds a very nervous C.D. walking down the hallway of Alex's condo. He's been muttering to himself the whole time, "Stern"---C.D. reminds himself, "I have to be stern with Alex". He reaches her apartment door then quickly turns to walk away. “Oh me, oh my, what have I got myself into?” Stopping to bolster his courage, he returns to Alex’s door. He quickly reaches out to ring the doorbell. He rings it again, nothing. He breathes a sigh of relief and thinks to himself "Oh good, maybe she's already left to go to her office, I'll just catch up with her later," when suddenly he hears Alex's voice.
"Just a minute."
"Too late! Now what do I do?" mutters the big guy as he hears Alex undoing the lock.
Alex peeps through the peephole and seeing her dear friend, she opens the door. With a beaming smile she says, "C.D. what are you doing here?”
"We need to talk Alex," and before she can say anything he steps inside the door. Alex is wearing a beautiful peach negligee with a thin little robe pulled over it. Even with the robe, the negligee is rather revealing. Embarrassed, C.D. tries to look away. He can't help but notice she's in a rather good mood. At least she hasn't thrown him out yet.
Alex pulls the robe around her tighter, "What's this all about? Talk about what?" She glances back towards her bedroom.
"Now Alex, you know I don't like to butt in, but honey girl this arguing between you and Cordell, it's getting way out of hand."
Alex looks again towards her bedroom and in almost a whisper she says, "C.D., I think we can talk about this some other time." Then she gently tries to lead C.D. towards the door.
He pulls out of her grasp. "No, Alex." He can hear Jimmy's words racing through his mind about being stern with her. "No! We are going to talk and you're going to listen to what I have to say. Now, Alex, you're wrong about coming down on Cordell this way." He stops and looks at her.
Alex appears extremely nervous and she keeps looking towards her bedroom.
Just as C.D. starts to say something else, a man's muffled voice is heard coming from the bedroom bath. "Alex, where's the shampoo?”
C.D. looks toward her bedroom and then back to his blushing friend. He shakes his head sadly, "I see. Well, it's obvious that you have company so I'll just be on my way".
Alex reaches out for his arm. "C.D. wait! I can explain…"
He puts his hand up. "No, don't explain. You and your---friend, just go back to whatever you were doing…"
"C.D. What in the… What are you doing here?"
C.D.'s mouth drops open as he sees Walker coming down the hallway, wearing nothing but a towel, and using another to dry his hair.
"C… C… C…Cordell?" Stammers C.D. "I didn't know it was you. I didn't recognize the voice… Oh Lord, I’ve really put my foot in my mouth this time!” He looks to Alex, who is trying not to laugh and then back to Walker. The three of them spend a few moments standing there, kinda’ tryin’ not to stare at each other.
Finally, Walker says to Alex very quietly, "Alex, you're out of shampoo". She crosses over to him and gives him a loving kiss.
"I know. I'll show you where I keep the spare bottle and after you’re finished, the 3 of us are going to have breakfast.
"Alex, C.D. pipes up. I'm sorry for all of those things I said and for what I was just thinking right now. Will you ever forgive this old coot?"
She stands there silently, letting him "stew" for a minute, then she goes into his arms for a warm hug. "Yes, of course I forgive you, and will you please stay for breakfast?”
C.D. smiles back at her and says, "Only if you're serving crow! Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about all that arguin’ anymore!” Then he adds, "But, I'm still gonna’ KILL that Jimmy!"
ALL THE USUAL LEGAL DISCLAIMERS.
"One for the Gander, PT.2"
It's now the middle of the afternoon and Walker is sitting behind his
desk, sorting out paperwork that he's procrastinated for the past 2 wks. He
looks up to see his partner walk in. Walker stares at him, frowns, then goes
back to his paperwork
On seeing Walker at his desk, Trivette throws his hands up in the air
and exclaims "Here you are---- I've been looking all over the ranch for you,
what are you doing here?"
Again Walker frowns, "I work here!"
Trivette shakes his head in bewilderment, walks over to lean on
Walker's desk, and then says very slowly, "But you said you weren't
coming in today, that you had work to do at the ranch. I walk in, and
you're here, very calmly working on whatever you're doing there. Never mind
that I've been all over tarnation trying to find you. Never mind that I've
wasted my whole day looking for you. I even went over to your neighbors'
place to see if you were over there, or maybe you were taking a ride on
Amigo. I must know every mile of that ranch by heart now. I didn't realize
it was so big! I must have gone over the whole cotton pickin' thousand acres
looking for you, and you're here, GOING OVER PAPERWORK! but you wouldn't care about that, would you?"
"So I changed my mind Trivette--now I'm here."
"Do you realize that I have been out at your ranch since the break
of dawn looking for you? Walker looks at Trivette, the man looked like he
had been ridden hard and put away wet. "Take it easy Trivette--what's the
big deal--since when do I have to tell you where I'm going to be every hour
of the day?"
Trivette sighs, and throws his hat over on his desk, "Look Walker--we gotta’ talk".
Rising up from his chair and getting another cup of coffee,
Walker asks "What about"?
"About you and Alex---that's what." Walker grabs the paperwork and tucks it away in a folder, "I don't have time to talk, I'm busy. I've got to get this
paperwork cleared so I can be on the road"!
"Road? You going somewhere"?
"Yeah Trivette, if you must know I'm going somewhere"!
Trivette turns his head sideways, "Where you going?" "Fishing!"
"Fishing?" Trivette repeats almost in a whisper, "Want some
"Oh come on Walker, listen man we need to talk. We need to
get this out in the open, you can't keep this bottled up inside you- all
this arguing with Alex I mean. I'm here man, talk to me!"
"For the last time Trivette, I don't want to talk." Walker heads for the
door, leaving Trivette standing there with his mouth open.
He starts mimicking Walker's words aloud to himself, "I don't want to talk,
I don't want to talk!" He sits at his desk for a few seconds trying to
digest everything when C.D. walks in. The big man hesitates a little before
approaching Trivette's desk. Trivette looks at him and then starts nodding
his head up and down and says, "Uh-huh, I knew it, I absolutely knew it!
Yep, you backed down, didn't you big dog!"
"Wellllll… Jimmy" C.D. stutters---It was like this, I meant
to have that talk with Alex..."
Jimmy gets up from his desk, slapping his pant legs in
disgust and in a whining voice answers, "You just wasn't stern enough big
C.D. starts to say something, but Trivette puts his hand up
in defense. "Nope, don't say anything, you crumbled, you melted right away,
the second Alex started looking at you with those big, blue, puppy dog
eyes---you blew it big guy--admit it!"
The big guy starts shifting back and forth on his feet.
"I guess I did it Jimmy, you told me to be firm--to be stern, that's what
you said alright, and I was trying to do everything you said because you
supposedly know how to handle women---yep, I guess I just fell apart when I
was suppose to be strong---I'm just a foolish old man--I'm sorry Jimmy.".
Trivette looks at his friend in disgust, "I thought I could count on you to put Alex in her place and not be taken in by those big blue eyes big dog..."
"What about my blue eyes"? Trivette was rattling on so that he didn't even see Alex walk up behind him.
Trivette spins around "Alex!"
Alex looks seductively at Trivette and walks up to him real close. "Were you talking about me Jimmy? You were saying something about C.D. having to put me in my place and to be stern? what was that all about Jimmy?"
Trivette is practically leaning over his desk backwards as Alex moves in closer, she reaches for his tie and starts playing with it, her forefinger touching his chin in a teasing way. She's wearing those tight fitting jeans and that mid-waist sweater, her perfume is mind boggling, almost intoxicating.
"Nothing Alex, really, I wasn't saying anything like that, you just
misunderstood me." Trivette looks at C.D. and pleads, "Tell her big dog!"
C.D. tries hard not to laugh as Alex has Jimmy laying almost prone on top of his desk. C.D. cackles, "Oh--I best stay out of this Jimmy--you're the one that knows how to handle women--you told me so, remember"? Trivette is stuttering, trying to think of something to say when a voice booms "What's going on here"?
Trivette looks sideways towards the voice and practically knocks Alex to the floor as he tries to get out from under her "WALKER!
Nothing, nothing is going on!" Trivette stammers.
"Well it sure doesn't look like nothing."
After a moment of watching Jimmy sweat, Walker, Alex, and C.D. all break out laughing, Jimmy is left with egg on his face.
Alex walks over to Walker and puts her arm around his waist, in a playful embrace. Alex smiles and says to Walker, "Jimmy was just showing me the error of my ways--like someone else was trying to earlier this morning at breakfast." She nods at C.D.
"Guilty, guilty as charged Alex and I apologize—mainly for listening to this yahoo!" as the big guy slaps Trivette across the chest with his hat. Trivette looks puzzled as he tries to put it all together, then he suddenly realizes--he's been set up! He nervously tries to explain himself.
Walker and Alex stand there with their arms around each other, and finally he asks the blonde, "Should we let him off the hook?"
Alex smiles and nods, "Yes---I think he's put me in my place!" The three
Walker leans into Alex and whispers "You ready"?
She nods, "yes I'm packed and ready to go".
"We were just trying to help Walker, we didn't mean anything by ..."
"Look, if you two would stop worrying so much about mine and Alex's love
life and start worrying about yours, everyone would be a lot happier." Then Walker says in a softer tone, "but, on the other hand we appreciate what you were trying to do. That's what friends are for, right"?
The four of them embrace and then Walker and Alex head for the door, arms still around each other's waists.
Jimmy looks at them and then C.D. "What just happened here, they're back together, what was that all about"?
C.D. puts his arm around Trivette's shoulder and says,
"That, my boy…" pointing towards Walker, "Is being stern!" C.D. starts to
walk away then glances back at Jimmy who is standing there with his mouth
open in confusion and says "Close your mouth Jimmy--the crows are flying
One For The Gander, PT.3 By: SASQUAW@aol.com
Her voice is low, almost un-audible "Walker, it's too big"
"No, it's not it'll fit," he answers back grunting.
"I'm telling you honey, it's not going in."
"Try moving it to the side a little bit, go slow".
"O.k. here goes", she's starting to get impatient. "Nothing is
happening, should I try the other end?"
"Wait a minute, let me get my second wind." His voice is labored.
"O.K. try again!"
Alex grimaces, "Move it back again, I think I almost had it--no,
not that way--the other way"!
He's starting to get angry, "Try some of that lubrication oil,
maybe it'll go in then."
"O.K., where is it? I found it--now how much of this stuff do you want me
to put on it?"
"At this point, you can use all of it!"
Alex sighs. "One more time, alright, I've used it all, now what?"
"It's now or never," moans Walker "Are you ready?"
Cautiously she answers. "I'm ready."
"OUCH, oooh, that hurt!" she calls out.
"Are you O.K.?"
"I think I broke a nail."
She hears Walker groan. "Is that all?--I thought I hurt you."
"I think I'll live, do you want to try again?"
"We've got no choice, we have to keep trying till we get it in
"Just shove it on in alright?"
"Well, O.K. you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, on the count of 3, shove it as
hard as you can, I can handle it."
"It's in!" Alex shouts, "We did it"!
"Finally!" echoes Walker. He rolls out from under his Dodge
Ram. "Took long enough to get that bolt in there."
Alex looks at her fingernail, "You know Cowboy, this broken
nail is going to cost you---double time".
Walker grins and walks over to her, "I've already been doing
double time." He gives her a long, tender kiss. "Thanks for helping me, I
couldn't have held that bolt and hit it at the same time."
Alex sighs and then gives Walker that "puppy dog" look, the same one
that both Jimmy and C.D. found just too much to handle.
"Now that we got the Ram fixed, can we please get on with our vacation?"
Walker pulls her up in his arms and swings her around, "You bet! Tahiti,
here we come!!"