Remembering Alex

Rodeojunky@yahoo.com

Trivette’s thoughts drifted back to the devastating sight a few weeks ago.  As he approached the accident scene, he had seen the firemen using the jaws of life on an all too familiar silver, Dodge Ram. He had also seen the paramedic inside the truck doing chest compressions on Walker. He watched as the last of the bent metal was removed and Walker’s body pulled from the wreckage and loaded into the Care Flight helicopter. The paramedic from the truck had come over and told him what he knew of Walker’s condition. “Your partner is in rough shape. There’s some internal bleeding and he took a hard blow to the head”. The paramedic had also given him two Roses and a card that were lying on the floor of the truck. “Maybe you can see that these get to the person they were intended for. There were more roses, but these were the only two that still looked like flowers” he had told Trivette.  Trivette had known whom to given them to without even reading the card.

Alex sat across from Trivette drinking her coffee. They were both waiting for Walker to meet them for lunch. She thought back to the day Walker regained consciousness after the accident. “He suffered a traumatic blow to the head, which has caused a temporary memory loss. It may take awhile, but we are confident that his memory will slowly return. Being around family and friends will be the greatest help to him. Unfortunately, he probably won’t recognize you right now.” The doctor had told them. It hurt to think about it, but the memory of her visit with Walker that day kept replaying in her head.

She slowly opened the door, thinking she was prepared for him to say, “who are you?” but she wasn’t ready for any of it. “Hi there Cowboy” she said as she walked in.

“Hello” There was no smile, no twinkle in his eyes, no sign of recognition at all.

Alex had secretly felt that once he saw her, his memory of her would snap in. She was devastated to see the emptiness in his stare, not hearing that soft loving tone his voice and not seeing that half smile he always gave her.

It had taken some time for Walker to warm up to her again, but he was starting to take an interest in her. Alex felt like her relationship with him was starting from the beginning and she didn’t know if she could redo all those years over again. He hadn’t even kissed her since the accident. Even though Walker looked at pictures and heard the stories about how happy they were together, he still couldn’t remember any of it. Alex was jealous of Trivette since his friendship with Walker had seemed to progress full speed ahead, and Walker wasn’t even back to work yet. She glanced at her watch…he’s late..

Trivette noticed the glance and the look of concern on Alex’s face. “Don’t worry Alex. When has he ever been on time for a lunch date?”

Alex laughed a little. “Out of all the things to remember, he had to remember to run late for lunch.”

Alex just finished her sentence when Walker came in the door. He came over to the table and took a seat next to Trivette, leaving Alex sitting alone on her side of the booth. She felt hurt when Walker did things like that, but tried to be strong. She knew Walker wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt her.  Most of the lunch was spent with Trivette telling Walker about cases they had worked on together. Alex was quiet and was still trying to cope with the fact that she was not the center of Walker’s attention anymore. Her hopes were lifted when she noticed him ‘stealing’ looks at her. She even thought she saw a slight twinkle in his eyes.

Walker, at his own request, had spent the last two days at the ranch by himself. He had started having flashbacks and memories of Trivette and C.D. were coming back to him. He had needed time to sort things out in his head.  However, the only flashbacks he had of Alex were ones of her badgering him on the witness stand and saying things to him like, ‘that’s all I need is a crazy Cowboy’. He started to wonder how the two of them had ever gotten together. He still could not remember any of their time spent alone together. He had called C.D. and had a long talk with him about Alex and they both came to the conclusion that Walker needed to spend more quality time with her.

Trivette looked at his watch, noticing that his lunch hour had gone a bit long. “Hey, I gotta get back to work. I’ll see you guys later.”

After Trivette left, Walker tried to get up the nerve to ask Alex to dinner. Although he had been told that their relationship was far beyond the ‘dating’ stages he still felt like he was asking her on a first date. “Alex…umm…would you…” Walker paused and took a deep breath. “…would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

“Cordell Walker, are you asking me out on a date?” Alex said teasingly, not knowing that was exactly what Walker felt like he was doing.

Turning a few shades red, “Yeah, I guess I am. If you don’t want to, I underst…”

Before he could finish, Alex blurted out “Yes! I mean, I would love to have dinner with you. I’m just looking forward to spending some time alone with you. I’ve missed you so much Walker.”

He hung his head, feeling guilty about not being able to say that he missed her too. “Alex, I’m trying real hard but you know I still can’t remember all the times we’ve spent together. I know how that must hurt, and I’m real sorry.”

“Oh Walker, it will come back to you. Please, just don’t give up. Don’t shut me out, give me a chance to help you remember.”

“Alex I…” he wanted to tell her how she has already captured a special place in his heart in just the few weeks that he can remember her. “…I guess I should let you get back to work. I’ll pick you up at 6:00?”

A slight smile crossed her face as she realized that he was still shy about expressing his real feelings for her. She could tell he wanted to say more, but instead he changed the subject. Typical Walker. She thought. “6:00 would be great. I’ll see you then.”

*          *            *            *            *

Walker and Alex had spent a quiet evening at one of Dallas’s more prestigious restaurants. Alex couldn’t help to think that it was so uncharacteristic of him to choose such a place. They spent the evening talking about things currently happening in their lives, and not about things Walker couldn’t remember. For the first time in several weeks, Walker wasn’t feeling the pressure to remember things and felt totally comfortable with Alex.

He wished the evening was not coming to an end as he walked Alex up to her apartment. Just taking for granted that he was coming in, Alex said “I’ll make us some coffee. Why don’t you put some music on.”

He was thankful that the evening wasn’t ending, but Walker noticed how she hadn’t even asked if he was coming in. He suddenly got the feeling that he had never been able to say no to her, so even if he had wanted to leave, he probably would have ended up staying. Must be that smile of hers that’s so captivating. Thought Walker.

There was already a CD in the player when he turned it on, so he figured that would be as good as any to play.  He stood in front of the fireplace looking at the pictures on the mantel. As he scanned the pictures he noticed two dried roses and a card propped up against a photo of him and Alex.  An image of him looking at his watch and cursing about being late flashed through his head. Then he saw himself at a flower shop holding a dozen red roses. Walker closed his eyes for a minute to try and clear his head. When the images stopped flashing he picked up the card,                                                   

   Sorry I missed our lunch date,

                                                                have dinner with me and I’ll

                                                make it up to you.

                                                                                       Love – Walker

Images of the accident started popping in and out of his head. He became a little unsteady as the images flashed by and he took a seat on the sofa.  Alex came out of the kitchen with the coffee and sat down next to Walker. “Everything ok?” she asked, noticing that he looked a little disoriented. Walker took a sip of coffee and answered “Everything is fine.”

After about a half hour of talking, Alex decided she needed to make the first move. Noticing that Walker still had his tie on she reached over and started to loosen it. “Why don’t you take this thing off, there’s no need to be formal here.”

He felt the softness of her hands brushing up against him as she struggled to loosen the knot. Enjoying the closeness, he offered no help and let her continue to loosen the tie until she finally got it off. When she had finished, Walker put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Alex rested her head on his shoulder. Everything felt right to Walker, he felt like they had been in this position many times before.  Images of him and Alex snuggling in front of a fireplace raced through his head.  Alex was just enjoying being held in Walker’s arms again. She played with the top button of his shirt and slowly unbuttoned it. Then she started to play with his chest hair, twisting it around her finger. A tingling sensation rushed through Walker’s body. He was unexpectedly hit with a rush of emotions. He felt his heart beating faster, as did Alex. Alex knew she had sparked something in him. She didn’t know if his reaction was because of their past relationship or because of the one they were sharing right now. At this moment it didn’t really matter to her. She felt a need building inside of her and with her body pressed close to Walker’s she could feel desire building inside of him as well. Although, she knew that if their relationship was starting from the beginning again, Walker would be the perfect gentleman and not act on his desires. She tilted her head upwards and gave him a light kiss on the lips. As he started to pull away, Alex gently pulled Walker back and embraced him in another kiss, this time pressing her lips a little harder against his. At that moment Walker’s head starting spinning with images of him and Alex. Everything about them was coming back to him all at once. The rush of memories and emotions overwhelmed him. He broke away from the kiss abruptly and without saying a word, got up and walked out on to the balcony.

Alex took in a deep breath, afraid that she had tried to push their relationship a little to fast for Walker. She watched him out on the balcony as he stood with his hands on the rail and head down, like he was looking for something on the ground. She gave him a few minutes alone then went to join him and apologize.

Walker’s head was still spinning, but he was starting to get a hold of himself. It was like someone turned a light switch on. Every memory of Alex was back in place. Oh God, how could I have not remembered Alex. She’s my whole life. I’m such…  His thoughts were interrupted by soft footsteps.

“Walker, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Alex don’t. Don’t apologize. I’m the one that should be sorry. Sorry that I’ve hurt you. Seems like I do that a lot. How could I have forgotten about the woman I love, the one who makes my life complete, the one who loves me even with all my faults.” Walking over and taking Alex in his arms,  “Alex Cahill, I’m in love with you and no matter what happens to my head, my heart could never forget you.”

Alex felt tears building up and struggled to ask if he remembered things, but all she could manage to say was, “Walker?”

“Yes, I remember. I remember our first kiss on New Year’s, the nights spent sitting on the porch at the ranch watching the stars, the opera you dragged me to, the nights in front of the fireplace sharing a bowl of strawberries, that smile of yours, the feel of you soft skin, the way we make…”

“Oh Walker.” Alex said with a sigh of relief as the two of them held each other tightly.

“You know what else I remember?” asked Walker thinking back to the card he saw on the mantel.

“What?”

“I remember that I have some making up to do for a lunch I missed a few weeks ago.” He whispered as he began kissing the back of her neck.

“You have more than that to make up for Cowboy.”

“hmm…what could I do to make it up to you?” he asked as his lips moved from kissing her neck to nibbling her ear.

“Oh I might be able to think of something.” Alex said as she started to unbutton the rest of his shirt.

“Well call me when you figure something out.” Walker teased as he pretended he was leaving.

“Walker!” exclaimed Alex, playfully slapping him on the arm.

“Oh, did you think of something?”

“As a matter of fact I did.” She started to run her fingers inside his shirt and down his chest. “It’ll take all night, do you think you have time?”

“Well if that’s what it…” his breath suddenly taken away for a moment as Alex’s fingers traveled down his body. Trying to concentrate on what he was saying, Walker struggled to finish the sentence. “if…if that’s what it takes…then I guess I could make the time.”  He gently took Alex’s hand and led her back inside, closing the drapes behind them.

The End

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