To Be or Not To Be?



            A muffled explosion came from behind him.  A flash of sharp pain entered his back and continued through his chest.  The pain and fire then consumed his body.  His mind blurred, a ringing filled his ears, and then as the thump of his body falling to the ground echoed through his head, all grew silent and dark.




            Small explosions surrounded him as the rapid fire continue.  Where was he, he thought?  He and the others continued to close in.  The amount of gunfire was quieting slowly.  His conscious was attentive to what was happening around him; but, his subconscious was worrying and had an eerie feeling.  He knew something was terribly wrong; but, he wouldn’t be able to find out what until this battle was over.

            His name reverberated  through the air.  It was a familiar female’s voice but it was filled with horror and fear.  On guard and filled with adrenaline he raced in the direction of where his name had originated.

            The area was filled with large crates and boxes.  It was difficult for him to know exactly where it had come from.  He didn’t want to alert anyone to his present position but he had little choice.  He knew she was in danger.  He was unsure of his friend’s whereabouts or what was wrong.  He knew her safety was a priority.  He would risk it for her. 

            “Alex,” he shouted!

            “Here,” came back a horrified, panicked filled yell.

            He traveled a short distance and around several containers before he found her. He found a dirty, tear stained face staring up at him.  He looked down to find her blood stained and trembling body sitting in a pool of mud and blood.  In her arms she held him.  Her bloody hand caressed his hair and face assuring him of her presence.

            “Oh God,” he exclaimed as he knelt beside her.  “Where is he hit?”

            “His back,” she whispered continuing to caress his head.  “The front of his shirt has small holes in it too.  He’s bleeding too much,” she continued.

            He tried to remove him from her arms to see what kind of damage had been done.  It did not look very good.  He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and announced he needed a paramedic and helicopter immediately that an officer was down.

            “Every time we all go on vacation…something terrible happens,” she cried.

            A rustling behind caused him to stand armed and ready for action.  As the paramedics rushed toward him, he relaxed slightly.  Alex was reluctant to let go of the patient but with his embracing arms pulling her away and encouragement, she reluctantly let him go.  With her in his embrace, together they watched the paramedics stabilize and prepare their patient for transport. 




As Trent and Carlos dragged their victims, and indeed they were from the beating they had gotten, from the other side of the complex to where the police units were parked, both noticed a medic helicopter circling above the parking area.  It was searching for a landing spot.

They found several officers organizing a group of criminals together, they handed over his captives to them and rushed towards the paramedic team that was now heading toward the chopper.  They saw Alex’s hair blowing in the hurricane like wind created by the propellers as she accompanied the paramedics.  They watched as the helicopter ascended and headed in the direction of the closest trauma center.

A mud covered man was escorting Alex towards them.  Most of her wait was leaning on him and her arms embraced herself.

“What happened?” they asked simultaneously as they approached.

Neither Alex nor the mud covered man could answer.  With tears streaming her cheeks, her legs shaking with weakness, she collapsed against the mud covered body.  He embraced her trembling body and looked with great concern into the eyes of the men standing behind her.  He slowly shook his head, then he lead her back to the truck.  He pulled a blanket out from the back seat and wrapped it around her.  He helped her in the truck and then got in himself.  He started it up, turning on the heat to warm her.  He knew most of the reason she was trembling was not the chill of the air against her wet clothed body, but fear and grief.




            They arrived at the hospital.  Alex was anxious.  Her voice was filled with panic as she questioned the nurse.  Her panicked tone changed to fury as the nurse refused to release any information regarding the patient as she was not family.  Alex’s voice raised several notches as she began to put the nurse in her place and informed her she would give her the information she wanted without further delay or question.

The man standing behind her was unsure of whether or not he should intervene.  Alex was not in any condition to be gently chastised for her outburst.  Soothing her with words of comfort or his embrace would not help either.  He would just have to keep a close eye on her.  She had been through similar situations and had managed to come out fine in the end.  Now, however, things were very different from then.

The nurse calmly and nervously lead Alex and her escort to a nearby waiting room and assured them as soon as the doctor had a moment, she would be sure he spoke with them.  Alex was not happy with her answer but accepted it.

“How is he?” Trent asked as he rounded the corner spotting them.

“We don’t know.  He’s with the doctor; and as soon as he can, he’ll be out to talk to us,” he was informed.

A long time passed before anyone was able to give them an answer about his condition.  They all paced the waiting area like caged panthers.  More than once Alex had used her District Attorney’s voice, attitude, and position to try to get some answers without success.  No one knew what was going on or even knew if he was still alive.




Lying in a world of darkness lit only by thoughts and memories.  His body was consumed by pain and weakness.  His only hold onto the living was his connection to the flood of thoughts and memories.  If nothing else gave him the strength and courage to hang on, it would be them.

In his mind, he could see her beautiful eyes, her soft pink lips, and her beautiful body.  He could smell her hair and her perfume.  He could feel her soft skin beneath his finger tips.  He could feel her silken hair on his cheek and chest.  He could feel her love radiating energy through his mind.  With those unforgettable visions and senses intact, his thoughts wandered freely giving him the life he needed to sustain his own.




“Ms. Cahill?” a man inquired.

“Yes,” she answered turning around to face him.

“I’m Dennis Wilcox, one of Ranger Walker’s surgeons.”

“How is he?” Jimmy asked anxiously.

“We’ve finally got him stabilized and we will be taking him to surgery in a moment.  I will be honest with you…it doesn’t look good.  He has lost a lot of blood and the bullet exploded upon impact causing numerous areas of internal bleeding.  His relatives should be notified.”

“We are his relatives there doc,” C.D. stated.  “And don’t you go telling us Cordell ain’t gonna make it. He’ll pull through, you just wait and see,” C.D. said confidently.

“I will notify you when we are out of surgery.  I must get ready for surgery,” he said as he turned away and headed down the long busy corridor.




Something was happening.  Walker wasn’t sure what but those beautiful images, thoughts, and memories of Alex faded.  His mind grew hazy.  He searched the recesses of his mind for those precious treasures; but, they vanished.  He needed her to be with him.  For the first time, he realized he truly needed someone; something he had let go of many years ago.  Just before the haze set in, he gripped one final image of Alex smiling at him with her hair blowing in the wind as she rode Angel joyously across the field on his ranch.



Darkness consumed him, yet dreams of what was to be…or not to be developed in his mind slowly.  They were vivid yet faded.  They were real yet dream-like.  They were the life he wanted yet did not have.  The transparent visions in his mind eased the pain of his struggle and filled him with peace.




Walker was atop Amigo.  His long legs were covered in black dress pants.  His tuxedo tails rested over Amigo’s haunches and his black bow-tie fluttered in the wind.

To his right he saw the most beautiful, angelic women he had ever seen.  Alex wearing a flowing gown of white sat atop Angel sitting sidesaddle.  They were slowly making their way toward him through the wildflower decorated field.

He looked to his left and saw a path outlined with bouquets of white daisies and white ribbons leading to the area that had been decorated and set-up for the ceremony.  Ahead Walker could see Jimmy, C.D. and the minister along with numerous seated guests waiting for the couple to arrive.

He returned his eyes to Alex.  She looked stunning.  Her veil floating in the gentle breeze.  Her hair glimmering in the sun.  Her smile was bright and her eyes shone with excitement and anticipation.

She drew up her reigns as Angel stepped along side of Amigo, who gently rubbed her nose with his.  Walker and Alex laughed together, “Love is in the air,” she said. 

Walker took her hands in his.  “You look incredible,” he whispered softly.

“You look pretty handsome yourself,” Alex said jovially, trying to relax herself.  She was nervous; but, she had no idea why.  She loved Walker with all her heart.  Only their nearest and dearest friends were invited.  She had nothing to be nervous about; but she was.

“Nervous?” he asked with a grin.

With a quick glance and a giggle, “No, you?” she retorted laughingly.

“You two move it along,” C.D. shouted as he made his way up the path.  “The chili is getting cold.”

Walker and Alex laughed.  Side by side they rode towards the wooded area.  Walker’s eyes never left the beautiful, radiant women by his side.  She had captured him-heart and soul.  Soon, very soon, he thought, she will be my wife.



            In a flash the pleasant image was gone.  The blackness filled his mind again.  A pinpoint sized bright light appeared in his mind and it grew larger, closer, and brighter as the seconds passed.



            “He’s flat lined!”



            The only sound beside the solid tone in the room was the sound of the machine humming…then…the click of the paddles…then…the plunk of Walker’s body on the table.

            “Clear!” the doctor called out, once again.

            Once again, the only sound to heard was the tone of the machine…then…the click of the paddles…then…the plunk of Walker’s body on the table.

            Seconds later, the consistent beeping of the machine regained its rhythm and the surgeons returned to work.




            The light vanished and darkness consumed him once more.  It seemed like a long time before the peace filled him again.  It seemed like an eternity before those pleasant visions returned.  They were still transparent like the ghosts from the hereafter, yet they were images of the future…what was to be…or not to be.




Walker came down the stairs, headed toward the kitchen.  He was ready for work and running late.  The sound of singing coming from the kitchen made him stop and smile.  He knew that sweet sounding voice.  As he entered the dining room, he saw the back of her as she poured the coffee.

She turned around cheerfully, revealing a large round stomach.  She came around the counter and with a cheerful smile planted a big kiss on Walker’s lips, as her “good morning.”

His arms embraced her and kissed her happily.  She looked radiant, even for a nine month pregnant woman who had only slept a few hours in the last week.  She was extremely uncomfortable but you would never know it to look at her.  She was all smiles and energetic.  “You look beautiful this morning,” he said lovingly.

His hands slid down her side and then massaged her large stomach.  “And how are you this morning, little one,” he asked wearing a large grin.

The smile on Alex’s face grew as she watched her loving husband talk to their baby. 

A little kick was the response Walker got from his child and he laughed happily.  Rubbing the area where the foot had struck as to say thank you to the child and soothe his wife to comfort. 

“We better hurry.  We are going to be late,” Alex stated pointedly.

“We? …. I don’t think so Alex.  The doctor said you needed to rest.  Your due date is only a few days away.”

“We’re not going to have this argument again, are we?” Alex asked stubbornly.

“If you go to the office, you are not going to rest.  You need to rest,” Walker said gliding up to his wife’s side.

“If I am here and I go into labor, the baby will be here before you will and I’ll have to deliver it alone.  I’ll never make it to Dallas in time,” Alex pointed out.

She had caught him again, he thought.  I never win an argument with her.  “Let’s make a deal.  We’ll go to Dallas; but, you will rest at Jimmy’s.”

“Walker,” she moaned, “I have a lot to do before the baby gets here.  I have a desk of cases….”

Walker stopped her list of to-do’s by placing his finger on her lips.  “Here or Jimmy’s?” was all he said.  His eyes were serious; and his look told her she would lose this argument.  He wanted her safe and healthy along with the baby.  He would not break on this one particular area.  He may have let her paint the baby’s room in pastels and helped her paint the blue ceiling with clouds; but, her health was not something he would give in on.

For a moment, Alex stood silently holding her ground.  So did Walker.  He looked into her eyes proving to her he was in Ranger mode and not going to bend.  She stood her ground for a moment longer and then conceded to stay at Jimmy’s while he worked.

“Why don’t you grab your book and some things you can enjoy doing while you rest at Jimmy’s, he said with a wink and a smile.  “I’ll clean up and call Jimmy to let him know he will have a house sitter for the day.”  He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close and gave her a gentle loving kiss.




After Walker and Jimmy had made Alex comfortable at Jimmy’s; and they had promised to bring her lunch around one after calling first to find out what she wanted; and made sure the cell phone worked and was close at hand, returned to their normal daily routine.  Their first stop being the office and then out to catch some bad guys.

Walker and Jimmy returned to Jimmy’s with an anxiously awaiting Alex who was famished.  She didn’t look like she had rested for a second.  The living room was spotless and had a lemony fresh scent, the kitchen and the bathroom smelled of vinegar and were sparkling clean.  Jimmy was afraid to go to the bedroom.

“Alex, you were supposed to be resting,” Walker began in a chastising tone.

“I can’t.  I am not comfortable sitting, standing, or lying.  I had to do something.  Moving makes me feel better.  Besides,” she said leaning in closer to Walker so Jimmy couldn’t hear her, “his place really needed a good cleaning.”

Walker’s eyes looked heavenward.  He lead her without another word to the couch and helped her sit down.  He fluffed up pillows and propped up her feet.  He attempted to make her comfortable without great success.

After sniffing the bedroom, Jimmy returned to the living room to find Walker fussing over Alex’s comfort.  “I’ll serve.  I’m starved,” Jimmy said as he began digging through the carry out bags.

“Thanks for cleaning the apartment Alex.  It looks great.”

“You’re welcome.  I’m going to…” Alex stopped in mid-sentence as she looked at the objection on Walker’s face to her comment.

“You don’t need to,” knowing Alex was referring to the only room in the apartment that hadn’t been cleaned-the bedroom.

“You’re not going to do anything else today but rest,” Walker interjected.  “If you won’t do it the easy way, you’ll do it the hard way.”

“And how will that be, my dear?” Alex said slyly.

Walker pulled out his handcuffs and let them dangle from one finger without saying a word.  Jimmy busted out laughing.  Alex looked at him defiantly.

“You will not!” she shouted struggling greatly to quickly get up from the couch.  Her face was now beat red as she continued to rave, “I am not an invalid, in case you haven’t noticed!  I am pregnant!  If I want to clean…I’ll clean!  If I want to do work…I’ll work!”  Alex continued on for another few moments, while Jimmy sat eating his lunch and watching like he was at the movies and Walker sat in awe.

Walker had heard of mood swings and had seen just a few minor incidents since Alex’s pregnancy began; but this would be the biggest and most interesting yet.  In the middle of her ranting and raving, during mid-sentence, she broke down into a flood of tears and collapsed very ungracefully onto the couch.  She was sobbing so heavily, Walker believed she would begin to hyperventilate if he didn’t soothe her.  He closed in and placed his arms about her and attempted to soothe her.  Within seconds she had burst into hysterical laughter.  The tears from the sobbing were now tears of uncontrollable laughter.  When she could no longer breathe from laughing, she found herself crying again because she felt huge and ugly, this she attempted to explain through sniffles.

Walker was at a loss as to how to help her.  He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or run.  He thought about calling the doctor; but, he was afraid it would start the process over again by sending Alex into a raving pregnant woman yelling about him being overly protective. 

Jimmy, on the other hand, enjoyed the show.  He especially enjoyed Walker’s uncomfortable and confused state.  It was the first time he had seen Walker unsure of a situation and himself.

Alex’s hysterics suddenly stopped.  Her eyes widened and she gripped Jimmy’s arm with deadly force.  From Jimmy’s reaction to the pain, Walker was almost glad he had been standing further away.  He quickly stepped to her side, “Alex?”  She didn’t answer, just tightened her grip on Jimmy’s arm.  “Alex,” Walker almost shouted.

“Ummmm,” was all she could manage.

“I’ll get your things and call the doctor,” Walker said calmly as he moved around the apartment gathering her things and pulling the doctor’s telephone number from his wallet.

When the worst of the pain was over, Alex released Jimmy’s arm; and, he quickly moved away from her reach.  “Hang up the phone,” she said in agonizing pain.

Walker turned and looked at her.  The look on her face told him there was no time for a doctor.




            Flashes of white lights filled his mind disturbing his visions.  Then it was a barrage of flashes in quick succession of what was to be…or not to be.


Walker saw himself standing in a pastel decorated room with a

blue ceiling painted with white clouds and the walls painted with a white picket fence, wildflowers, horses, trees, and birds.  There in the room, one on each side of one window was a white crib.  Sitting in a rocking chair near the other window was Alex holding both of their sons, rocking and singing them to sleep.


Next, Walker saw one of his boys.  He guessed around the age of ten playing with a younger, curly blonde hair girl in the backyard (she couldn’t have been more than five or six).  He watched them chase each other and wrestle.  It wasn’t until his other son yelled, “Hey sis!” just before throwing a football at her from behind a tree, that he realized that she was his daughter.  And his daughter she was, as she caught the football without thought or fear and returned her brother’s favor.


Walker found himself sitting atop Amigo, next. In his arms was his curly blonde hair daughter. He heard her sweet child-like voice cheer, “Faster Daddy! Faster!” Walker and Amigo accommodated her but it was not enough.  She wasn’t content until they were running at full speed through the field.


His sons stood in the school yard, his image standing behind them watching.  They were being picked on by the school bully and his gang.  They stood their ground but ended up on the ground getting clobbered.  Suddenly all three of them were in the backyard along with his daughter, learning and practicing self-defense.  He watched days of practicing flash by and saw his sons and daughter grow in skill and height.


Walker found himself and Alex riding together with their teenage children on their horses.  They were heading into the woods for a picnic together.  Walker looked at Alex with loving eyes and heard his daughter comment to her brothers that “I hope my husband looks at me that way after we’ve been married as long as they have.”




The darkness consumed Walker’s mind.  The visions of joy and peace were gone.  The darkness was warm and welcoming.  The question lingering for Walker of were these things to be or not to be faded into the darkness.



'Walker Texas Ranger' and it's characters belong to CBS Inc., Norris Brothers Productions and maybe other copyright holders. This story and the author is in no way connected to those copyright holders and intends no infringement on their copyrights. The story is only meant as an entertaining tribute to a great show and it's cast and crew. This story is part of a mailing ring and may be distributed and copied freely, in its entirety, for personal use. All original author and copyright information must remain intact. Any sales or other uses of this document are expressly forbidden, without the specific consent of the author(s).