Touched By A Ranger

By I. M. Disgruntled

 

 

It was a peaceful autumn afternoon in Texas, filled with laughing children, golden sunlight and gently falling leaves. Children in the park playground laughed as they ran, spun, and teeter tottered in the dappled sunlight filtering through the trees.

Suddenly, a black van raced up and several men, wearing stocking caps over their heads, emerged carrying guns. They opened fire and…..

Children fell in slow motion.

Mothers raced toward their children, only to be gunned down. They, too, fell in slow motion.

Only two children went untouched, hidden behind a tree. They were the intended victims of the attack, Bucky and Becky Jones. They watched in terror as the slow motion falling continued, screams distorted by special effects.

Finally, the masked men piled back in the van and sped away. Bucky and Becky stood up, looking at the carnage surrounding them.

"I wonder if we'll be traumatized by this all our lives?" little Becky wondered, her pigtails askew and her eyes wide.

"Only until Ranger Walker gets justice," little Bucky vowed.

 

Later, at Ranger Headquarters, Bucky and Becky sat in Assistant District Attorney Alex Cahill's office, eating ice cream. Bucky played with a Roy Rogers gun, despite the fact that no child had played with the King of the Cowboys toys in several generations.

Becky held her doll, a cowgirl, closely and thought pure thoughts about ice cream.

"There's no doubt this was a message to their father, Judge Roy Bean Jones," Alex Cahill spoke urgently to Ranger James Trivette on the phone. "Find Walker as fast as you can."

"I'm here," Ranger Cordell Walker intoned from the doorway, hat in hand and Indian horse blanket jacket on.

 

Alex hung up the phone, squealing with happiness, ignoring Trivette's complaints.

She hurried across to hug the bearded man. "Walker! How did you know?"

"There was a disturbance in the force," Walker said, without expression. He disengaged from Alex and went over to the two children, who getting ice cream all over the office. "Bucky, Becky, I'm Ranger Walker."

      The two children squealed in delight.

      "I know you'd come!" Bucky said happily.

      "Ranger Walker, I'm so scared," Becky complained.

Walker sat down and gathered the two children in his lap. "Let me tell you the story of Little Feather and what the brave little Indian prince did when he was scared.

Becky appeared a little put out; she'd heard this before and the ice cream was melting. But a sharp glare from Bucky reminded her where the paycheck was coming from, so she looked enraptured. Alex also knew the facts of life, so she beamed happily.

 

"So, Cordell, you mean all those sweet little kids got killed just to get back at Judge Jones?" C.D. asked, outraged.

"That's right, Big Dog. And then they missed the two kids they were aiming at," Trivette answered, while drinking his carrot juice.

"We'll get 'em," Walker said, tonelessly, while twiddling his thumbs. Finally, he checked his watch. "Alex is late," he remarked.

      C.D. and Trivette looked at each other in alarm.

      "Don't tell me-" C.D. started.

      "She's been kidnapped!" Trivette finished.

      "I'll get them for this," Walker said dryly.

 

Late that same night, C.D. closed up his bar, alone as always, despite the fact something bad always happened at this time. Two men burst in, wearing cowboy hats and masks.

"God love Texas!" the ex-Ranger exclaimed as the two men approached menacingly. "I suppose you're here over that Judge Jones thing," he snarled, brandishing his dishtowel.

"Of course we are!" one of the men snapped, punching C.D. in the stomach.

      "But I don't know anything about that!" C.D. gasped.

"Doesn't matter; it's in the script, every week," the bad guy replied and went on mercilessly beating C.D. until the commercial break.

 

0 0 0

 

"I feel moderately bad about this," Cordell Walker said woodenly as he and James Trivette watched medics load C.D. into the ambulance for the fifth time in as many weeks.

"Man, I'm worried "Trivette said nervously. It had better not be my turn to get hit by a car' he thought furiously.

"Let's go back to the office and see what you can dig up on your computer," Walker said, expressionlessly.

They hurried over to Walker's truck and climbed in. Walker switched the engine on and the radio blasted, playing Eyes Of A Ranger Walker immediately started chanting along.

Trivette cringed. Why couldn't they have gotten Peabo Bryson to sing the title track anyway?

 

Meanwhile, by a small lake and deep in the woods of Texas, a cabin held a group of unsavory men with one blonde woman tied to a chair, her mini-skirt working its way high.

How come I'm always kidnapped in short dresses and high heels? Alex Cahill thought miserably, as yet another ugly man leered in her face.

"Aren't you going to ask me about Judge Jones?" she asked in desperation. For a moment, the bad men looked blank. They consulted for a moment, then

came back out of their huddle. "We were going to, but we've decided your beating and near rape would make a better story," the leader, a big man with a beard declared.

Alex whimpered as they approached. "Save me, Walker! Save me!"

 

Walker paced restlessly behind Trivette at his desk. "Where are they, Trivette?" he asked indifferently.

Jimmy Trivette scowled. He had been surfing eBay on his computer, lookin- for Matlock collectibles and he wondered, not for the first time, exactly what Walker imagined he could do with a computer. Reluctantly, he signed off and activated his super-duper cell phone locator program.

"They're at the old Jenson farm, just south of the big oak tree, with a sparrow sitting on the right hand fence. Glad they let her make a phone call."

"I know where that is," Walker replied inanimatedly. He headed for the door. Trivette jumped up to follow, but Walker waved him back. "This is a job for the Sons of Thunder, Trivette. You stay here and check the computer for clues."

Trivette threw down his jacket in disgust. "Hey, that's just fine, man." He activated the computer and went to Jobs.com. Punching up law enforcement, he muttered, "Man, I'm gonna fill the message boards tonight!"

 

0 0 0

 

 

Walker, Trent Malloy, known as Son of Thunder white, and Carlos Sandoval, known as Son of Thunder brown, surrounded the lakeside cabin where they could hear Alex's screams.

"We better get in there," Son of Thunder white muttered.

"I thought martial arts taught you guys patience," Son of Thunder brown joked. Thinking it over a bit, he asked, "What are we waiting for?"

"The right moment," Walker intoned. "One of you go left, the other take the right and I'll go in the front."

"But that will take longer, Master," said Son Of Thunder white.

"It will make the timing more dramatic," Walker deigned to explain.

"Let's go!" all three shouted, alerting the bad guys to their presence. The Sons of Thunder split up in separate directions but Walker preferred the direct approach. He walked on water toward the cabin.

 

"He's here to save me!" Alex exclaimed. "Just in the nick of time!" If this man had gotten much further the scene could have ended very badly for her.

The Sons of Thunder kicked and punched their way in. Bad guys fell. Oh! A near miss for Son of Thunder white. Son of Thunder brown decks another one. The leader of the bad guys runs over to Alex, raising his knife to her throat. She screams. (Alex in the first two seasons would have kicked him you-know-where, but she's suddenly forgotten all of this.)

Finally, at the last moment, the bad guy's hand is stopped an inch from Alex's throat. WALKER, TEXAS RANGER stands before him, no change of expression on his face as he bends the bad guy's arm over backward. The bad guy whimpers but pretends to be a man and fight back. He gets in a lucky hit, Alex screams. Walker stoically takes the blow but suddenly the sound effects start and he moves in slow motion, twirling around and kicking the bad guy through the wall!

"My hero," Alex sobs and once untied, bawls into Walker's shirt. Unmoved, Walker looks around and pats Alex's shoulder, once.

The Sons of Thunder beam happily into the fadeout.

 

Bucky, Becky and their father, Judge Roy Bean Jones gathered at Ranger headquarters, all eating ice cream.

"When I grow up I want to be just like you, Ranger Walker," Bucky says admiringly.

"That means you'll have to eat your spinach, say your prayers and sing Eyes of A Ranger every night," Walker said unemotionally.

"Yay, we will! We will!" the children beam happily.

The Sons of Thunder look on blissfully and everyone beams. Everyone, except Alex and Trivette, that is.

 

"Yeah, I'm okay, Walker," Alex said tartly, tired of being pushed to the back for the SoT's.

"C.D.'s gonna be all right too," Trivette said snidely, also tired of being pushed to the back for the SoT's.

When Walker comes over, bringing the camera with him, they automatically beam, because, "It's paycheck time, baby."

"Too bad about those other kids, Walker," Trivette said lightly.

"Oh, Jimmy! I forgot to tell you," Alex said, furiously consulting her script. "I'm going to help the parents get over their loss and sorrow at my Help Our People Exhale house."

"That's great, Alex," Jimmy said, warmly, wondering who the hell wrote this stuff. Walker gave Alex a very brief hug. "A great idea, Alex," he said, neither warmly

or coolly. "Everything's all right, then."

Everyone smiled for the final freeze shot, with the damned Sons of Thunder squeezing in again!

 

 

Author's note: Bring back Tom Blomquist Please!!

 

P.S. I. M. Disgruntled is a real name. Peggy Hartsook is a pen name!