Reflections
By Teresa Caligaris
with a little thrown in from Jennifer

Alex shifts in bed and Walker has to prop himself on his elbow so he can continue staring at her face while she’s asleep. He moves aside a lock of blonde hair over her cheek, not wanting to wake her, but not wanting anything interrupting the most pleasurable task for him...watching Alex while she’s sleeping. 'Well almost the most pleasurable thing to do' he thought to himself chuckling, thinking of the way he felt every time they made love.

They had been together for a long time now, "seven wonderful years" she had said during the flight, and he had been thrilled she felt that way, since he felt the same...but was always unsure if he’d been good enough for her. He marveled about everything they had faced together and about how much and in how many ways she has changed him. Yes, he has changed, and even when he’d felt that it wasn’t noticeable to anyone else but him...now he knew it certainly was. At least he hadn’t fooled Trivette. Jimmy told him so yesterday, in one of the moments they were alone during the welcome home party Gordon, Sydney, Gage and Jimmy threw for them, saying they wanted to see the pictures from the honeymoon..."At least you took pictures of Paris, right? The outside world I mean?" Jimmy had teased grinning slyly.

Alex moved, seeking him in her sleep...so he propped himself against the headboard and took her into his arms, resting her head on his stomach so he could still have an unobstructed view of her face. She moved for a second, finding the right position and continued sleeping peacefully, knowing there was nothing to worry about since she was feeling his body warming her. He began caressing her arms and back absentmindedly, recalling again his talk with Jimmy.

*******************************

They were alone in the barn, checking on the horses while Alex was chatting with her Dad. Sydney and Gage had already left, so there was just the family, his family, at the ranch, and the feeling was incredible to him. He felt like his home was complete, more complete than ever before. Jimmy was telling him the news of happenings during the two weeks they had been on their honeymoon as they were heading back to the house when Walker stopped to pick up a flower for his wife.

Jimmy shook his head in disbelief. “Partner, you sure improved your romantic side a lot for a man who two years ago didn’t know the price of roses!”

Walker just smiled, "Come on Trivette, you know I wasn’t that bad!”

Jimmy laughed and agreed with him "Yeah, probably you were, but man, you hid it too well from everybody...but me!" And that was right, because he’s the one who caught the bouquet of wildflowers Walker made for Alex after he came back early from a trip to the reservation, a "just because” bouquet, as he always did. He’d kept his little surprises for Alex only until then, and even with the world knowing they had a relationship, he always kept his feelings in check whenever people were around them. But that day Jimmy just happened to be at her place, waiting for Alex to start one of their not so unusual "shopping trips" as Walker called them, and he had seen Walker –and the bouquet- at the door, since Alex was still getting ready. He started laughing and screaming excitedly, saying "I’ve got you partner! I’ve got you! So you are...aren’t you? You’re not going to deny this, no way!" He paused for a moment, "Alex, I need a camera! Pleaaaaaassse!”

Alex came out of her bedroom puzzled by Jimmy’s screams. He stopped screaming and pointed to Walker when Alex came into the room. "Here it is...finally! The body of evidence...HE HAS ROMANTIC FIBER AFTER ALL! Oh man, where’s my camera when I need it!" surely thinking about all the good "gotchas" he could get on his partner after this.

Walker stood there, smiling at Jimmy’s reaction, feeling some redness creeping up his neck. Alex, after taking in the scene, scolded Jimmy playfully saying, "James Trivette, I told you he was a sweetheart, you didn’t trust me?”, all the while making her way to the door -and to Walker's waiting arms- to greet him with a sweet kiss and a beautiful smile that ended his embarrassment.

Jimmy’s answer sent them all to hysterics since he stated with a pained expression "Aw, come on Counselor, you better than anybody should know your word is just 'circumstantial evidence', you’re a bit of a prejudiced witness in that matter. After all, everybody knows he can send you to seventh heaven with just a wink!”

He sought out her back with his hand, automatically caressing her in the spot he remembered still so well, because after the laughs had ended and a couple of minutes of silence ensued Jimmy started speaking about the time he started to show that side more openly...that other wedding, the wedding were Alex was shot. He recalled the shooting again...it was a painful thought never too far from his mind, and a rush of feelings still strong and still frightening ran through him. He pushed the thoughts aside…he wouldn’t let them make him any less happier than he was right now…and focused on the moment he saw Alex after she was finally out of the coma...

He entered the room following an ecstatic Jimmy, locking eyes with her immediately, and while Jimmy greeted and kissed her, he just stood there shifting his weight from one foot to the other, nervously playing with his hat, as a way to avoid his feelings overpowering him. Finally Jimmy stood aside, and he took a slow step, and then another and another, toward her. It seemed to him the longest distance he’d ever walked and still they were just three steps. He took her hand, now warm and alive. Then nothing else mattered but them … and he did what was right with his heart … he proposed, never feeling better than at that moment. They kissed and embraced, and kissed again, and again, losing any idea of time. He didn’t want to let her go and she didn’t want him to lose his hold. But she was still weak and he felt she was getting uncomfortable, so he eased her back in bed.

"No," she whispered.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh…I’m just going to make you comfortable…and me too, since I don’t want you far from my arms either," he smiled sitting beside her in bed and pulling her back against his chest so she wasn’t putting any stress on her injury. It was then that Jimmy and C.D. came back. They told them the news, which sent them to heaven and back. After a few minutes they wisely left again, saying they would come by later, as C.D. said "You know honey, we need to make sure that Cordell don’t sneak you out, like he always does!"

After their friends were gone they stayed silent, enjoying the physical closeness they’d missed so much. She reached back to stroke his beard with her left hand, while the right one sought his that rest over her stomach. "Are you okay, darling?"

He smiled, turning to kiss her hand, knowing she didn’t mean physically, but emotionally. It was just like Alex to be worried about him, and wanting to talk about those feelings. She knew he has a hard time expressing himself. "I’m fine now, hon…I’m fine now.”

She remained silent knowing there was more he wanted to say, she just needed to wait for him. And he did, he told her about the pain, anger, solitude and despair he had felt. About everything he did while she was out, searching for Storm, running to get him, but feeling all the while like he was there physically, but his soul was in another place. Because that was it, his soul was all the while in another place…by her bedside, afraid to lose her, talking to her, telling her not to leave him. She cried then, overwhelmed by his words, and by the realization that indeed he was with her all the time, she had felt him there. He cried too…feeling relieved, as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. It wasn’t really that bad to express himself he thought back then, he didn’t know there would be yet another time he would deny his feelings to Alex, pushing her away because of his foolish pride.

She had fallen asleep in his arms after a while, but he didn’t move, not until he had to wake her when it was time for yet another check. She asked the doctor immediately "My legs feel numb. Is that all right? Is everything okay with me?”

Walker looked at her first and then to the doctor. She hadn’t told him she wasn’t having much feeling in her legs. ‘She must be scared to death’ he thought.

The doctor smiled, thinking she was incredibly calm considering the possibilities. "Miss Cahill…”

"Alex…”

"Ok, Alex then. There’s nothing wrong with your legs, it’s just the expected consequence of the bullet grazing near your spine. Your nerves are swollen and need some time and help to heal completely…but in time, everything will be okay."

"Thank God!" she breathed.

Walker immediately showed his own concern. "What kind of help would she need for the healing?”

"Well, for one, I want you to stay here for a week more…”

"A week? But doctor, I want to go home…I've had enough of hospitals, I really want to go home," Alex pleaded with tears in her eyes.

"Well Alex, I knew our room service was bad, but you sure are in a hurry to leave us! You’ve been awake barely 6 hours."

Walker spoke up to help the doctor, "Alex, listen to him, I’m sure he has a good reason for that…”

"Yeah, right, as if you’ve ever listened to the doctor’s good reasons before," replied Alex, feigning hurt.

The doctor laughed and took the opportunity. "Listen Alex, I need for you to be on bed rest so you can get your strength back, but I also need for you to go to therapy in double shifts, which wouldn’t be possible with you at home. You would need a ride here for that and I -and your back- simply cannot allow that right now.”

She sighed loudly and pouted, not giving in to it yet.

"See doc, that’s what I have to face every time I try to say no to her," was Walker's comment.

"Well Ranger Walker, I can see how hard it is, but this time you have to help. And the answer is still no, Alex.”

She tensed up knowing she wouldn't win this time, she really didn’t want to stay. She was dealing with her own fears and feelings on the shooting, feelings she hadn’t let out until now because she was focused on Walker.

Both men noticed something was bothering her so the doctor told her, "Look Alex, we can compromise on something. If you stay here until you don’t need the machines for your therapy anymore, I’ll let you go home and continue the treatment there. Can you do that?"

Alex was still upset, but looking in Walker’s eyes and seeing his concern, she had to give in. She would do anything to spare him from pain. "Okay. Just promise me you will not keep me here a minute more than needed, please?”

"I promise. Besides I don’t think Ranger Walker would let me keep you here too much, I’m sure he’s anxious to have you at home. I would be if I were as lucky as him.” Both men smiled knowingly, and then the doctor left.

Walker was making himself comfortable again when Alex stopped him "Darling, I want you to go home and get some rest, you look tired."

"Yes, but I would rest better here, with you.”
"I wouldn’t call it rest to be sleeping in a chair, and I don’t want no for an answer… I already got one just a minute ago and it’s more than I can bear, you know!" she said in her best ‘hurt’ tone.

He laughed knowing she was just worried about him, and that she was probably right. She had convinced him to go to get some sleep, "in bed" that night, which he complied after kissing her long and hard, stating he needed a proper "send off", she smiled at him but he saw something else in her eyes.

The next day he couldn't make it to the hospital early…he had to go to Ranger Headquarters to give his statement and to ask the Captain for some days off, so he arrived to find her already working pretty hard with her therapist. He watched from the side for a while, smiling at the effort she was giving it, but as the minutes went on he noticed, too, that she was in quite a bit of pain. He joined her, talking and cracking jokes to take her thoughts from the pain, willing her to concentrate on the exercises. After the session ended and she was back in her room and had something to eat, she fell asleep, only to be woken again for more therapy. That was their life for the next few days…with him constantly by her side, except at night because she made her point about it being unnecessary for him to be there, since she was asleep almost a second after her head hit the pillow, thanks to therapy and the pain killers.

After five days she was able to walk around by herself, yet slowly and unsteadily, and the doctor had been reducing medication gradually, to the point she was almost off of them, so she pressed for release again, she was starting to feel trapped there. This time she had Walker’s help since he was anxious to have her out of the hospital too, for more than one reason. He had felt something was wrong with her, he was sure she was having trouble with sleep since she started going without the sedatives, but they were never alone long enough to talk and she was putting on a brave front for everyone, so that discussion would have to wait.

After checking to make sure she was okay to leave, the doctor gave in as he promised and instructed the nurses for her to be discharged. Alex was seated in bed waiting for the doctor’s final instructions, dressed in faded jeans and a loose blue shirt, legs dangling from bed and with Walker seated beside her, holding her hand. "Okay Alex, you are doing great, considering what you’ve been through and there’s no reason to keep you here…but…”

"But…?" she asked, knowing full well she would need to compromise a lot to be
discharged.

"You’re going to be resting most of the time, no unnecessary walking besides therapy, bathroom privileges and to go to the most comfortable sofa in the house…and I mean it,” he ordered, pointing a finger at her, "until your next check up.” He turned to Walker, "Ranger Walker, she’ll be staying with you, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, then be sure she does as she was told," then pausing for a second, "and uh…one more thing, this time for you too…”

"Whatever it is, consider it done,” stated Walker firmly.

"Since we need to get the swelling completely down and not strain your spine for a while Alex, uh…well…” The doctor was finding it hard to say. He knew Walker would never risk Alex’s health, but he’d seen in the past weeks the bond they had, the deep love that drove their every move, and knew without a doubt it would be hard for them to avoid something as natural as sharing their bodies, but he had no other way around it. "I have to advise no sexual intercourse, at least not until your next check up, and then…we’ll see.”

Both turned different shadows of red, looking to the floor as if they were teenagers caught kissing in a dark place. Finally Walker got his voice and smiled weakly "You’ve got it doc", he replied shaking his head, trying to sound convincing, since he already knew it would be a hard promise to keep. The nurse with the wheelchair to take Alex to the door came in at that moment and the doctor said his goodbyes and turned to leave.

But then Walker and Alex both together yelled to him… "Wait!" They stared at each other, feeling embarrassed again, and then Walker asked lamely, squeezing Alex’s hand a little tighter "You forgot to tell us when the next check up would be.”

The doc laughed out loud, he knew they wouldn’t let him go without that. "Two weeks".

"Two weeks!" Alex said incredulously.

"As in fourteen days Alex," the doctor chuckled looking at their faces, then turned to leave. “And I have the feeling you’ll be anxious to see me."

They could hear him still chuckling after disappearing into the hall. And when they turned, they were greeted with the smiling face of the nurse, who had heard the entire exchange.

The ride to the ranch was nice and quick since there wasn't any rush hour traffic. They made small talk on the way, with Alex trying hard to fill the silence. 'She’s not ready to talk yet', thought Walker.

They arrived to find Jimmy and C.D. waiting for them on the front porch. They helped Alex down and both hugged her tightly, telling her how glad they were to have her back. C.D. put his arm around Alex's waist to help her with her weight and Jimmy did the same from the other side, both guiding her to the back yard, chatting happily all the way. "Alex, honey, you’re gonna love what I made for lunch after all that nonsense they feed you at the hospital.”

"C.D.! It wasn’t that bad!"

"Come on Alex, you’re so thin that I would be scared to death if you tripped because I have the feeling you would break…and that’s because of that dang rabbit food they feed you. Now you just hush, sweetheart, you’re gonna eat real food now, and you’ll be back in shape in no time. Yesiree, in no time!"

She was looking at C.D., smiling. She loved him, and loved him more when he used his best fatherly tone with her, so she failed to notice there were more people in the backyard until everybody welcomed her.

Alex immensely enjoyed the 'Welcome Back' party they’d prepared for her. She enjoyed being with friends again, and most of all she loved being outside, enjoying the warm sun. It seemed like years since she felt the sun on her face for the last time. She was seated in a comfortable chair Jimmy had put there for her, with C.D. constantly hovering over her with food and more food. Walker wasn’t far from her for more than a couple of minutes, and if he wasn’t, he was watching her all the time. She could feel it and for her it was a thought as warming as the sun. He was still worried for her, so she was determined to not let him know she was having trouble dealing with the shooting. He needed her and that was all that mattered right now.

After a couple of hours Walker noticed she was getting uncomfortable, and was immediately by her side, seated on the arm of the chair, with one hand resting loosely over her shoulder and the other holding her hand. He looked into her eyes for permission and after the unspoken discussion, he called for attention "Friends, I want to thank you for all the support you gave us these past days…and…I want for you to continue enjoying the party, but this lady needs her rest and I promised the doctor she’d do just that!"

Everybody agreed with Walker, so he took Alex in his arms, carrying her inside the house. As soon as they crossed the front door, she let out a sigh, resting her head in the hollow of his neck. "Tired?"

"Yes, a little," she said almost in a whisper.

He took her to his bedroom and sat her carefully on the bed, kneeling down in front of her so he could look into her blue eyes, one hand on her knee the other slowly caressing her cheek, just barely brushing his thumb over her mouth, as if he were trying to memorize the shape of her features, until his hand went to rest at the side of her neck. "Well, Miss Cahill ... finally you’re at home again. What would you like to wear for this "special" moment?" He read in her eyes how much she loved the way he called the ranch home for them, he didn’t remember when he started calling it that, but it felt so right.

Smiling knowingly she just started unbuttoning his shirt, much to his surprise, which made him still her hands quickly. "Alex, I don't think this is a good idea...you...me...we... uh...we promised to behave, you know...you’re not ready yet!"

She just smiled again, and loosened his grip, continuing to unbutton the shirt slowly, without breaking eye contact...and every now and then lightly rubbing his chest "inadvertently". When she reached the last one, she had seen him go from concern about her health, to disbelief of her antics, to pure desire, and when she lowered her eyes, she found him very aroused and breathing hard. She giggled then and looked again at his eyes, taking his shirt off of his shoulders and started unbuttoning hers saying huskily,
"Darling, I wasn’t planning to break our promise to the doctor...I just wanted to wear your shirt to bed." She fell back laughing hard at his bewildered expression.

He followed her positioning himself over her carefully, his face only a few inches from hers, "You’re gonna pay for this Alex!"

She continued laughing but he quickly took her mouth in his, kissing her until she forgot anything else but the kiss. When they parted he looked in her eyes and smiled knowingly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, "Hmmmm…now, are you still thinking about just wearing my shirt?"

"Huh?" Alex was trying hard to concentrate on his words, and at the same time trying to find her breath. "No! Now I’m thinking that my next check up won’t come fast enough".

They smiled looking in each other’s eyes. He kissed her tenderly while helping her to a seated position again, then leaving her mouth he kissed her nose and helped her to stand so she could undress, deciding it would be safer for them if she did it herself. Instead he got the bed ready and when he saw her starting for the bathroom he was at her side in a flash, steadying her. She was thankful and relaxed immediately, as much as she hated feeling so weak and dependant, and despite the constant pain she still was in, she enjoyed his attention. She was glad to be alive and with him, and she knew taking care of her pushed away any guilty thoughts he would have about the shooting.

After she was ready in bed he tucked her in, making sure she was warm enough, checking to make sure everything she would need would be at hand on the nightstand.

"Are you going to join me, darling?" she said sleepily.

"I’ll go to see what’s going on downstairs, I’ll be back in a minute." He tricked her, knowing she wouldn’t notice his absence since she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

"Okay,” she said in a whisper, easing her grip on his hand as she drifted off to sleep.

He went downstairs and found C.D. and Jimmy cleaning everything, all their other friends already gone. Between them they got everything cleaned in no time, then C.D. and Jimmy left, but not before C.D. made sure the refrigerator was stocked with enough food to feed an army.

After they were gone, Walker made sure the doors were locked, then went to his bedroom to check on Alex. Finding her still asleep, he went to take a shower, coming out wearing just boxers. When he reached the bed, he saw Alex was moving restlessly in bed, ‘probably dreaming’ he thought, so he joined her, laying on his side, his arm resting over her stomach, holding her, while covering her cheek with soft kisses. She calmed down little by little and when he was sure she was deeply asleep again, he joined her in dreams.

They didn’t stir all night, and when he woke he found her staring at him, with a smile on her face. "Hey beautiful! See something interesting?" he asked, kissing her softly.

"Hmmmmm...I think so!" she answered kissing him back "But I could use a better view," she giggled pulling down the covers so that his chest was exposed. He stilled her hands so she couldn’t go further, the only part of their bodies touching were their lips, as he kissed her instead.

They continued silently, staring at each other, kissing from time to time, but soon the kisses were passion filled and he wondered how he could feel so aroused when their bodies weren’t touching. When he felt his self-control shattering, he jumped out of bed with a loud moan.

Startled Alex looked at him and after finding him as aroused as she was, she sighed loudly "I guess we need to get this under control, right?"

He sighed too. "I guess so, but I wonder how!?"

"Cold shower?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

He smiled "Yes! It should help...as long as you’re not with me in the shower!"

"You’ve got it Cowboy…but only if I can have mine first!" she stated getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom as fast as she could.

He laughed happily seeing her like her old self again, ´Maybe she just needed a change of scenery, but I’m sure this is going to be two long, long weeks´, he thought and sighing went to make breakfast.

The day passed quickly, they’d done her therapy as ordered, had lunch and later a nap, cuddled together in bed. He carried her with him to the barn, keeping him company while he tended the horses. She even got a couple of phone calls from her dad, and of course from Jimmy and C.D., who’d made it a point to check on them "every 2 hours" as Walker said jokingly, and soon they were in bed again, ready to sleep for the night.

That night she was restless again, tossing and turning all the time. He tried to calm her with his touch, but this time it was useless. He was worried, wondering what he could do to help. Alex awoke feeling tired and sore, and went through the day in a daze. He asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t know, didn't remember anything from the night. The next night wasn’t any better. She woke a couple of times sweating profusely, and in pain. He tried talking to her but she just asked him for a painkiller and after it settled in her system she closed her eyes wearily, trying to catch some sleep. After three nights in a row like this Alex was a basket case, struggling to do even the small things, her body protesting the lack of sleep. And Walker was frantic with trying to figure out what was wrong, but still she didn’t remember what made her sleep so restlessly. When she asked him for pills to help her to sleep instead of ease any pain, he decided it was enough, he couldn’t let this go on further.

"Well, this isn’t too unexpected, Cordell. She has been through a lot and the stress has to get out one way or another, that I can tell you," C.D. told him the afternoon he come for a visit.

"I know C.D. She’s afraid of something, but I can’t find out what is it. She needs to deal with the problem or she won't make a full recovery.”

"Well, you know son...I’m not a big fan of those nutty doctors, all they do is talk in Chinese and tell you what you already know, but maybe you should try some professional help."

"I was thinking along those lines, but I’m going to try something else first. It’s not like Alex to keep things bottled up... and I have the feeling I have something to do with it.”

"You’ll find the way to help her, son...you will!"

"I hope so…thanks C.D."

"Thanks doctor. I will!" Walker said into the phone as Alex listened, returning from the bathroom, ready for bed. She had been crying, something as simple as going to bed was now a terrifying experience. He noticed the redness in her eyes, but said nothing. Just helped her to bed and when he was reaching over her, ready to turn out the light on her bedside, she asked "You were talking with my doctor?"

"Yes, I was asking his permission to take you out to the reservation” he said stopping midway so he can look at her.

"Shouldn’t you ask me first?" she sounded more angry that she intended to, but right now she couldn’t think clearly.

He stared at her, seeing her swollen eyes, the redness and tiredness in them and not wanting to argue with her, stated simply "Yes, but I thought there wasn’t any point in asking you first if the doctor would say no." He paused, again taking in her haggard appearance, "I’m worried about you, and maybe the old ways of my people can help...if that’s okay with you. It worked with Lucas before." His voice was barely a whisper now and when she looked in his eyes and saw tears in them too. She threw her arms around his neck, and cried until she was sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe. He talked softly to her until she got her breath back, knowing he shouldn’t panic if he wanted to help her.
When she calmed, he wiped her tears, kissing them away, and looking in her eyes asked, "Do you think you’ll be able to sleep a little?"

She shook her head ´no´, unable to find her voice.

He smiled softly "O.K. Then we can start our trip right now."

She nodded her approval this time and after kissing her reassuringly he went to get everything ready.

It was almost dawn when they reached the Reservation. Alex had slept off and on most of the time, always waking with a start. Instead of going to the town, Walker headed for another place, high up in the mountains, hoping he would find White Eagle there, letting his Cherokee sense guide him. When they couldn’t go any further with the truck, he pulled over. Alex was asleep, so he quietly scanned the place, but there were no signs of another human being for miles around. He wondered what he should do...he could carry Alex anywhere, but it wouldn’t be safe for her...what if she felt sick, or in pain? What if he tripped over something and she got hurt? He couldn’t risk that. He leaned on the wheel and sighed, trying to think a way around his problem.

He felt a hand on his shoulder coming from the opened truck window and looked up startled. There he was, White Eagle, smiling softly to him. "Washo, your heart is heavy with worry for your loved one," he said pointing to Alex, "and you came looking for my help. But you do not need me, all that you need is in both your hearts...anything else you will find on top of that ridge," he said, pointing to a walk in front of the truck that looked unused, but easy to go through.

When he looked back to say something to White Eagle, he was gone. He stared at the empty space where he should have been and then shaking his head with a smile, turned back to Alex. Going around to her side of the truck, he gently picked her up in his arms, heading for the trail.

She stirred as he started to walk with her in his arms, asking, "Did you find White Eagle?"

"You could say he found us!" still smiling at the strange ways of the old shaman, he could live a thousand years and still be in awe at the old man's powers.

"Where is he?" she asked looking around.

"He said we didn't need him, that we have everything we need in us."

Alex gave him a curious glance "And where are we going now? Seems like no one's been here in years!"

"We’ll find out together, hon," he said.

They reached the top easily...Alex never was heavy, and now she was thinner than ever...to find a breathtaking view of a canyon under them and a tepee in a little clearing, with a nice fire going.

Walker chuckled, thinking of White Eagle, "Well Alex, it seems like someone was here not so long ago after all!"

"White Eagle?" she asked.

He nodded and eased down onto a quilt near the fire. The sun was getting hot by now and the view was beautiful. After determining that she was comfortably settled, he went to grab something to eat, and they enjoyed a quiet breakfast.

Alex's mood improved during the day, she was more relaxed, completed her exercises and ate like her first day at home. He was pleased, but knew they weren’t out of the woods ... yet. The evening found them a little burnt by the sun, Alex showing some redness in her face and arms, it had been a long time ago that she had been outside that long. Walker stoked the fire and disappeared for a couple of minutes, coming back with something in his hand. It was a kind of root and after he sliced it with his pocket-knife, a thick white liquid dropped from it. He took some in his hand and began smearing it over her face. She was startled at first, but then closed her eyes, enjoying the fresh sensation it was giving her, as much as she was enjoying his touch.

"Hmmmm…darling, it feels really good!" she purred.

He continued down her neck and arms, then her bare legs, since she was wearing shorts. When he finished with her exposed parts he started unbuttoning her shirt, then tossed aside her tank top. He needed to see and feel her bare skin, not in a sexual way, but to feel indeed that she was real, that she was alive and well, so he continued caressing and covering her with the liquid. The fresh sensation in her skin, helped by the cool night air was making her shiver. He looked at her, thinking she was never more beautiful to him. She felt the same urgency he had to see and touch him...and did so, leaving him naked and completely covered with the thick white liquid, as she was. They embraced and kissed, surprised they could be that way, that close, feeling so good, so comfortable, so complete. They finally fell asleep.

After a while he felt her shaking, and thinking she was cold, he reached out to get another quilt to cover them. She stopped him, not wanting the sensations to go away.
"I’m not cold," she paused.

"Then what hon, you’re trembling."

"I’m scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes, I had another dream, but this time I remember what I dreamed about.”

"You dreamt about the shooting?" he caressed her back slowly.

"Yes," she whispered.

"But it’s over. Storm is dead. You know that. He can’t hurt you anymore."

"Yes, I know. But in my dream I wasn’t shot..."

"You weren’t?"

"No, not at first at least. I was walking to you, talking, knowing what would come, happy beyond words because I knew our life would be just perfect…and then there was a shot … and you jumped, covering me with your body." She paused, taking a deep breath. "When I finally could get out from under your body, there was so much blood on your shirt, and it wasn’t stopping." Tears came to her eyes, "I knew then you were dying. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was useless. You died in my arms, you died for me!", she was crying softly. "I wanted to die too…I stood there screaming for whatever it was to finish with me too…but it didn’t happen."

The tears continued to fall, Walker reached out to wipe them away as she continued to talk. "Then there was a second shot, this time for me," she shuddered, "but he didn’t kill me. I was lying on the ground hearing him say 'you’re gonna suffer, you’re gonna be trapped and helpless with only memories left, have a long agony, Alex Cahill'. And I saw…I felt…what life without you would be. And it was worse than my ugliest nightmare, Walker. I was trapped in my body, as if it were a shell, paralyzed, not able to walk or to speak, seeing the grief of our friends, the emptiness of your absence, feeling everything but having nowhere to run. For the first time in my entire life all I wanted was to die. I only wanted to be with you again...but nobody would help me...I felt so lonely!" she sobbed.

"Sweetheart," he whispered in her ear, kissing her ear lobe. "I can promise you nothing like that will happen. We have dealt with things like this before, and we agreed to live our lives to their fullest. No regrets. That is what you always told me. We know the risks, there’s always the possibility of something going wrong, and it scares me as much as it does you. We can’t fight that, but we can make happy memories to help us through those times, that’s what our love deserves!"

She sighed and looked in his eyes "For a man of few words, sometimes you just amaze me Cordell Walker!"

He smiled and hugged her tightly to him, this time not able to forget she was nude and in his arms. Alex went on trying to take his mind off that fact, because she was affected by his nudity too. "White Eagle was right…we don’t need anything else, but us!"

They stayed on the mountain a couple more days. Alex was enjoying the outdoors and it helped her more than anything else would be able to. Back home, the next week went by in a blur, with them having a hard time keeping their hunger for each other under control. One night Alex even started getting ready to go to her apartment, stating she was about to explode and that he wasn’t helping at all. But he didn’t want her out of his sight yet. So they compromised, she would sleep in the guest room. But, that didn’t work either, because after tossing and turning in bed trying to get comfortable, Alex ran to his room, only to find him opening the door, on his way to her. They fell into bed laughing hard, and compromised again…to help each other to behave. Walker never took so many cold showers in his entire life.

Saying they ran to her doctor’s appointment was putting it mildly. And after the doctor gave her a thorough examination and the okay to go on with her life, they were running again, much to the doctor’s amusement…back to Alex's place, since it was closer.

They didn’t get far from the door...

As they arrived at the door to her apartment, Alex fumbled through her purse for her key. Walker, impatient with the desire to bury his erection deep within her body, quickly used his own key to unlock the door. Seeing he was using his own key, Alex quit fumbling and wrapped her arms around his neck, turning his body slightly as she pressed her body against his, kissing him with abandon. Desire rising, he frantically reached behind himself to twist the door knob, causing both lovers to fall inside the doorway as the door swung open.

As they laughed at the hilarity of it, Walker wrapped his arms around Alex, moving them across the floor so he could kick the door shut behind them. Alex lifted her lips to his as the door slammed shut, devouring his lips in a hungry kiss, fingers lost in the hair at the nape of his neck as his hands reached for the hem of her skirt, bunching it up around her waist before yanking her panties off her slender body and throwing them over his shoulder.

Alex was so lost in the passionate kiss that she was unaware of Walker's actions until she felt the sweet invasion of his fingers in the hot wet center of her being. She sucked in a breath, a gasp escaping her lips as she arched her back, hips twisting against his fingers, wanting more, wanting him. "God Walker...please...I need you!" she pleads, writhing underneath him, an orgasm beginning to take root.

Withdrawing his fingers from the depths of her body to the sound of her whimpers, Walker releases the button and zipper on his jeans, shoving them over his hips as he settled himself between her open and inviting thighs, entering her with a loud guttural moan, burying his erection deep within her quivering body.

Her orgasm erupted as his thick manhood gained entrance to her heat, her hips bucking against him as she screamed with the sheer ecstasy of it. Gritting his teeth to keep from climaxing himself as the clutch and pull of her orgasm surrounded his pulsing shaft, he thrust in and out of her trembling body, prolonging her orgasm, her cries like music to his ears. He grew even longer and thicker within her as he felt her orgasm wane, and then start all over again, gaining intensity before the previous one ended. Shoving her shirt up under her arms, he moved her bra out of his way, immediately taking one flushed breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue against the already hardened nipple. Spurred on by her louder cries of pleasure, he pumped harder, faster. Gripping her bottom in his hands he pulled her heat closer, thrusting deeper, sending her over the edge instantaneously. Her cries echoed in his ears as his body stiffened over her, his hot seed spewing forcefully into her accepting body.

He collapsed onto her spent and satiated body as she began to giggle. Raising his head, Walker gives her a look, questioning why she's laughing after he's just made love to her.

"Sorry Darling," she giggled. "Look at us! We barely made it inside the front door!"

Looking down the length of their bodies he couldn't help but smile. Her shirt and bra were bunched under her arms, her breasts wet and red from his attentions, her skirt bunched around her waist and her panties were hanging from the doorknob. His own pants were still around his thighs. Looking into the twinkling blue depths of her eyes, he couldn't help but laugh too.

Looking into her eyes never failed to stir him, emotionally and physically. And to Alex's delight, she felt him harden within her. Seeing the silky smile on her face, he shrugged. "See what you do to me?" he murmured. With his hands on her thighs, he encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist. Then gathering her tightly to his body, he stood, and after kicking his jeans the rest of the way off his legs, he carried her to her bedroom. “This time, we take it slow…”

Reflections, chapter 2
by Teresa Caligaris
with a little by Jennifer

Alex’s hand sought out the arm that was holding her, then she closed her hand in a loose fist, moving it up and down, caressing him, smiling softly.

´What are you dreaming about, hon?´ Walker thought.

That simple gesture was so Alex. She had done it a thousand times before, her way to let him know she was there for him. It didn’t seem to be something you would remember, not when you’re involved with someone as affectionate as Alex. For him, it was a reminder of a special time, a turning point.

He had been in love with her since the first time he met her, and they’d had a relationship going on almost from the beginning, with ups and downs…but never too far gone even in the worst moments. They never spoke the words, just enjoyed the moments as they came and went. The turning point came when Vincent Pike changed everything for him once again.

She had been the strong one that time, he couldn’t describe it any other way. He thought about how C.D. had been beaten, and when they saw him in the hospital, C.D. had told him one of the men that had beaten him worked for Pike. He left the hospital, wanting to confront him...but Alex stopped him. What she said to him at the hospital about not turning out to be like Pike had saved him. He was ready to do something wrong, his rage getting the best of him. But the concern in her eyes as she told him so, the quiet acceptance of another of his ´unspoken´ issues, helped to hold him back, to do the right thing.

He pondered the day he visited Ellen's grave, when Alex showed up and told him what C.D. said to her. He recalled the look on her face, the sadness in those blue eyes when she confessed she was jealous of a ghost. He was thankful for her presence then, deeply touched by the unconditional love he saw in her eyes. She didn't say, "I love you" then, but what he saw in her eyes was as good as the words. He should have told her something back then, but was just too angry with the system, filled with the need to get justice for Ellen, hurt remembering all the pain again, so all he could get out then was a whispered, 'Thanks for coming here...'

Looking down at her sleeping form, he gently caressed her bare back as he thought about the conversation that day at C.D.'s, worried as he was for their safety. They talked about the threats on their lives and she'd caressed his arm in the same way she did minutes ago, Jimmy saying 'In most circles we're considered very capable of taking care of ourselves'. He remembered how he'd looked into her eyes then, finally realizing his need to put Pike back in jail was driven not only to get justice for Ellen, but for something...or someone else...too. He had remained silent then, struck by the force of his feelings, everything fading into nothing, all the ghosts surfacing again. As his hands reached to lightly comb through her soft hair, he was taken back to when they left C.D.'s that day.

**************************************

They were alone for a couple of minutes while he walked her to her car. He was desperate, thinking of a way to do what was right for her. He knew by then he had to put the ghost to rest before he could think of anything else. He wanted to made things easier for her, but nothing seemed good enough, with so much he wanted to say and do, and so little time they had. And as many times before, he decided that it should wait, promising himself this time he wouldn’t let time cool things again. They embraced and he kissed her, softly, with such care and tenderness that it left Alex trembling, not knowing what brought that to the surface. He finally let her go.

“See you later?” was her whispered question.

“Yes,” he whispered back, slowly easing his hold on her, lost in those blue eyes.

She turned then to open her car door, but he made her turn back to him again, pulling on her arm gently.

“I don’t know when that will be Alex, but we have to talk about jealousy and ghosts…”

She was surprised, she certainly wasn’t expecting something like this. After several seconds of just staring at him, her reaction was to answer back “And maybe love…?”

Now he was the one surprised, things were going further than he pretended for now, but he quickly recovered adding with an unreadable expression “And love.”

Alex started breathing again. She had held her breath immediately after asking the question, afraid to hear the answer, but needing to know. ´At least he accepted talking about it! Maybe there’s still hope for you Alex Cahill...´ “See you, Walker,” she said with a little smile on her lips, getting into her car.

“See you later, Alex,” he said smiling back, closing the door.

Walker sighed as he thought back to the goon that had hurt Trivette, and how he'd gone to Pike's house, beating him, but not killing him. He gazed down at his wife again as he continued to gently stroke her hair, his other hand laying warmly, possessively, on her bare back. He thought back to what happened after Pike was put in jail.
As soon as Pike was in jail again he had called Alex at her office.

“Alex Cahill.”

“It’s me…it’s over Alex." His voice sounded different to her, still as sad as it was in the last few days, but there was something else too she couldn’t quite put her finger on. "We’ve got him.”

“I know. I’m working on the indictments right now." She paused, her need to protect him as strong as his need to protect her. "He’s not going to get out again Walker, not in this lifetime.”

What she meant was ´He’s not going to hurt you again, not if I have something to say about it´. Instead she didn’t say that, feeling she had no right to express her love now that his scars were open again. She thought of his promise since he’d said it, and the more she thought about it, the more afraid of losing him she became.
They were more than friends, and just a couple of days ago she was quite sure he loved her. She felt that love whenever they made love, but now…now all she could hear is C.D. speaking of Ellen, about how special she was for Cordell, about what a special woman she was even for him. She could see the broken glass, the blood and the pain he had had in his eyes. The way he was frantic seeking revenge. His defeated stance while he was at her grave. All that only comes from a deep, strong love and she wasn’t sure she could compete with that.

She sighed ´Seems like I came into your life too late, Cowboy. I wonder if I would have had a chance with you if we’d met before Ellen´. Tears filled her eyes and she didn’t bother to wipe them away.

His mind was running fast too, thinking of the best way to tell her about Ellen, about his life with her and about his feelings. It wouldn’t be easy for him, but Alex deserved that and more, and her silence was telling him she was doubting his love. She had reasons to think that and he knew it had to hurt like hell. He’d make that right. After a couple of moments of silence, he asked softly “Can you leave work for the rest of the day?”

“I don’t think that would be a problem…as soon as I finish with these papers. ” She tried to sound business like.

“Well, why you don’t call me at the ranch when you’re done and I’ll pick you up at your apartment?” He realized he probably sounded a little commanding, his anxiety getting in the way. “I mean…if that’s okay with you,” his voice a little insecure now.

“That's fine, I’ll call you in a little while…”

Hanging up the phone she rubbed her forehead with heavy hands, leaning her head to rest in them … ´Whoa! He wasn’t kidding about the talk we need to have´. She was really worried now. ´He seems to be in a hurry to talk to me…Oh, God, it can’t be good´. Then realizing she was probably overreacting, ´Stop that Alex, you’re not going anywhere that way´, and then sighing ´the sooner you face the truth the better, so let’s finish here´. With a determined look she went back to work.

He was at her door in no time after her call.

“Hi, Cowboy,” she greeted him. "You must have a quick horse since you made it that fast,” joking as a way to ease her fears and to make her voice sound normal.

For an answer he leaned over and kissed her cheek, which only reinforced Alex´s fears. ´Definitely not a good sign. God, what am I going to do? I love him so much!´

“Ready?”

“Yes, just let me get my purse.” She now sounded defeated.

After she got her purse, he took her hand, guiding her to the Ram, and they drove in silence, Alex noticing they were going to Ellen’s grave. She was more confused now… ´Don’t do this to me Walker, please, don’t do this to me…I don’t need to hear how much you loved her, how much you still love her´, her hands trembling and her heart beating furiously as if it was going to explode from sorrow.

He pulled up near the grave and went to open her door.

“Are you sure you want me here? I can wait here as well,” she asked looking frantic for a way out so she wouldn't show her pain.

“Yes, I want you here.” Looking in her eyes,“ I need you here.”

´He needs me? He needs me!?´ With just that fact in mind she forgot everything else, ready to go anywhere with him, her sensibility on the surface after the last days events, making her move back and forth between fear and hope, making feel her unsure of everything. They probably weren’t meant to be, but she would be there for him anytime, no matter what.

So she stood behind him while he said his final goodbye to Ellen, she saw him leaving their last memories at her grave.

She came closer then. “Could we finish that talk we started about love…and ghosts…and jealousy,” she asked softly. She was determined to know if she had a chance. If she did, she would wait forever. If not…she would leave quietly, but not before she was sure he was okay.

“Sure,” he said, slipping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her back to the Ram.

They drove in silence, Alex guessing that they were heading to the ranch. But he drove in a different direction, and she was surprised when they stopped at the Hyatt Regency at Reunion Plaza. Stopping at the valet, he moved to her side to help her out, then led her to the front desk where he asked for the suite he had reserved earlier.

“Walker! I thought we were going to the ranch!”

“I promised you a talk …and I don’t want anything interrupting us.” He put his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest, enjoying her soft scent, memorizing the feel of her in his arms. “Not until I’ve told you everything.”

Speechless she followed him to the elevators and then to their room. Once they were in the room, she was unsure of what to do. They'd had a couple of dates ending up at hotel rooms, but back then they’d had other things in mind than talking.

Taking off his jacket, he laid it on the bed and asked if she wanted something to eat or drink, trying to make her comfortable.

"No” she said, walking toward the small table, putting her purse down on it. She was too nervous to feel hungry or thirsty, and she sat in the chair next to the large window that looked out over downtown Dallas, unsure if her legs would hold her once he started to talk. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, as if that way she could maintain her composure.

He went to stand by the big window, looking out at the city, trying to find the best way to start. ´Don’t keep her wondering, she suffered enough all this time…she deserves better´. He turned to her suddenly and sat himself on the low table in front of her, taking both her hands in his, locking eyes with her.

Taking a deep breath, he began. “Alex, I want to thank you for being with me, supporting me, over the last several days. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” He paused, not because he was unsure of what to say, he’d never been more sure of anything in his entire life, but because he wanted to do it right. “I know we have had something going on the last few years…a relationship…more than friends…and we’re both comfortable with it…”

And now comes the part when he says ´You were a terrific friend and I’ll be always thankful for that but…´she thought, tears filling her eyes.

“But what happened," he looked out the window while choosing his words, "It makes me realize that I was wrong about my life, being there for you, but not completely, only committed to my work." He paused again, taking another deep breath, "I loved Ellen. I will always love her.”

´Here it goes.´ She closed her eyes trying to be ready for the pain she knew would come.

“But Alex…what we have is not like what I had with Ellen. Damn, I don’t know if I’m saying this right, you deserve far more than I’m giving you.”

´No! Don’t say it!´ she screamed to herself.

´Just say it!´ he thought finding it hard to breathe, wondering if she would accept his feelings. After all, he never asked her. “Open your eyes, Alex. I need for you to look at me, sweetheart.”

She complied quickly, curious about the tender tone he used, ´Sweetheart?’

“Our love deserves more than I was giving to it,” he whispered.

She must have been dreaming…surely she'd gone crazy. Did she really hear him correctly? ´Our love?´

“When we were at C.D.’s, talking about what happened to C.D., you must have thought I was silent because he killed Ellen and was back threatening my friends, but…you know why I was so silent?”

She nodded giving him a silent ´go on´.

“I realized that I had been running, trying to catch that bastard Pike, not just because of Ellen's memory, but because I had an overwhelming need to protect you, at any cost.” He paused, making sure he held her gaze, “Because I love you more than life itself, in a way as deep and as strong as I’ve never experienced before.”

She thought she must have died and go to heaven. ´He loves me´, she was breathing fast now.

“I love you Alex, more than anything, more than anyone. I was a fool not to say it sooner…”

She was looking at him with wide bewildered eyes, tears running unchecked down her face, mouth open. 'HE LOVES ME!" she screamed to herself.

The next thing he remembers is Alex jumping into his lap, straddling him, arms around his neck, her mouth kissing him as if there were no tomorrow. And then, when they had to came up for air, she continued kissing him, covering his face, and in between kisses saying “I love you…I love you…I love you…I love you…” over and over again before hugging him tightly to her body.

He smiled, eyes full of love, tears in his eyes. He loved this feisty woman and loved her antics even more. Cupping the back of her head in his hand, he pulled her head back gently, just to give him enough room to kiss her again, this time his tongue working its way into her mouth, expressing what words can’t express enough…

As the kiss grew in intensity, Walker stood up with her in his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. She kicked her shoes off as he moved quickly to the bed, gently laying her down in the middle, coming down half on top of her, half beside her. Wrapping his arms around her, he resumed kissing her luscious lips. Her hands buried themselves in his hair as one of his hands moved down her back to her buttocks, cupping them, pulling her against his growing arousal.
Alex moaned as she felt his erection, instantly feeling a gush of wetness soak her pantyhose, her body humming with arousal. Needing to feel his bare chest, Alex pulled his shirt from his pants, working the buttons in quick order. Sighing softly she caressed his chest with abandon, leaning forward slightly to place tender kisses on every inch of bare skin she could find.

With his erection now straining to be unleashed, he slipped her jacket from her shoulders, unbuttoning and then removing her shirt. Reaching behind her, he slipped open the button on her skirt, unzipping, then locking eyes with her, lowered her skirt over her hips and down. Reaching behind her, he slipped the catch on her bra, slowly slipping it off her arms, his eyes glued to the soft round globes before him. He slipped off his shirt before moving over her body, sending her back against the pillows as he moved over her. Bracing himself with a trembling arm on either side of her body he bent down to touch his tongue to one rosy nipple, drawing a soft whimper from her. With a low moan he took her whole breast, sucking it inside the wet warmth of his mouth. He purred like a contented cat as he devoured her taste, moving to equally taste and devour the other soft breast.

Leaving her breast to take her lips with all the love he felt for her, he moved further up her body. As the kiss wore on, Alex reached for the belt on his pants. Lowering the zipper, she reached inside his briefs to release his pulsing hardness, bringing a moan from his lips at the warm contact of her hand on his member.

It was her turn to moan as he ground his hips against hers, feeling the heat emanating from her center against his shaft. She whimpered when she felt the pearly drops oozing from the engorged head, her hips bucking against him of their own accord.

Walker stood and removed his pants and briefs, then bent over Alex once more, his hands slipping inside the waistband of her pantyhose. Locking gazes with her once again, he removed the only barrier still between them, slowly lowering the pantyhose down her legs. Depositing them on the floor with the rest of their clothing, he again moved over her, this time leaving no space between them.

The heat and power of his naked chest pressed down on her, and her breasts tightened at the contact. Fire was burning through her, the same fire he had ignited so many times before, and she moved urgently against him in search of relief. He began to caress her, his hands moving down her body, her thighs opening eagerly to his touch. His touch was light at first, no more than a gentle caress, but soon his fingers sought out and concentrated on her most sensitive spot. That wonderful tension began building in her, and she whimpered. Then his fingers slid into her and she cried out, her hips lifting from the bed. She felt the wetness between her legs and didn't care. Walker forced her head back with a kiss so hard and deep it bruised her lips, and she didn't care about that either. All she cared about was him, feeling him inside her, feeling his love. She clutched his bare, damp shoulders and moved against him.

Stifling a moan of agonized arousal, Walker spread her thighs wider and slid his hips into that cradle, gritting his teeth against the surge of heat coursing through his body as his pulsing shaft touched her. Alex went still with anticipation as he positioned the thick head of his shaft and then held her head framed between his hands, their gazes locked as he slowly pushed into her.

Buried deep within her body, to the hilt, he stops, savoring the feeling of her tight heat surrounding him. She begins to whimper more, wanting to feel him moving within her. Thrusting her hips up against him, she spurs him on and he begins to move…moving his hips in a slow rolling motion, in and out…in and out…enjoying the feel of her inner muscles clinging to him, slick and hot.

Their bodies move slowly as one, each enjoying the sensations rolling through their bodies, loving the feel of becoming one again after the events of the past week, each not wanting it to end. But soon the desire to seek fulfillment of their desire is more than they can stand. Alex wraps her legs around his waist and he grabs her thighs, pushing them higher up his body as he picks up the pace, angling his body such that the base of his shaft rubbed against her, increasing her pleasure. Her hips moved in perfect cadence with his and when he felt her begin to stiffen, her muscles contract in climax, he gave one last strong thrust, shuddering over her as he came, her name a moan on his lips.

Alex opened her arms to him as he collapsed, utterly spent and satiated, onto her glistening body. When their pounding hearts slowed, he withdrew and rolled, tucking her into his side, their arms still enfolding each other, her head on his shoulder. Neither spoke for a while, they simply savored the love flowing between them.

Finally, turning his head, Walker looked out the window. It was dark now, the lights of the city spread out below them. Turning back to her, “Alex,” he murmured, "Come look." He slid from the bed taking her hand, and led her to the window.

Walker stood behind her and slid his arms around her nude body as she sucked in her breath, in awe at the view outside the window. "Oh Walker, the view is absolutely beautiful!" she breathed, clutching the arms that surrounded her.

His lips on the top of her head, he murmured, "That’s why I chose this hotel. I wanted to show you this magnificent view."

She turned in his arms, smiling up at him, her arms around his neck. She teased, "Oh, and you've been up here before with someone?"

He grinned. "No…but Trivette has!" He chuckled, "He's the one that told me about it. He uh...he said I should bring you here sometime."

"Well," she drawled, "I'll have to thank him for that." Lifting her lips to his, she kissed him soundly, then turned back around in his arms to enjoy the view some more. But the kiss lit a fire in Walker and his hands soon began to wander over her body, igniting the same fire in her. And standing there before the window, the view of the city of Dallas below them, Walker made love to her again.

***************************

Reflections, chapter 3
by Teresa Caligaris
with a little by Jennifer

***********
He started to smile, thinking about the way she called him “Walker” in front of people even now that they were married, and with tender names when they were alone. She did call him “Cowboy” too, and he loved that even when it was accompanied with adjectives like “crazy” or “stubborn”, ´Not that I would let you know that, hon´.
He was a stubborn man, and proud also, but he promised not to let his stubborn side get between them, not since the last time he’d let that side of him hurt Alex. He kissed the top of her head, running one finger over each of hers that were sprawled possessively over his chest, outlining them tenderly and losing himself in the memory as he did so.

***********************

It was the morning after his first night at home after being blinded by a bomb blast. He had sent Alex home, at least he thought she had gone home. And there he was, standing in the bathroom, helpless in front of a mirror he couldn't see, after he trashed half of the house, in part because of his clumsiness, but mostly because of the anger he was feeling at that moment, because he couldn't cope with his situation.

Then he heard running steps...her steps. He felt her stop at the door, sensed her hesitation and after just a second, her soft hand on his arm, her voice "Here, let me put your eye drops in for you." And leading him back, "Sit right here.” She finished with the drops and he remained seated and silent. She ran her hand up and down his arm "What do you want to do now, Walker?"

´Funny´ he thought, ´as if I could do something more than trip and break everything´. She sensed what was in his mind and was determined not to let him get that way, she needed to be strong, giving him space. "Well, I have some cleaning to do…let me know what you want to do. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.”

Her voice was flat and that snapped him out of his self-pity state. He grasped her arm firmly not letting her go, then reached with his free hand to touch her face softly, he sought her lips first and then ran his fingers all over her face, seeing her with them, sensing she was worried for him. Her lips quivered under his touch and as he reached her eyes he noticed they were puffy and wet. He recalled her words from last night ‘It’s just your stubborn pride!’ and how they parted. He knew by now she hadn't left him, she’d stayed there, on the porch or in her car, he wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter now, but she didn’t leave him. Suddenly he found it hard to breathe, he had done it again, he’d hurt her yet again even when he didn’t want to. "Apologize," he said suddenly.

"Apologize?" she didn’t understand at first.

"I know what I want to do right now. Apologize. I…I’m sorry Alex,” he said, sighing deeply. "I shut you out, even knowing I was dead wrong…I hurt you again."

Alex was trying hard not to cry, "Walker, I told you terrible things too.”

"No, no, you…let me tell you…I can’t fix what I already did, but at least you have the right to know…that you were right in most of the things you told me last night...about it being because of my stubborn pride. My pride made you sleep outside the house…” He paused, "Alex, where did you sleep?"

"In the car," Alex said softly.

He cringed inwardly. "Because of my pride I couldn’t ask you to come back," he paused, "But it wasn’t my pride that made me ask you to leave last night,” he swallowed hard. "I was scared Alex…I was scared to death and I took it out on you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Alex couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She reached out to touch his face. She knew what it took for him to admit to anyone that he was scared. In fact she’d never heard him say that word referring to himself. He murmured, "I didn’t want you seeing me like that.”

"But darling, you know that wouldn’t make any difference to me, don’t you? That you can share anything with me...good or bad.” She was stroking his beard and he sighed deeply trying to get rid of the heaviness he was feeling in his chest.

"I know, Alex. Still…you know it’s hard for me to do that, and most of the time I’ll need to sort things out by myself before I can share them with you" he told her softly. "I don’t have a way with words like you have, but I guess even if I have it in me, there wouldn’t be enough good words to express...how much...I love you," he ended in a whisper.

Her hand froze on his face, she felt like there was no more air in the room, her heart almost bursting with love and all she could do was hug him, pressing herself hard against him, burying her face against his neck. Now she was the one that couldn’t find the right words. He hugged her back as tight as he could, feeling her tears on his neck.

He cried too, wondering how he could have been so selfish and stupid to feel there wasn't
anything else for him when there was a woman like her waiting for him. He has to go through this, if not for him, then just because of her. He pulled her face back a little, seeking her lips, tasting her tears, now mingled with his, and he kissed her with tenderness for as long as they could go without a breath. When they parted he reached for her face again, he needed to "see" if she understood…and he found nothing but love.
He took her hands, stood and gently guided her to his bedroom. He needed to show her how he felt.

Once inside his bedroom he reaches for her sweater, slipping it from her shoulders. With whisper like touches, he trails his fingers over her face, finally settling on her lips. He runs his fingers over her lush lips, then leans in and kisses her, his tongue tracing the path over the lips that his fingers had taken. With a whimper she parts her lips, and his tongue slips inside the warm sweet cavern. The kiss grows in intensity as his hands reach for her waist, then slip under her pullover sweater, wanting to feel her bare skin. Breathing heavily now, he caresses the warm skin of her back, finally pushing the sweater up and over her head, bringing his hands around to cup her lace covered breasts, his thumb rubbing circles over her nipples, bringing them instantly to hardened peaks. His fingers touch the center of her bra, between her breasts, trying to detect a fastening. Not finding one, his hands drift to her back, deftly unhooking the clasp. Alex moans softly when his hands move back to close warmly over her breasts, cupping them, feeling their weight in his hands, feeling with his hands what his unseeing eyes already know.

Walker's heart is beating wildly, his manhood rising and hardening as his hands caress her breasts. Needing to taste what his hands are touching, he dips his head to capture a swollen breast in his hot wet mouth. Alex utters a soft cry as his mouth closes around her breast, sucking it in deeply as his tongue flicks the nipple. Her body reacts to his pleasurable assault on her senses, she quivers, her breathing accelerated, growing more wet with each passing moment. Moments later he releases her breast, only to take the other into his mouth, paying it equal loving attention.

Alex is mindless with desire, mindless with need. Bracing her hands on either side of his head she brings his head up, claiming his lips in an enthusiastic kiss as her hands then tangle in his hair. Pressing her body against his, grinding her hips against his growing arousal, her hands move to the buttons on his shirt. Within seconds his shirt is pushed off his shoulders and he moans loudly when her hand closes over his now rock hard erection. When her hands move upward to the button on his pants he brushes her hands away.

Walker moves her gently backward, and sensing what he wants, Alex backs up, taking him with her, until the back of her legs touch the bed. Kissing her again, he unbuttons her slacks and lowers the zipper. His lips leave her mouth and blaze a hot trail down her neck, down the valley between her breasts, down her flat stomach to dip into her belly button. His hand lowers her slacks, leaving them to pool at her feet before she kicks them away. Kneeling in front of her, hands on her narrow hips, he leans his head against her belly, trying to control the overwhelming need to take her right then. His manhood, hard as steel, is pulsing, throbbing, the need to be buried inside her tight warmth has him breathing hard.

Hands trembling, he hooks his fingers in the waistband and slowly lowers her panties. His hands softly touch her, his fingers tangling in the soft dark blonde hair at the juncture of her thighs that he knows so well, and lower as she sucks in air. He explores the folds that shield her femininity, lightly caressing, then opening. She’s felt his touch there many times before, but still she gasps at his touch and his heart beats wildly when he finds her already wet and ready for him.

Gently he pushes her down until she is sitting on the bed and he is between her legs. Caressing her thighs, he leans forward, kissing her mound. When his fingers open her again and his tongue tastes the wetness, Alex moans loudly, lying back on the bed, her legs opening wider, giving him easier access to her now throbbing center. Her moans turn to whimpers as his tongue spears her, then glides over the sensitive bud of arousal, spears her again, glides over the bud…again and again. She cries out when her climax hits her, her body arching up off the bed. Finally giving in to the urge to bury himself deep within her, he moves up over her trembling body, enters her, thrusting in until he's buried to the hilt, feeling her inner muscles contract against his shaft. Pulling back, he moves almost completely out, before thrusting back inside again. The feel of her tightness enveloping him is so exquisite he withdraws slowly moving slowly back inside again and again.

He repeats this action several times until she wraps her legs around his waist, lifting her hips to meet his thrust. "Walker, please!" she moans, needing more of that sweet release. Hearing the thick passion in her voice, he is unable to hold back any longer. Walker's hips begin pumping in a quick and powerful rhythm. Sliding his hands under her body, he grips her buttocks in his hands, bringing her even closer as he moves above her.

She cries out at the deeper thrusts, her climax pounding furiously to the surface. Feeling the spasms of her inner muscles brings on his climactic release. His heart slamming inside his chest, he collapses onto Alex's spent body, feeling the pounding of her runaway heart. He moves to the side when he slips free of her body, gathering her into his arms. They lie in a heap of naked tangled limbs in contented silence until the rumble of Walker's stomach signals his need for breakfast.

Walker laughs. "I tried to make breakfast earlier, but I'm afraid I made a mess downstairs."

Alex leans up on her elbow and gazes down at him. His unseeing eyes are closed. "Why don't I help you put the bandages back on your eyes, then I'll fix us some breakfast. My turn to cook anyway."

"Sounds like a plan," he smiles.

During breakfast Walker talked to Alex about his plans. He wanted to be alone in the house, to try to get used to his blindness, he needed to be moving around by himself. He made sure to let her know he wasn’t pushing her out, but trying to prove he could still be useful. Alex protested a little but knew it was of no use, so she gave in, leaving him after making sure everything was in place and he had a mental image of where everything was in the house.

The next days proved to be challenging for them both, for him because he needed to deal with darkness and demons, for her because she couldn’t be with him to protect him as her heart wished. But even in the lowest point of his ordeal, when he was thinking of quitting the Rangers, he never doubted Alex's role in his life, what she meant to him.

She fell silent after he told her about quitting the Rangers, he could feel she was just moving the food around, not eating anymore. "Alex, you know that’s something I should start thinking about."

"Maybe…but I can’t help but wonder if the next thing you’ll be quitting is us.” She sounded angry.

He never meant that, but he understood how she felt, since she knew being a Ranger was a big part of his life. "That thought never crossed my mind."

"Well…it’s just a matter of time before you start thinking that way.”

"Alex, no!" he let out in a desperate tone. "I won’t lie to you. I want you to have a life as happy as you deserve, I would do anything in my power to give you that, even if that meant I had to let you go.”

She was fighting tears by now, fear gripping her stomach, making her dizzy. ´This couldn’t be happening. He’s going to tell me we can’t be together. I won’t let you do that Walker!´ But she couldn’t speak, she just closed her eyes waiting for his next words, hoping she was wrong, not sure if she could continue being strong.

"I know you think being a Ranger is the most important thing to me...but that’s not true. I've known that for a long time, since I admitted my feelings for you to myself, and I won’t let you out of my life without fighting for you as if my life depends on it. There couldn’t be much of a life for me if you weren’t in it."

She opened her eyes as his words hit her. Happy beyond words, she took his hand and gripped it tightly, leaning in to him to kiss him softly on the lips, smiling as she did so, determined to not cry again.

He went on, "I need to think about what my life would be if I can’t see anymore. This may be silly, but I need to do that."

"Okay," she swallowed hard, feeling the lump in her throat easing a little. "But promise me you won’t make any decisions right now."

"I promise! Now…you don’t want to make me feel bad, right?" She looked puzzled not knowing were he was going with that. "Because it took me 3 hours to make dinner and you barely touched it," he finished grinning.

"Well ... I’ll sacrifice myself just to make you happy, darling! Let’s eat!" she answered matching his playful tone.

"Sacrifice, huh? You’re going to do the dishes for that Alex!"


Reflections, chapter 4
by Teresa Caligaris
with a little by Jennifer

************************************

He thought sadly, ´Seems I made you cry quite a few times, hon´ but then he remembered all the happy moments they shared together, even after the hard times they’ve been through, they found time to be happy, to live life to its fullest. He looked outside through the partially open curtains and saw the first rays of the sun showing. He hadn’t slept all night, lost in thoughts, and in Alex. Then he remembered another night like this one, one that started different, but ended in the most incredible way.

************************************

He’d left her at C.D.’s because of a bank robbery call, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. He was teasing her, pretending he was clueless about what he had said on the plane before they were shot down, but he went too far and before he could make everything right, he had run out, and things were left unsaid in the worst way. Now Alex would be feeling like he didn’t want to marry her.

As soon as he and Trivette were done with the robbery, he rushed back to C.D.’s, with Jimmy wondering what was the matter to be in such a hurry. But, noticing the worried face on his partner, he didn’t ask questions. Walker stepped inside C.D.'s, looking around with the hope that she would still be there, he didn’t want this to go on a second longer, he needed to explain it to her.

C.D. looked at him with an angry face "Cordell, son, I hope you know what you did to that young lady.”

He cut off his words, "I know, C.D., and I’m sorry, but I need to explain that to her. Where is she? I need to fix this, the sooner the better."

C.D. smiled, relieved. He knew he was right when he told Alex, Walker loved her more than life itself, and that it was just a case of bad timing. Cordell would find the way to make things right. "She went to court, she had a meeting with her boss there, said she’ll be busy until 5 or so.”

Walker stood there pensive, with Jimmy by his side with a confused look since he hadn't seen Walker's discussion with Alex. But Walker’s expression warned him not to ask. Then suddenly Walker said "I gotta go, I have to do a lot of things in order to have everything ready by 6!" He turned to Jimmy, "See you tomorrow Trivette, I hope you don’t mind covering for me all afternoon." And with that said he ran out. "Thanks C.D.!" he yelled from the door.

Both men were astonished and burst out laughing when C.D. called out, "Call when you find the fire son!" and then chuckled in a lower voice "Because I’m sure that little lady is going to be very hot when she sees him."

At 5:00 Alex was going down the courthouse steps and saw the familiar Ram parked at the curb. She couldn’t see the drivers seat and she didn’t know if Walker was there because of business or waiting for her, so she approached the passenger side, only to find the truck empty, but the passenger window open.

Puzzled she stepped forward to take a look inside the cab when she heard the voice of one of the policemen in service there, "Miss Cahill, Ranger Walker asked for you to take a look at the passenger seat.”

She thanked him and opened the door to find a delicate bouquet of bluebonnets and a note:

"We need to talk and I want you to be sure I won’t
run off anywhere. You already have my truck. Please,
come to Uncle Ray’s cabin. No radio, no phone. Guaranteed.

Walker.

P.S. These flowers always remind me of your eyes.
Please hurry, because I’m surrounded by them and  missing you already".

She smiled, noticing the key already in the ignition, waiting for her. She was tired and still a little upset with him, not that she could stay upset at him for too long, but he had gone a little too far this time. However, she thought, ´I wouldn’t miss this for anything in the world, what he has in store for me tonight...whatever it is´. She knew she had over an hours drive to Uncle Ray’s place, but she wanted to make him sweat a little first, so she went to her place for a shower and a change of clothes and then headed out to find him.

At 7:30 Alex arrived at the cabin, dressed in jeans and a bright yellow blouse. She found the front door open and peeking through the screen door she saw the front room was empty, but there were more bluebonnets in a vase with a note attached. Stepping inside the cabin, she went immediately to the vase, picking up the note.

“Follow the lanterns starting from the back door. They will lead you to a bright place with a fire that will burn forever for you"

Alex smiled. He sure was something else when he got in the romantic mood.

Walker was nervous, wondering if she would come, when he heard the sound of the truck engine coming closer. Again he checked to make sure everything was ready…and feeling pleased with what he saw, he stood there waiting.

Alex was at the back door in a heart beat, finding a pathway signaled at both sides with lanterns that added brightness to the moonlight shining that night, creating warmth with the flickering of their candles. She followed the path heading to the lake, realizing she was heading to the hollow they used as a swimming place...and she was speechless the moment she reached the small clearing were they used to sit. The hollow was covered with at least a hundred floating candles, moving with the breeze, glowing all around, and the ground was covered with bluebonnet petals. And in the middle of all this was set a table for two, and Walker standing there waiting for her.
With the breeze blowing, Walker was able to smell her perfume before she stepped into the clearing, turning in time to see the vision of loveliness appear from the stand of trees. He watched silently as she gazed about, taking everything in. Moving to a chair, he pulled it out for her, and taking her cue, she walked to him, sitting down in the proferred chair. Lifting the bottle of wine, he poured them both a glass, then kissed her tenderly as he handed hers to her. Waiting until she sipped her wine, he kissed her again, tasting the wine on her lips.

"Oh Walker, I…I'm speechless," she breathed as he took his seat next to her. "This is absolutely beautiful!"

"Beautiful things for a beautiful lady," he murmured in reply, gazing at her lovely face as she smiled with utter rapture, her blue eyes watery with emotion.

A couple of minutes passed with both looking deeply into each other eyes. Walker wanted to tell her right then everything that was on his mind and in his heart, but debated if it should wait until after dinner or start right now. He wanted to do it perfectly.

Alex was aware of his dilemma, and she was well aware that even after all they’d gone through together, he still had a hard time telling her about his feelings. But tonight she wasn't mad or hurt about it, at least not anymore. His effort with romance this evening caused her to forget her anger instantly. How could she be mad at him when she loves him so much? But she wasn’t ready to give up yet. ´I’ll make you sweat a little, Cowboy'. She chuckled then at her second thought ´Or maybe a lot…after dinner!´

She gave him a way out, asking casually “What’s on the menu for tonight, darling?”

Taken by surprise he stammered, “Uh, oh…well…some cheese and crackers to start, then for the main course shrimp pasta…and for dessert…”

“You?” she asked with a mischievous smile lighting her face.

“Alex!” he chided in a mock-aggravated tone that soon changed to a low sexy note…
“I’m not on the menu…but of course, you can always talk to the chef for a change,” he added wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. By now she was laughing loudly and he was enjoying that immensely. He loved the sound of her laughter.

They ate making small talk about nothing and everything, both feeling relaxed and at ease, as always when they were together. The pasta almost finished, Alex reached for her glass of wine and took a sip, leaving her lips wet, a small drop perched precariously on her bottom lip. Unable to help himself after waiting all night, Walker leaned over and kissed her sweetly, licking the remaining wine from her lips.

Moving back to look at her face, taking her hand at the same time and squeezing it lightly, he was ready to start talking. It was the right time. "Alex, about today..."

“What…?” She questioned, opening the eyes she’d closed to enjoy his kiss to the fullest, looking him straight in the eyes.

“About our marriage…”

“Yes…?”

“By now you must be thinking I don’t care about it…and you have every right to think that, because I made a fool of myself today…and in doing that, I hurt you."

She set her wine glass down. “Darling… it’s not important anymore. I know how you feel about me…and that’s the only thing that matters.” She kissed him softly, “You've shown me your love in many ways in the past, and you did it again tonight," she paused, indicating all that was around them, "...with all this."

“I know that, but I can’t help but wonder how long you would put up with my foolishness, with my selfishness.”

“Selfishness…? What does that have to do with what happened today?”

“What happened today was a bad joke gone ugly, and I’m really sorry for that… but you know I think everything happens for a reason, and while I was waiting for you I did a lot of thinking, and found the reason for my stupidity…" he bowed his head, as if ashamed, "…at least the part of it that made me act that way on the plane and today."

“You’re scared of losing me?” she quickly let out, immediately regretting her interruption.

He smiled, “I won’t tell you that thought didn’t cross my mind from time to time, but hon, by now, I have accepted the fact that I indeed can lose you, as much as you could lose me, and if you’re brave enough to take the chance for both of us as you did in the past, as you do every day, I can’t let you down...and have to be strong too.”

He paused, taking her face in his hands and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. “I was scared … about losing C.D.…and the only time when I feel safe and not scared, is when I'm with you…when we’re together.”

Alex was holding her breath not wanting to interrupt him for anything in the world, she knew this was one of those rare moments when he was vulnerable, and she was allowed to see him like that.

“So, at that moment, all I wanted was to be sure you’d be by my side all the time, and I thought we needed to get married for that." He paused, “After we were back to normal I thought there was no need to rush things, since we already have a full life as a couple, you’re by my side forever...and papers or not, that won’t change. I also thought you wanted a big wedding and I wanted you to have it...and right now that’s impossible with our work schedules and commitments. I even thought about asking you to move in with me at the ranch right now..." his voice lowered to a whisper, "...but instead of telling you about that, I gave you that ugly joke instead…and in all that I was just thinking about me...and I didn't think about what you would be feeling. I’m sorry hon, I’m really sorry!”
“You don’t have to be…I’m sorry too…for pushing too hard on the marriage thing. While I was listening to you, I realized you said something I missed all this time. We don’t need papers, promises, or to share a house to be together or to have a happy life as a couple. That’s something we already have.” Pausing to catch her breath, she went on, "I want a big wedding, darling. I want to share our happiness with our friends. I want to show everybody how much I love you. I want to say ´I do´ and have the world as witness …but between us that’s not important. I said my vows to you a long time ago, and I do everyday… so if we have to wait, that’s what we'll do.”

Taking her beautiful face between his hands, he rained little butterfly kisses over her face, covering every inch of it, whispering words of love between them. "Do you want dessert now?” he whispered, his mouth closer her ear.

“Later …I have to talk to the chef to change the dessert menu now.”

He chuckled, “How do you know you won’t like it? I never told you what it would be.”

She answered in a husky voice “I don’t care, I don’t know what’s on the menu. All I know is what I want for dessert tonight!”
Standing up, Walker took her hand and leading her to the lush grass at the water's edge, he sat down, pulling her down into his lap. His arms surrounded her, pulling her into the warm cocoon of his embrace. She sighed contentedly as she laid her head back against his shoulder, clasping her hands over the strong arms that held her. Walker turned his head slightly, his lips turning up in a smile as he watched her lovely face gaze at the stars in the heavens. Her blue eyes twinkled, her lips curved in a smile...happiness was so evident in her features. "I love you," he breathed softly.
She turned her head on his shoulder, lifting her lips to his as his lips descended to hers. He brushed her warm lips lightly, then applied a little more pressure, then a little more until a soft whimper broke from her lips, stirring his arousal. Separating her lips with his tongue, he delved inside the sweet warmth of her mouth, deepening the kiss as he gently laid her back in the lush green grass.
Pulling her shirt from her jeans, his hand slipped underneath to settle on the warm bare skin of her waist, while his other hand tangled in her soft blonde tresses. Breathing heavily, they separated, only to come together again for another passion filled kiss. Walker's hand drifts to the buttons on her shirt, releasing them one by one. Breaking off the kiss, he sits up, and reaching out, he separates the yellow material of her shirt. A smile lifts the corners of his mouth when he sees that she's wearing the bra he likes most...a sheer white lacy number with a front clasp, her nipples clearly visible through the lacy material. He sucks in a breath as he watches her nipples harden to peaks and her breasts swell under his intense gaze, filling out the cups even more. Breathing heavily again, he reaches out with two fingers and opens the clasp with a practiced ease. Slowly, reverently, he peels the cups from her soft rounded mounds of flesh, blowing out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as he gently cups her breasts, feeling their weight in his hands. Pulling her body up slightly, he slips the shirt and bra from her body, then laying her back down, unbuttons and unzips her jeans. She raises her hips as he draws her jeans and panties over her narrow hips and down her legs, removing them with her shoes and socks. Standing up, he devours her naked body with his eyes as he divested himself of his shirt, pants and briefs. Naked now himself, he continues to stare at her nude body, bathed in the glow of the moonlight, his erect manhood jutting proudly from the apex of his thighs. Her breathing is escalated as she watches him watching her. Unconsciously she licks her lips when she sees pearly drops at the tip of his engorged shaft.
Kneeling down, he gently spreads her thighs, settling himself between her legs. He runs his hand slowly up her soft skin, from her feet, up her calves to her inner thigh, skirting around the delta of soft dark blonde hair between her legs. He circles her navel before moving slowly up her stomach to her breasts, gently squeezing, reshaping, fondling.
She gasps when he lowers his head and flicks a pert nipple with his tongue, her gasp turning to a soft moan when he sucks the breast into his mouth, once again flicking the nipple with his tongue. She is writhing underneath him, mindless with the sensations coursing through her body. He lets go of her breasts and takes her lips with a kiss that speaks of his love for her, a kiss so intense that it swiftly left them breathless. His erection poised at the entrance to her heat, he raises his head so he can peer into the crystal blue depths of her eyes. He whispers, "Every time I see a bluebonnet, I think of your eyes."
Alex smiles, now understanding the bluebonnets all around them. He framed her face with his hands and whispered, "You set me on fire Alex…I love you."

Her smile grew silky as he slowly entered her. "I love you, too," she breathed, ending with a contented sigh as he buried himself fully in her heat.

He withdrew, then filled her again. "Feel good?" he asked, his voice thick with sensual satisfaction.

She raised her hips and met his thrust. "Mmmmmmm."

Neither spoke again for a while, neither was able to, for the passion within them took them to heights so intense that the only sounds from them were soft moans, whimpers, and sighs as they strove for the ultimate fulfillment of their love. They would reach the edge only to back off, slowing the motion of their thrusts. A couple times they rolled, each taking a turn being on top, their hands enjoying a gentle caress of the other's body. Finally they could stand it no more. With Alex once again beneath him, Walker slipped his hands to her bottom, bringing his thrusts impossibly deeper. The deeper thrusts brought her climax pounding to the surface, with no tingling warning to tell her that her climax was beginning. Head thrown back, her body arching up off the ground, Alex screamed with the violent orgasm rolling through her sensitized body. The electric pulses of her climax gripped his manhood, and with one last powerful thrust, his body jerked then stilled over her as he spilled his hot seed deep within her trembling body, his own screams joining with hers.

Breathing heavily, he collapsed onto her heaving chest, holding her body tightly to his, feeling her pounding heartbeat against his own. When they are calm once again, he withdraws from her body, and slips to the side, gathering her against him, legs entwined, laying her head on his shoulder.

Alex breaks the silence, "You can tease me all you want if this is the way you're going to make up for it." Chuckling he turns his head to kiss her swollen lips. She looks around them, then up at the stars. "I love making love with you…outside under the stars." She looks down at him, into his eyes, an impish grin on her face. "We should do this more often."

"That can be arranged," he murmurs. "At least once a week, don't you think?"

Her beautiful smile stirs him and he feels himself growing hard again. "Definitely," she murmurs, bending her head for a kiss. Gripping her hips, he slides her on top of his body, his growing heat unmistakable against her groin. Her eyebrow raised in question, "Walker?"


Reflections, chapter 5
by Teresa
and Jennifer

Alex stirred, her leg moving sinuously against Walker’s thigh. Her eyes fluttered open and she lifted her head, looking up at Walker.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he murmured.

“Morning,” she replied sleepily. “But I hardly think I look beautiful…just having woke up.” She yawned, as if emphasizing her point.

“Well I happen to think you look downright sexy in the morning.” His hand rubbed her bare back.

“Oh you do, do you?” she murmured, sleep dissipating.

“Yes, I do,” he whispered, kissing her soft lips for emphasis.

The kiss broke off, leaving Alex breathless. “Well,” she murmured huskily, “that must be why you take me nearly every morning.” Lifting herself up, bracing a hand on his muscular chest, she returned his kiss with one equally as passionate. Suddenly realizing that he was sitting up as opposed to lying down, she inquired, “Why were you up? Can’t sleep?”

With his hands under her arms, he lifted her up to cuddle in his arms, lying partially against his body. He sighed contentedly, “I was just thinking about us…about how far we’ve come.”

“You mean since that day we met in the courtroom?”

“Yeah…I remember I couldn’t keep my eyes off you at first, then you made me madder than…” His words were cut off when she kissed him.

“As I recall,” she murmured when the kiss ended, “…you made me madder than…” Now her words were cut off by his kiss. Holding the back of her head, he shifted and deepened the kiss, leaving her breathless when he broke it off. “I sure am glad you kissed me that night a few days later at C.D.’s…you had me hooked from there,” she breathed.

His hands began to roam down her body, “I’m just sorry it took me so long to come to my senses.” His hands caressed her soft skin from the small of her back down over her bottom, “I mean, I knew I loved you from the beginning, from that moment you chewed me out at C.D.’s…I was just…afraid of losing you.” He paused, looking down into her eyes, his voice soft, “I can’t tell you how very happy I am that you didn’t give up on me.”

His caress fanned the flames of desire that always lay below the surface of her body, her breathing became shallow, breathless. “It was easy. I knew you loved me…I saw it when you looked at me, in how you were always there for me…I could feel it when you held me.” Sliding up his body she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to him, their lips an infinitesimal distance apart. “And I felt it when you made love to me,” she whispered, before their lips came together in a sweet and tender kiss.

Walker shifted again, moving so that he lay on the bed, Alex held tenderly in his arms, as the kiss grew in intensity. His mouth took hers in a kiss that was wild and hungry. They were both breathing harder by the time the kiss ended, and then, between those rapid breaths, he pressed moist kisses to her nose, her eyes, her forehead. He returned to her mouth with one that was deep enough to touch her soul, and when he raised his head, his gray eyes were smoldering. “I need you,” he whispered hoarsely. “I need you badly.”

As he bent his head to her again, she met him halfway, her lips as anxious as his. Their hands moved over each other, touching all the familiar places, the places they knew would pleasure the other the most. She gasped when his warm hand closed over her breast and she arched her back, pushing her breast into his hand as he gently kneaded.

She writhed beneath him, her hips thrusting in a gentle rolling motion, pushing her soft heated mound against his pulsing erection. She whimpered breathlessly, needing him as much as he needed her.

With a loud deep moan he shifted, gripping her bottom in his hands, and parting her legs with his knee, took his place between her legs, surging forward as he pulled her bottom toward his groin. Alex cried out, her head thrown back, as he drove home with a possession full and deep.

His possession brought him a pleasure so agonizing that he barely heard her cries. His face was a mask of sweet torment, his body glistened with sweat, and the need that pulsed through him was a relentless force centered in his loins. His hands still gripping her bottom, he moved in and out in a strong and steady rhythm, pulling her body into his groin with each thrust. He wanted to take his time and savor the fine nuances of her sheathing, but the urgency of his body wouldn’t allow for that. Nor would hers. She was tightening around him, milking him with her love. He stroked her forcefully. With each incursion, he felt himself going deeper into that love, until he thought he would lose himself entirely to it.

Arms trembling, he fastened his mouth to hers and drank in her impassioned cries until he felt her arch up, catch in her breath, then burst into flames. The ripple of those spasms inside her sent him reeling, back arching, muscles quivering, sweat beading. With a mighty moan, he followed her into a prolonged and powerful climax.

His hands still underneath her, he scooped her up, then reared back to sit on his heels. She was straddling his lap. He was still inside her.

“I love you,” she whispered, winding her arms around his neck. She kissed him lightly once, then again, and hugged him tightly.

A familiar knot rose in his throat. He hugged her back, unable to get enough of her softness, enough of her love. He was still overwhelmed…she was his wife. Alexandra Cahill was his forever. She loved him, despite his faults and despite the years he wasted distancing himself from her love. When he could speak again, he whispered in return, “I love you.”

Tipping her face up, he took his turn kissing her once, then again. Neither kiss was as light as hers had been, but if the purring in the back of her throat was any indication, she didn’t mind. She sighed when his hands came to rest under her arms, thumbs lightly rubbing the outer swell of her breasts.

Alex felt herself tingling inside. She wondered if it was a lingering after-effect of their lovemaking, but when she shifted her hips ever so slightly, the feeling grew. Something else grew, too. She raised questioning eyes to Walker’s.

He grinned. Cupping her bottom with both hands, he urged her more snugly over his heat. “Sometimes, once just isn’t enough.” He captured her mouth and gave her a long, thorough kiss. By the time he was done, the tingling inside her had become a slow burn.
Lord God how he loved this woman, he thought to himself as he watched her melt. Even if it killed him, he’d spend the rest of his time on this earth making love to her whenever the mood struck, whenever she came to him. He’d never tire of her. No sir. Never. He loved her more than life itself.

The End