TERROR FROM THE PAST - Daniel & Teresa McNeely

Cordell Walker was suddenly jolted awake by the sounds of his wife crying, he opened his eyes and looked next to him, Alex was crying, and thrashing her head back and forth. He shook her slowly† trying to get her to wake up

"Alex, Alex honey wake up, sweetheart, your having a bad dream"
Alex slowly opened her eyes, trying to focus on her husbands face, her tears were still falling.

"Walker, oh my God, it was awful"
He took her in his arms and tried to comfort her.

"Do you want to tell me about it, what has you so upset?"
Honey, it was LaRue, he was coming after me again."
Walker could only sit there and listen, Victor LaRue, no one had ever terrorized Alex like he did, he had come after her three times, putting her through more hell then one person should ever have to endure, just the mention of his name made Walker tense up and moved his hands automatically into clenched fists.

"Honey, LaRue is dead you know that, he has been dead for over 4 years, he canít hurt you anymore."
"I know that, but why, why am I dreaming about him again."

Walker was at a total loss, he never realized that LaRue had invaded Alexís dreams before, she never spoke of him again after he had killed him that day in the courtroom.

"Alex, talk to me, what do you mean dreaming of him again, you never told me you had nightmares about LaRue, although I can see why, but you never mentioned it to me before. How long has this been going on?"

"I'm sorry I never told you, but it was a long time ago, I thought I had gotten over it finally, I havenít had any dreams for 3 years, why am I having them again."
"Honey come here, put your head on my shoulder and try to get back to sleep, we donít need to talk about this right now."
"OK, I'm sorry for waking you up."
"Donít ever be sorry, I love you and I want to take care of you, now just relax, I'm here for you always, no one is going to hurt you ever again."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Hon, now go back to sleep."
The rest of Alexís night went by with no more nightmares, she slept peacefully in the arms of her husband.

Walker woke early and went to take care of the horses, he left Alex sleeping, she had tossed and turned last night and by the time she finally slept, it was late, after he finished with the horses he went into the house to make breakfast, he would leave Alex sleep until he had everything ready, Walker was making eggs when a blood curdling scream coming from upstairs caused him to drop the pan on the floor.

Racing up the stairs, he could hear Alex screaming, opening the bedroom door, she was fighting with someone in her sleep.

"Alex, Honey wake up, its me Alex, its ok"
Alex continued to fight, almost throwing Walker to the floor, she was screaming, NO, GET OFF OF ME, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME."

"Honey, youíre dreaming, please Alex wake up. It's me, wake up"
Alex finally calmed down and looked at her husband. She could see the look in his eyes, he was scared for her, scared and worried.

"Walker, I was dreaming again, why am I dreaming about him again, why?"
"I donít know sweetheart, but do you want to tell me about the dream."
"No, I canít talk about it now."
"Ok, when your ready, I'm here."
"I know and I love you for it, I just canít talk about it yet."
If anyone understood not wanting to talk about something it was Walker, he was famous for shutting people out while he dealt with his feelings alone but that was all changing since he and Alex married, he had started telling her everything, from his deepest feelings to little incidental things that happened during the day.

Alex came downstairs to her husband cooking breakfast.

"I was going to bring this up to you, you ruined my surprise."
"Iím sorry, I just couldnít stay up there any longer, thank you for not making me talk about it right now, I donít understand why this is happening now after all this time."
Honey, sit down and have something to eat, it will make you feel better.

Walker and Alex ate breakfast and talked about their plans for the day, neither wanted to get into Alexís nightmares right now, they both had to get to work and it was better not to venture into a subject that they wouldnít be able to talk about right now, so it went unsaid.

Walker was the first to leave the house, Alex kissed him goodbye and they promised to meet for lunch at C.D.'s around noon.

Alex went upstairs to make the bed, she no sooner got up there and she started having visions of LaRue, he was attempting to rape her and she was trying to get away, Alex grabbed her head and fell onto the bed.

"Please make this go away!† I canít go through this again."
Finally leaving for work, she pulled out of the driveway and headed for Dallas, arriving at the courthouse she noticed her husbands truck was gone, he must be out on a case she thought, she wanted to talk to him about this, he needed to know everything about LaRue, everything that had haunted her all those years ago and why she never mentioned it to him.

Walker and Trivette were watching the warehouse for any activity but nothing was happening, things were too quiet so Trivette decided to start up a conversation.

"Walker, you seem a little pre-occupied today, is everything ok?"
"Walker, did you hear me?"
"Yeah Trivette, Iím sorry I have a lot on my mind."
"Wannaí talk about it?"
"You know what, yeah I would, Trivette, Alex started last night having nightmares, I heard her crying and she was thrashing around when I finally got her to wake up, you'll never guess who she told me the nightmares were about?"
"Victor LaRue?"
"Yes, not only that, but she said she didnít understand why after all of these years she was having the nightmares again.† She never told me she was having nightmares before, I donít understand how Alex could have gone through this and not mentioned it to me, but what really botherís me is that she went through that and I didnít notice. Trivette how could I not have noticed something like that, the woman I love was going through something that frightening and I never noticed. I'm surprised she has even stuck with me, I canít believe that I was so insensitive to her needs.

I feel awful."

"Walker, don't beat yourself up about it, Alex probably didnít want to worry you and she most likely hid it well, so don't blame yourself, you notice things now believe me, Alex can't even sneeze without you asking her if sheís ok."
"Thanks Trivette, I guess I just needed to hear that, but I am going to get her to tell me about them, I need to help her through this, sheís going to need me now more than ever, I have to be there for her.

Alex tried to concentrate on her work, she had a big case coming up and she really needed to be prepared, she was prosecuting Vincent Larosa, he was accused of kidnapping, rape and murder, she wanted him to pay for what he did, he terrorized a beautiful young women, he brutally raped and murdered her but not before he stalked and tormented her. Try as she may, she was unable to concentrate, at least she wasnít having any more visions of LaRue, she thought that she had gotten over him, why after all this time was it happening again, she knew she was going to have to tell Walker what she went through and he would most likely feel guilty for not having noticed, but she hid it well from him, but now that they were married she wasnít able to do that, he was going to have to know the truth, she only hoped and prayed that after he did, he would still love her.

"Trivette, why do you think Alex didnít tell me about this before, I canít put my finger on it but something is bothering me about this, there is something Alex isnít telling me."
"Why do you say that?"
"Just a feeling, you were in the courtroom that day, and I know you told me about it many times, but I want you to make sure you didnít leave anything out."
"Why are you asking me this now Walker?"
"I just told you, something is not right here."
"Well you know what I know, I canít really remember."
"What do you mean you canít remember, Larue terrorized Alex in that courtroom, and you were there to watch it, and now you canít remember, something like that stays with you forever, first he kidnaps her and tries to rape her, then he stalks and terrorizes her, kidnaps and tries to rape her again, and yet a third time he terrorizes her and tries to rape her."

Trivette didnít know where to look, he didnít want to look directly at Walker, the man had a sixth sense about him, and he could read people, there were some things that he had promised Alex never to tell him, and although he didnít agree with her, he respected her wishes.

"Trivette are you listening to me?"
"Yes Walker, I'm listening I just donít know what you want me to say, if you have unanswered questions about that time you should ask Alex, she is the one you need to talk to."
"Jimmy, are you hiding something from me?"
Man, he never lets up, if he thinks he knows something he will drag it out of you eventually, but this isnít my place he really needs to talk to Alex.

"Walker, I told you talk to Alex, ask her to explain it to you again."
"Ok Trivette, I will."
"Alex left early for the day, she went home and tried to get some rest, going up stairs she took a hot shower and put on one of Walkerís shirts and got into bed, she had a splitting headache all day and maybe some sleep would help.

Walker got home shortly after five, as he opened the door he called to his wife, but got no answer, he went upstairs and the closer he got to the bedroom, he could hear it "please donít, donít do this to me.† Please, you canít do this to me, he will never forgive me, please."
Walker went in and gently took Alex in His arms.

"Honey, wake up, your dreaming again, Alex, wake up."
Alex opened her eyes, Walker was holding her and had that same worried look on his face.

"Hi, honey, I'm sorry did you say something?"
"Alex, you were having another nightmare, I heard you talking to someone, asking them to please donít, he will never forgive me, what and who were you talking about?"
"Walker, please I canít talk about this, I told you that."
"Alex, you are keeping something from me, I know it.†† Please talk to me, maybe I can help you through this."

"You canít help me, no one can, now please leave me alone."
"Walker please, just go downstairs."
Walker reluctantly left Alex alone and went downstairs, he looked for something to make for dinner, and left Alex be for now, but he was going to get to the bottom of this, he heard her talking, someone would never forgive her, but who, was it him and what would he never forgive her for.

Alex came downstairs after a couple of hours, she went to her husband and gently put her arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder.

"Honey, I'm so sorry, that was uncalled for."
"Its ok baby, but please will you tell me whatís bothering you?"
"I want to, I really do."
"Then why wonít you, Alex there is nothing you can tell me that will change how much I love you, you do know that donít you?"
"Well, then tell me whatís going on, I know that your hiding something from me."
"Walker, its not that I'm hiding anything right now, this is something from the past."
"Ok, well I want you to tell me about it."
Alex looked at Him with tears in her eyes, she loved him so much, this was something she was sure would affect their relationship, she had never told him this and now she wished she had, coming all these years later was not helping the situation, she didnít know where to start so she started at the beginning.

"Walker, ok, you win, I will tell you everything, but before I start, I just want to say, that I love you more than anything, I always have, I just hope you feel the same way about me when I'm done."
"Alex, please, nothing could change the way I feel about you."
"This may."
"Honey, please go ahead."
"Walker, this goes back to that day in the courtroom, you knew that LaRue was holding all of those people including Jimmy and I hostage, when you came in the door and shot him you saw me on the floor, kneeling in front of him, you knew what he wanted to do."
Alex had tears in her eyes as she recounted the story to her husband.

"Honey, go ahead, what is it your trying to tell me?"
"Walker, about an hour before you got there, Larue grabbed me and took me behind the judgeís desk."

"Honey, he pushed me down, Jimmy tried to help me but he was chained to the bench, he picked up my skirt, he ripped my" tears were forming in Walkerís eyes, he didnít want to think he was hearing what he thought, but he had to know so he spoke.

"Alex, baby, are you telling me that Victor Larue raped you in the courtroom that day."
Alexís tears were running down her cheeks and she hung her head in shame.

"Alex, answer me please is that what your saying, that he raped you?"
"Yes, I'm so sorry Walker, I never wanted you to find out, especially not now, not after all of this time."
"Alex, why didnít you ever tell me?"
"I couldnít tell you, I just couldnít."
"Honey, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, I should have known that something happened, I donít know why I didnít realize it, and what about Trivette?"
"Walker, please donít be upset with Jimmy, I begged and pleaded with him not to tell you, I was so ashamed that it happened and I thought if you knew that would be the end of our relationship, we were really just starting out as it was, and I was sure it would be over."
"Alex, how can you think that about me, I thought you knew me better than that."
"I need some time alone, I'll be back later."
Walker got up and went out the front door, Alex expected him to go to the barn, but when she heard the Ram start she knew Walker was leaving, but where would he go, and what was he thinking.

Walker knocked on Trivetteís door, waiting for a response he thought about what he was going to say, he wasnít really mad at him, but something was eating away at him and he needed to get it out in the open.

"Walker? This is a surprise"
"I'll bet it is partner."
"Whatís wrong, what happened?"
"Well, I had that talk with Alex" as soon as Walker got that out he hit Trivette square in the jaw.

"Walker man, what the hell was that for?"
"How could you do this to me, how could you sit back for the last four years, knowing what that bastard did to Alex and not say anything to me. I donít care if Alex told you not to, she wasnít thinking straight.† You should have told me and let me handle things with her, she needed me and I wasnít there for her, even after we became engaged and then married still you never said a word, how could you have kept this from me."
"Walker, she begged me not to say anything, I told her you needed to know, that she would need you but she kept saying that it was too soon in your relationship, that she didnít want to loose you."
"Trivette, you knew all along how I felt about Alex, you knew years ago I loved her, you should have told me."
"Walker, Alex seemed to handle it ok, she went to her therapy and she seemed to be improving."
"Therapy, Alex went to therapy, well† thatís just great, how many other things do you know about my wife that I donít."
"Walker, its nothing like that you know better than that."
"Do I, seems to me that you two have all kinds of secrets I donít know about."
"Walker, donít even go there, you know how much that lady loves you, she was only trying to protect you thatís all, now donít go off and act like a jackass when she needs you the most."

"I'm sorry Trivette your right, I'm just having a hard time absorbing all of this.
Trivette, I feel like I want to kill someone, and the person responsible is already dead, I have all of this anger building up again, the same anger I felt overtime that man came near her, but now I have no place to put it, I canít kill Him I already did that. I need to go home and talk to my wife, I am sorry Trivette, for hitting you I mean, I just need to sort some things out."

When Walker arrived back at the ranch, he went inside and upstairs to find Alex, he was shocked to see her packing a suitcase.

"Alex, what are you doing"?"

"I'm leaving, I'm so sorry for this, I understand if you donít want me anymore."
"Alex, honey come here, come sit with me."
"Walker, its ok really, I never should have kept this from you, I donít blame you for hating me."
"Alex, please come here."

Alex made her way over to Walker, he sat down and motioned for her to come and sit on his lap, as he held her in his arms and gently caressed her hair he knew he had to make her understand that he still loved her the same.

"Alex, I donít hate you, I could never hate you, if anything I love you more than I did before, I feel like I really let you down. I donít understand how you could have been going through this and I never knew anything was wrong, of course I noticed that you were quiet but I knew, well at least I thought I knew, what you had been through. I tried to give you space to come to terms with what had happened not only the day in the courtroom but the other times with LaRue as well. Each time, I had gotten there before something happened to you, but this day was different. I should never have gone after the Babich Brotherís. I should have stayed at headquarters if I was there you may have been spared all of this pain, pain then and now with these nightmares bringing it all back. Alex I am so sorry that this happened to you, but you have to know that it doesnít make any difference to me now and it wouldnít have made a difference then.† I loved you then just as I do now, maybe I didnít express myself back then, ok I didnít, but I loved you just the same. If I didnít kill LaRue that day, I would kill him now. If I had known what he did, I wouldnít have hesitated when I came through the door, I'm sorry baby, I really am sorry."

"Walker, you have nothing to be sorry for, even though I didnít tell you and you donít think you were there for me, it was the love I knew you had for me that got me through. I went to therapy sessions, and I told the therapist how much I loved you, she also told me to tell you and allow the love I had for you to help me through it, but it was so soon, especially after I found out about Ellen, I really didnít want to rock the boat. I didnít want you finding any excuse to leave me, not when we had just started to really be together.

"Alex, I would never have left you, I knew when we had the talk about Ellen, that I already loved you. I knew way before that, as a matter of fact, I think the first time I realized it was the first time LaRue took you hostage. I knew I had to find you, I knew I couldnít live without you and I knew without a doubt that I loved you as I have never loved anyone before.

"Walker, I should have told you but, I'm glad that you know now, I always felt guilty about not telling you, like I was lying to you about something.

"Alex, I donít want to talk about this anymore, as long as your alright, we can talk later."
"Ok, honey, and thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my husband, my lover and my best friend."
"Well, you are very welcome, but its me that owes the thank you to you, for sticking with me and knowing better than anyone how I am and loving me anyway.
"I love you sweetheart."
"I love you too baby, now lets go to bed, you must be exhausted."
"I am.Ē

Walker and Alex slept peacefully the first half of the night, until suddenly he was awakened by Alexís terrifying screams, as he held and comforted her, he began wondering why she was having these nightmares again, at first he thought telling him about what happened in the courtroom that day would put an end to them but obviously that wasnít what was causing them. Something else was bringing all of this back to her and he wanted to help her and put a stop to this, having his wife go through this pain was more than he could bear. Walker brought Alex breakfast in bed and since they both had the weekend off, he wanted to see if he could get to the bottom of this, but he was cautious in bringing up painful memories during the day that were already haunting her nights.

"Hi sweetheart, I thought you might like to have breakfast in bed today."
"Thanks cowboy, what would I do with out you?"
"Well your never going to find out, so enjoy, I'll be right back."
"Walker, no, stay with me, please donít leave me here alone."
"Honey, its ok, I'll stay, do you want to talk about your nightmares, you didnít sleep much last night?"
"I know, I wish I knew what was bringing all this on again, maybe I should go back to therapy."

"Whatever you think is best, I will support your decision, you know that."
"Yes, Honey I do, and I love you, now come here."
Walker moved to Alexís side, he held her in his arms and the fires of passion started, as he slowly kissed her lips and neck, she moved her hands down his back and around to his chest, they spent the next few hours in bed making love, neither of them wanting it to end, more than anything they loved being together. Alex lay in Walkerís arms, silent, until he spoke.
"Honey, lets go into town and do some shopping today."
"Shopping?, are you serious?"
"Yes I am."
"Walker, what brought this on you hate to shop?"
"But I love you and I thought maybe we could get some stuff for the house, you know new stuff that we both like."
"Your on cowboy, let me take a shower and we can go."
"Ok, I'll be waiting downstairs."

Alex came downstairs and Walker was waiting to take her shopping, even though he always hated it and dreaded going, but he wanted to do this for his wife, he needed to get her mind on something else for now and he thought this would do the trick.

The ride in the Ram was quiet, a slow country song came on the radio and Walker could see the tears forming in his wifeís eyes as she listened to the words.

life may not always go your way

every once in a while you might have a bad day

but I promise you now, you wont ever be lonely

the sky turns dark and everything goes wrong

run to me and Iíll leave the light on

and I'll promise you now, you wonít ever be lonely

for as long as I live there will always be

a place you belong here beside me

heart and soul, baby you only

and I promise you now, you† wonít ever be lonely

its still gonna snow and its still gonna rain and

the winds gonna blow on a cold winter day

and I promise you now you wont ever be lonely

your safe from the world wrapped in my arms

and Iíll never let go

baby hereís where it starts

and I promise you now, you wont ever be lonely

hereís a shoulder you can cry on

and a love you can rely on

for as long as I live there will always be

a place you belong here beside me

heart and soul, baby you only

and I promise you now you wont ever be lonely

no, you wonít ever be lonely

Walker looked over at his wife who tried to hide her tears.

"Honey, whatís wrong?"
"Honey please, talk to me, why are you crying"?"

"It was that song Walker, thatís how you make me feel everyday, as long as your with me I will never be lonely, I know it sounds stupid but it just got to me thatís all."
"Come here sweetheart, move over and sit next to me."
Alex moved over and Walker held her hand tight, rubbing his thumb on her hand, she felt safe with him and she knew he would always be there for her.

Walker and Alex walked hand in hand through the mall, picking up things for the house as they went, Alex seemed to be relaxing, she was enjoying the time with her husband, it was a rare occasion that he was willing to go shopping, and she knew why he was doing it today, he loved her with all his heart and she knew it.

"Honey, do you want to go anywhere else?"

"No, I think I would like to go home, if thatís ok."
"Sure baby, what ever you say."

Walker carried the packages into the house while Alex went in to start dinner, the sound of the plates crashing to the floor sent Walker into overdrive, he rushed to the kitchen where he found his wife sitting in the corner sobbing.

"Honey, what happened?"
"Oh, Walker, I saw him, I saw LaRue he was standing outside the backdoor."
"Honey, there is no one there, LaRue is dead you know that."
"Walker, now I'm seeing him when I'm awake. What is wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you baby.† Come on, I'll clean this up and make dinner, why donít you go up and take a nice hot bath, it will make you feel better."
"Please come with me."

Walker went up with Alex and ran the bath for her, helping her in and waiting until she was relaxed.

"Give me a kiss, and when you come down, dinner will be ready."
Alex gave Walker a kiss and headed back down stairs where he quickly dialed Trivette."
"Yeah Trivette."
"Its me, got a minute?"
"Sure, whatís going on, how is Alex"?"

"Trivette, I'm afraid sheís getting worse, I donít know how to help her, she thinks she needs to go back to therapy, just before she said she saw Larue at the backdoor.

"Where is she now?"
"She's taking a bath, sheís exhausted, she hasnít been sleeping good and I'm really getting worried about her, Trivette you need to tell me everything about that day, and not leave anything out."
"Ok, Walker, anything to help Alex, she must be going through hell again."
"She is."
"Listen Trivette, I gotta go, we'll talk soon."
"Ok partner, take care of her."
"Of course."
Alex came downstairs and sat down to dinner, they kept the conversation on another topic, but Walker knew this was going to have to be talked about, something besides him not knowing was bothering her, there must be something else she wasnít telling him, maybe he could get her to open up to him tonight, after dinner.

After the dishes were cleared and put in the dishwasher, Walker started a fire in the fireplace, he motioned for Alex to join him on the floor and they snuggled together watching the flames.† After about an hour Walker tried to get Alex to talk to him.

"Honey, I think we need to talk about this again, is there anything else your not telling me."
"No, I told you everything, do you want me to tell you again?" Alex said, her voice showing a little irritation, maybe I should draw you a picture."

"Honey, I'm only trying to help you, we need to talk about this."
"There's nothing more to say, now leave me alone."
"Alex, please."
Alex got up and headed upstairs, shouting at her husband again to leave her alone, slamming the bed room door behind her. Walker just sat there not knowing what to do, he decided to leave her alone and went to call Trivette, he asked Jimmy to come to the ranch since he didnít feel comfortable leaving Alex alone.

Walker went up to check on his wife, she was sleeping so he slowly closed the door and went out to the porch just as Jimmy was pulling up.

"Walker, how is she?"
"Not good, now tell me everything and donít leave anything out."
Jimmy proceeded to fill Walker in on the events that took place in the courtroom, giving him details of everything Larue said and did.

"Walker, after he put Alex on the witness stand, he started tormenting her with things he was going to do to you, he wanted nothing more than to see you walk through that door so he could blow your head off in front of her. He wanted to make love to her while you watched.

"Oh my God! That bastard is lucky he's dead."
"Walker, I begged him to leave her alone, I pleaded with him not to do it, but he didnít listen, he started throwing stuff around yelling about you and where the hell were you and how much he wanted her, how beautiful she was, and you or no one was going to stop him, he was becoming a loose cannon, thatís when he grabbed her and dragged her behind the judgeís desk.†† I could hear here pleading with him not to do it, that you would never forgive her, she was crying, I can still here her sobs even now."
"Trivette, why didnít I know this happened to her?† I should have known."
"Walker, when he dragged† her back out, everyone in the courtroom just sat there hanging their head, I think that even made Alex feel more ashamed than she already did, and then if that wasnít bad enough her blouse was unbuttoned, and he made her kneel in front of him and button it up while he watched, thatís when you came in.† I know you thought it was just the beginning of what he wanted to do, but it was the end, and Alex didnít want you to know the truth.

"Thanks, Jimmy, thanks for telling me everything."
"Walker, afterwards, I went to see Alex, I wanted her to tell you what happened. I told her she was going to need you but she insisted on handling it herself, she told me she felt dirty and unworthy of you, she was even going to leave without saying goodbye, but thank God I talked her out of that.† I told her how much I knew you loved her, but it didnít seem to help, she still wouldnít tell you."

Walker and Trivette stayed on the porch a while longer and talked, neither had any ideas of what was causing Alexís nightmares now, this was years ago and she seemed ok, something had to have triggered it again, that was what Walker had to find out.

Jimmy left and Walker went up stairs, Alex seemed to be resting peacefully, so he went in to take a shower, she was still sleeping when he came out, he crawled into bed and wrapped her in his arms, they remained that way all night and Alex seemed to sleep without disturbance. He thought it better for now not to bring up the subject again, they spent the day working in the yard, taking the horses out for a ride and they watched a romantic movie on t.v that night, something that again brought Alex to tears and into the arms of her husband. Alex began nuzzling into Walkerís neck and kissing his cheek.

"Yeah, Hon?"
"Walker, make love to me, right now, right here, I need to feel you.† I need to hold you, please Honey, I need to know you still want me, that you still love me."
"Alex, I love you more than anything, that will never change, please believe that, you are my whole life."
Walker proceeded to make love to his wife, it was passionate, slow and very intense, it was like the first time they had been together, they were completely lost in each other, neither could get enough.† Walker picked Alex up and carried her upstairs, he lay her down on the bed and they continued making love again, lost in each other bodies and souls, finally they lay peacefully sleeping in each otherís arms.

Both had work the next day, and as far as Walker was concerned, nothing had been resolved, yes Alex slept through the night, but he was still worried about her, he paid several visits to her office that day to check on her.

"Hi Honey, got a minute?"
"What are you working on?"
"The Larosa case."
"Yeah why,† Vincent Larosa."
"How long have you been working on that?"
"Just a week or so, why? I have only been going over the statements of witnesses and the details of the crime."
"Tell me about it."
"Honey, donít you have anything better to do than listen to one of my boring cases?"
"No, I'm interested really, tell me about it."
"Well, ok if you insist, this guy Vincent Larosa, first he kidnapped the victim, her name was Alexis, he took her to an abandoned warehouse, but she was rescued, but the arresting officer never read him his rights so he got out after a few months when his attorney discovered it.† Then he started stalking her, following her, showing up at her job, she worked at a bank, he even moved into her apartment building, and finally he showed up where she worked for the last time. He killed people in the bank and held her hostage, he tormented her, and raped her, and then he killed her. They finally caught him and now its my job to see that he gets convicted.

Walker listened intently as Alex told him of her latest case, he thought he knew what it was that was causing her nightmares. This case and her encounters with LaRue were eerily similar right down to the guys initials, he kidnapped the girl, then stalked and terrorized her and finally holding her hostage at her place of employment, three different times just like Larue had done to Alex, only this girl wasnít so lucky, her assailant had taken her life. He decided not to mention it right now, he would bring it up later tonight at home.

"Well thatís about it, but I really need to get back to this case, and you are just too much of a distraction."
"Ok, I can take a hint, but you will have to make it up to me tonight, for throwing me out of your office."
ĒYou got it cowboy, now give me a proper kiss goodbye and I will see you later at home."
"Bye sweetheart."
"Bye and be careful."
Walker and Trivette sat finishing up some paperwork, when he decided to fill Trivette in on the latest developments and see what he thought, and thatís what he did, when he finished he waited for Trivetteís response.

"Well, so what do you think?"
"Wow, man I canít believe it, its like we're talking about LaRue here."
"I know, and Alex started this case right around the same time her nightmares returned, its just too much of a coincidence for me, I think this is whatís causing them."
"I'm with you partner, maybe once she realizes it, they will be over."
"I sure hope so, Trivette, I sure hope so."
"Hey, fire up your computer and get me a picture of this Larosa guy."
"Will do."
"Walker, here it is, come and see this, your not going to believe it."
"Oh my god."
"I know, this guy looks almost just like him, here watch this, take off the glasses and give him a darker hair color."
"Look at that, its Victor LaRue,† I canít believe Alex didnít notice this, although I'm thinking her subconscious did."
"Yes, now I know that he is the cause of this, now maybe I can help her work through it."
"Ok partner, and good luck."
"Thanks Trivette for everything."
"You bet."

Walker made his way towards the ranch, he now believed he knew the cause of Alexís nightmares and he wanted to talk to her about it, seeing her car in the driveway he took the steps of the ranch 2 at a time, calling for his wife.

"Alex, Honey Iím home."
"Hi sweetheart, your home early."
"Well, I wanted to talk to you, come and sit a minute."
Walker led Alex to the porch and motioned her to sit facing him on the swing, taking her hands in his, he softly began.

"Honey, I think I know whatís causing your nightmares."
"Yes, and if you think about it you'll see it too."
"What is it?"
"Its the case your working on, the Vincent Larosa case."
"What, no, thatís ridiculous."
"Alex, listen to me, Vincent Larosa, same initials as victor Larue, plus the victim, her name was Alexis, and the situation was very similar, he kidnapped her, she got away, he stalked her and kidnapped her again, and finally held her hostage at her place of work, killing other colleges and raping and killing her. Alex, LaRue, kidnapped you, and you got away, he came back stalked and kidnapped you again, and finally holding you hostage in the courtroom, its like your reliving it all over again.

"Oh my god, do you think thatís what it is?"
"Well, I canít say positively but I would bet on it, this is whatís been causing your nightmares, when you started this case your subconscious brought all of these memories to the surface again.

"Walker, what am I going to do about it, I still have to work on the case and as long as I do they wonít go away."
"Maybe they will, if you know whatís causing them."
ĒWhat would I ever do with out you, you saved me once again."
"Well its the least I can do baby, I know how much I let you down before and I want to be here for you now."

"Walker, I told you, you did not let me down, if anything, our love got me through it and it will get me through it now, its the one thing I can always count on."
"I'm glad you feel that way sweetheart, because I plan on being there for you for ever, you are never going to get rid of me."
"Good, I would like to keep you around for a while."
"What do you say I take you out for dinner you pick the place."
"Well, I would like to go to C.D.'s and see all of our friends I could use the distraction."
"You got it babe. Lets go."
Walker and Alex walked through the door at C.D.'s bar and grill, all of their friends were there and they all ate together, slow country music played on the juke box and Walker went up and pushed a certain song, coming back and asking his wife to dance.

"Sweetheart, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"
"Sure cowboy, a girl would be insane to turn you down."

dancing in the dark

middle of the night

taking your heart and holding it tight

emotional touch, touching my skin

and asking you to do what you been doing all over again

oh, its a beautiful thing, donít think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know, what it is that wonít let me go

its your love, it just does something to me

sends a shock right through me

I canít get enough

and if you wonder, about the spell I'm under

oh, its your love

Walker held his wife tight in his arms as they danced to the music, both lost in their love for each other, the song slowly came to an end and they left the dance floor to rejoin their friends.

The rest of the night went by without incident, Alex was relaxed and Walker was happy about that, maybe now that Alex knew why she was having these nightmares again, at least she thought she knew why, everything would go back to normal.

Alex had court first thing in the morning, she was beginning her opening arguments on the Larosa case, she was nervous to say the least and she wanted her husband there for moral support, she had slept through the night with no nightmares and she thought everything was ok, all she needed to do was get through court and she would be fine.

Walker accompanied her to the courtroom, he sat in the back and waited for his wife to begin, when she approached the jury with her opening statement, she looked over at Vincent Larosa, only he wasnít the one she saw, it was Victor LaRue, he was sitting there, then she was on the witness stand and he was dragging her behind the judgeís desk, Alex couldnít even think, she grabbed her head and started screaming, the judge immediately called a recess and Walker was at his wifeís side in an instant.

"Alex, honey, what happened?"
"I canít do it Walker, I canít go through this again, please get me out of here."
"Ok baby, come on."
Walker went to the judge and tried to explain everything the best he could, she cancelled court for the day to reconvene tomorrow, Walker didnít know whether Alex was going to be able to continue or not, maybe she should hand the case over to Phil Holland and take herself off it.

As they made the ride home to the ranch Walker brought up the fact that maybe she should let someone else take over.

"Alex, maybe you should let Phil take over this case for you."
"Walker, I canít even do my job, what is wrong with me."
"Honey, nothing, I told you that, its just too much for you thatís all."
"Maybe your right, maybe I should let Phil handle it, I canít go through what I did today again, its not fair to the family of that poor girl."
"Alex, whatever you decide I will be right with you."
"I know, I think I already decided, I'm going to call Phil when we get home."
"I think thatís best hon, you donít need to put yourself through this."

Alex picked up the phone and dialed Phil Hollandís number, His wife Kim answered.

"Hi Kim its Alex, can I speak to Phil please?"
"Sure Alex, how is everything?"
"Ok, I just really need to speak to Phil."
"Hi Alex, whatís up?"
"Phil, I have a really big favor to ask you."
"Anything you know that."
"Do you think you could take over the Larosa case, I'm having a little problem handling it?"
"Alex, I would love to, but I canít, right now I just donít have the time, whatís the problem?"
"Oh nothing, I guess I can do it, thanks anyway Phil."
"No problem, like I said any other time I would be more than happy to help you but right now."
"Its ok really, it was a longshot but I thought maybe you were free, I'll see you tomorrow."
Alex slowly hung up the phone and let out a sigh, how was she ever going to get through this, the incident in the courtroom today could not happen again, not if she wanted to keep her job, but seeing that man was too much for her, she knew if she went back in there the same thing was going to happen again, and not even Walker could help her this time, this time it was up to her.

Walker came in from outside to find Alex sitting in the dark.

"Honey, did you talk to Phil?"
"Yes, he canít do it, I am going to have to handle this myself."
"Are you sure your up to it?
"No, as a matter of fact I know I'm not, what am I going to do?"
"Alex, maybe we should talk about this, maybe if you get everything out in the open it will help."
"Walker I'm scared, I really am, I have never had anything that has interfered with my ability to do my job until this."
"Honey, everything will be ok, you'll see, now lets talk about it."
"I donít know where to start."
"Well why donít you start at the beginning, tell me everything you were feeling that day in the courtroom."
"I canít."
"Alex, yes you can, I will be right with you every step of the way, your not alone."
"I know, but its hard."
"Listen sweetheart, you and I have been through worse than this right? And we always make it through, this is no different."
Walker sat down and held Alex in his arms, he tried to get her to relax as she began recounting not only that day in the courtroom, but the other two times as well, this was the first time Alex would tell him everything, the whole sordid story of Victor Larue."

"Honey, this is so hard for me but as long as I have you I can do it."

Alex quietly began:

"I knew that he was going to kill all the hostages, I had to do something thatís when I called you, he grabbed me and threw me onto the cardboard stacks, lifting up my skirt, thatís when he heard you on the phone, Alex continued recounting every detail of her encounters with LaRue as Walker continued holding her, after I came out of my apartment he was in the hallway, he told me he was moving in next door, after we went to the ranch, I thought that I was safe, when he killed those two officers and I went in to pack, he grabbed me from behind, he must have been waiting behind the door, he tied me to the bed and thatís when you came in, after he knocked you over the head I pleaded with him to let you go. I begged him not to hurt you, thatís when he said he knew I had special feelings for you, he told me he knew I was in love with you, he continued hitting you and then dragged you out, to kill you he told me, when he came back he told me you were dead, thatís when he said he wanted to make love to me and that I would enjoy it, after he unbuttoned my shirt you came crashing through the door.† After the hearing that Jimmy and I were there for, I waited because I wanted to make sure that LaRue wasnít going to get off.† I wanted to make sure that they were going to make him stand trial, they brought up his doctor and he made it clear that he wasnít insane that he knew exactly what he was doing and he was competent to stand trial, thatís when LaRue lost it, he went under the desk and the bailiff went under after him, I told him not to, to get out of there but he didnít listen, the gunshot went off and thatís when we thought he had shot LaRue, but when the bailiff fell,† I knew, he took over the courtroom, shooting his doctor and his lawyer, he knocked out the judge took her robe and then he came up to me and said, where is your precious Walker now Alexandra, he told me how beautiful I was and then he hit me with the gun. After that he was sitting up on the judgeís chair telling everyone to be quiet, he called me to the stand, when I told him no, he threatened the little girl that was with her parents, so I went up."
Alex continued her story with tears in her eyes, Walker held her tight and told her to go on, she needed to get it out.

"I was still on the stand when Jimmy came in with his sandwich, thatís when he started getting out of control, he kept asking everyone where you were and why you werenít there, he wanted to see you, he wanted to kill you in front of me, but first he wanted to make love to me and make you watch."
By now Alex was sobbing and Walker was still holding her, he didnít say anything except that it would be alright.

He killed the other convict and hit Jimmy with the barrel of the gun, he was still asking for you, wondering why you werenít there yet, finally Jimmy was coming to, and thatís when Larue started tearing up the place, he was throwing tables over and shouting, where the hell is Walker. I knew he was loosing it and so did Jimmy, he came up to me and started kissing my face, Jimmy told him to stop that he had a kid there, and for a minute I thought he would, thatís when he grabbed me and dragged me."
"Walker, I canít do this, please, I canít go through this again."
"Alex please honey, I'm right here, no one is going to hurt you."

Alex got up and ran upstairs, Walker could here her crying from the bottom of the stairway, he knew she needed him and he wasnít going to let her down, he slowly walked up the stairs and opened the bedroom door, Alex was lying on the bed sobbing and shaking, he gathered her in his arms and let her cry, brushing the hair from her face and kissing her tears trying to get her to calm down, maybe he shouldnít have made her go through this again, maybe it was just to painful to relive.

"Honey, please donít cry I'm here for you, I love you, Alex please listen to me."
"Walker, I canít tell you about the rest, I just canít do it, your asking me to relive a very painful time and I canít do it."
"Ok, sweetheart, you donít have to tell me any more, its ok."
"Walker, I need to ask you something."
"Sure honey, anything."
"Why do you think victor LaRue came after me, I mean it was just a coincidence that I was on that elevator that day, but why do you think he became like he was with me, Walker, what did I do to make him come after me time and again."
"Sweetheart, you didnít do anything, LaRue was a sick man, none of this was your fault."† Alexís words during her nightmare suddenly hit Walker, he heard her say, he will never forgive me, forgive her like what happened was her fault.
Alex, honey, do you think what happened to you, was your fault?"
She didnít answer him.
"Alex, please, you canít blame yourself for what LaRue did to you, none of it was your fault you have to believe that."
"But why, why did he pick me, why not someone else, why me?"
"I canít answer that, only LaRue knows the answer, but I can tell you this, it wasnít your fault, now come snuggle with me and get some sleep, lets not talk about this anymore tonight"

Walker and Alex slept peacefully the first half of the night, he was awakened by Alexís screams, holding her he finally got her to calm down and the rest of the night went by quietly.

Walker was downstairs making coffee when Alex came into the kitchen.

"Morning sweetheart."
"Morning hon, are you feeling better?"
"I think so, thank you honey."
"For what?"
"For being there for me and just for being who you are."
Walker came over and took his wife in his arms, gently kissing her he held her for several minutes and they got ready to leave for work. Alex was nervous about going into the courtroom again after the incident that happened yesterday but she was determined not to let anything happen again, she had prepared her case well and if she didnít look at Vincent Larosa, she thought she could get through it, but that wasnít the case, she started sweating and feeling sick to her stomach, it was all too much for her, she went to the judge and asked for a continuance until she felt better. The judge although angry agreed and recessed until Monday morning, Walker felt that maybe over the weekend Alex would come to terms with what happened to her, he knew it was the rape she needed to talk to him about however painful it would be she needed to tell him everything, although he knew it was the Larosa case that brought all of this back, it was Alexís own demons that were haunting her.

Friday night Alex slept without interruption, Walker didnít bring LaRue up again, but he had an idea and he hoped Alex would go along with it, he needed to get her to open up to him completely.

"Alex, I think we should take a little trip."
"Walker, I canít, I have to be back in court Monday morning, if I donít get through this I am going to loose my job."
"Honey, we will be back I promise."
"Where did you want to go?"

"To the reservation."
"Walker, I told you I canít talk about this, and going to the reservation means you are going to try and make me."
"Alex, I would never make you, but you always loved it at the reservation, its so calming and it helps to bring out demons."
"Demons, is that what you think I have demons?"
"Alex, yes I do, this LaRue stuff is haunting you, day and night, the Larosa case brought it all back but the demons are yours Honey, and you need to face them head on."
"I canít, now leave me alone."
"Alex, please listen to me, I think I know whatís wrong with you, the night that you told me about the rape, I went to see Trivette, I hit him."
"Walker, why?"
"Well, I was angry, not at Trivette but at LaRue, and he was already dead, so I had no one to take that anger out on, does that make sense?"

"Honey, I think thatís whatís wrong here, you never got the chance to lash out at him for what he did to you, you've had this bottled up all of these years and you never got to tell him how you felt about what he did to you.† I really think going to the reservation will help you, will you trust me on this one, please"
"Ok, I'll go, but I donít see how its going to help, but Walker, please I donít want anyone else to know, I just want to be there with you"
"Ok sweetheart, it will be just you and me, there is a special place where we can go."
"Ok, I'll go and pack."

Walker and Alex left almost immediately and headed to the reservation, Walker took a side road and they ended up at a little cabin by a lake.

"Walker, what is this place?"
"It belonged to Uncle Ray once, no one ever comes here anymore, so we wonít be disturbed, its just you and me, ok?"

Walker escorted his wife inside the cabin, leaving her for just a little while to cut down some firewood for the fireplace, returning he found Alex sitting alone curled up on the couch.

"Everything ok sweetheart?"
"What do you say we start dinner, I brought some steaks and potatoes howís that sound?"
"Its ok."
"Alex, do you want to talk?"
"I donít know, Walker whatís wrong with me, why canít I get passed this, I have been kidnapped, terrorized, almost killed many times what is so different about this?"

"Alex, I think its what he did to you, and who it was"
"Maybe, I donít know, I just know I canít go on like this, its not fair to me or to you."

"Hon, lets eat, we can talk later ok."

After dinner Walker put another log on the fire, hoping the quiet of the cabin and being at the reservation would help His wife feel comfortable enough to open up to Him. Sensing Alex wasnít in the mood to talk right now, he coaxed her to take a shower and he waited for her in bed. They held each other tight and sleep found them, Alex awoke screaming and terrified yet again, Walker held her until she calmed down.

"Itís ok baby, I have you, everything is ok."
"Walker, after he kissed me on the stand, and Jimmy told him to stop because of the little girl, I thought he was going to, but he didnít, I kept wondering where you were and why you werenít there, all I thought about was what was taking you so long, you were always there when I needed you."

"Itís ok honey, tell me what happened?"

Walker wondered why this time Alex had brought up the fact that he wasnít there, she never mentioned before that she wondered where he was.

He kept bringing up the last time, how he had both of us where he wanted us, how he had gotten you, but Jimmy reminded him that you beat him not once but twice, thatís when" Alex took a deep breath and continued as her husband held her tightly to his chest.

"He pulled me behind the desk, his hands were roaming all over my body, it disgusted me, he was touching me all over, but that wasnít all, it was the things he was saying, he pulled up my skirt, he ripped my underwear, oh god Walker I was so scared."
"Its ok sweetheart, you have to get this out, you have to tell me." Walker could feel his blood pressure rising, he wanted to hit something.

"He was touching me, he said that he knew I liked it, that someone with a body like mine, this is what they were for, to please men, he said I was so beautiful, too beautiful for a cowboy like you, he said it was your fault that we didnít finish our date the first time."

"Alex, its ok baby, you donít have to tell me." Walker suddenly realized that maybe he didnít want to hear this after all.

"No, I have to, I have to tell you everything, Walker he asked me if it was this good between you and I, he said he would show me what a real man was like, that he was a better lover then you. Walker I spit in his face, I tried to get away but he was too strong, he held me down."

Walker continued holding Alex, wiping her falling tears with his hand as she rested her head on his chest, never looking him in his eyes, eyes that had tears of their own now.

"Jimmy kept yelling, telling him to stop, not to do this to me, swearing he would kill him, but LaRue didnít listen, he grabbed my legs, then he." Alex was sobbing, she didnít think she could go on any longer, visions of LaRue were flashing through her mind, and she was having a hard time breathing, it was as if she was back in the courtroom.

"I closed my eyes tight, I tried to think of you, but I couldnít, I could feel him when he."
"Alex, donít, you donít have to talk anymore honey."
"No, I have to, I could feel him, thatís when he said it, he said you let him do this to me, that if you were there you could have stopped him but you didnít care enough to show up. Walker, he said you didnít love me the way he did, I wanted to die, it was as though the life was draining from my body, when he was finished he dragged me back out front, everyone was hanging their heads.† I know how they all felt, then he made me kneel in front of him, and button up my blouse, thatís when you busted down the door. I know what you thought that he hadnít had the chance, but you were wrong, it was too late, I'm sorry Walker."
"No, sweetheart, I'm the one thatís sorry, I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm sorry I wasnít there for you, this is all my fault."

"No, its not, you didnít know."
"I should have known, I should have been there for you and I wasnít, Alex, please forgive me, I would have been there if I knew you were in trouble."
"I know honey, its not your fault, and you know what, its not mine either I know that now, it was LaRueís fault, he was obsessed with me and with you too, he only wanted to hurt both of us, but we canít let him win, not now."
"Alex, you didnít believe him did you?
"About why you werenít there?"
"No, I knew that if you could have you would have been there, you had no idea this was going to happen, Jimmy was there and he couldnít stop it either."
"Alex, why didnít you tell me this when it happened?"
"I donít know, I guess that I felt ashamed, that you wouldnít forgive me for letting it happen, I wasnít strong enough to stop him, after you told me about Ellen and we moved forward with our relationship I was so happy. I have loved you forever, then this happened and I thought that you would leave me, it wasnít like it is now, we had just started to get serious and I didnít want anything or anyone especially Victor Larue ruining that.† I'm sorry Walker, I should have told you I know that now, I guess I didnít have faith in your feelings for me at the time, I was still feeling the effects of your relationship with Ellen, and I was scared."

"Honey, my relationship with Ellen ended when she died. I was over her long before Vince Pike got released from prison, I am sorry that you had to find out the way you did, I just never thought to tell you, I shouldnít have shut you out like I did.† It was just that it brought back so many memories from that time in my life and I needed to sort through them myself, and I did it the only way I knew how, alone, but I want you to know that it was during that time that I realized how much I loved you and what you meant to me.† I knew then that you were the love of my life, the one I wanted with me always."

"Thank you Walker for bringing me here, it really did help, I just hope it was enough."
"We can get through this together, I promise I wonít let you down again, I'll help you with whatever you need."
"You already did sweetheart, lets get some sleep, I'm really tired."
"Ok baby, we'll talk more tomorrow if you want."

Walker and Alex spent the remainder of the weekend at the reservation, just being together, occasionally talking about Alexís nightmares and helping each other through them. Sunday they left to head back to Dallas, Alex had court in the morning and she thought she was finally ready, going to the reservation and finally opening up to her husband about the terror she went through at the hands of victor Larue was finally behind her, she was calm and at peace with herself. Walker had convinced her that it was LaRue that was to blame and none of it was her fault.

For moral support Walker accompanied his wife to the courtroom on Monday morning, before he sat he kissed her cheek and gave her a wink that she knew was his way in public to say† ďI love youĒ, opening arguments were set to begin once again, only this time Alex was brilliant, she looked Vincent Larosa square in the eye as she gave her arguments to the jury.

The trial was a lengthy one, but in the end justice had been served and Larosa was convicted, given the death penalty for his crime, justice had prevailed and Walker was prouder of his wife then he had ever been before. She over came a terrifying past and prevailed, her demons had been put to rest and together they would face the next challenge, secure in their love and commitment. Each of them knowing that as long as they had each other, nothing and no one could ever touch the love that they shared, together they would always come out ahead.