The Doubt
By Vonnie (sissy@svs.net)

Walker looks on as Alex sits up in bed. "Alex … we…" He reaches out to her but she moves away from his touch. She stands and turns away from him but not before he sees the hurt on her face and the red swollen eyes. She slips into her robe, gathers her clothes up for work and goes into the bathroom, shutting the door … and locking it.

He had lain beside her all night listening to the quiet sobbing, but every time he had touched her, she had scooted away until the bed ran out, then she just got up and sat in a chair. He had pleaded with her to come back to bed, promising not to bother her anymore.

When she comes out of the bathroom she's fully dressed. She picks up her purse and briefcase and walks out of the bedroom without saying a word to him.

He showers and dresses, all the time wondering how things can change so quickly in such a short time. Married just one short month, he thought his life couldn't get any better, until yesterday afternoon. Now he's thinking life can't get any worse.

*****

Alex had gone looking for him and not finding him at his desk, she started back to her office. But in passing the conference room, she thought she heard his voice. Pushing open the door she saw Walker, hip resting on the corner of the table with his back to her, talking on the phone. He was talking so softly that she could only hear snatches of the conversation as she moved silently toward him. But as she drew closer some of the words became clearer, stopping her in her tracks. Not really wanting to eavesdrop, but unable to move, the words were like daggers to her heart. "It takes time … I know … just be patient … I can't now … I told you it would be like this … I want to be with you, too … I feel the same way. Don't do anything until I see you, okay? … I've got to go now … I will … Bye." He hung up the phone, sighed deeply, slid off the table and turned.

"Alex! What are you doing in here?" His face turned a light shade of red, "What did you want, hon?"

"Who were you talking to?" Her voice pinched, hollow, "Walker, who was that?"

He glances at the phone then back at her, "It's … just something to do with a case, Alex, that's all."

"Didn't sound like that to me." Fear began filling her heart. Tell me who it was Walker!

"It is about work, Alex, that's all I can tell you."

"Work? Yeah, right." She turned on her heel and stormed out the door.
Walker followed right behind her, right into her office. He shut the door then turned to face her.
"Alex, you're going to have to trust me on this. It is work related, that's all I can tell you." He moved toward her, arms out to bring her into an embrace, wanting to stop her wayward thinking.

But she backed away, hands in front of her, making him keep his distance. Her eyes lock onto his face, the blush is still very much present and wonders why something to do with work would make him blush like that. And the conversation, the words are bouncing around in her head, It takes time … I know … just be patient … I can't now … I told you it would be like this … I want to be with you, too … I feel the same way. … I want to be with you, too … I want to be with you … I want to be with you … I want to be with you…

"Alex?"

"If you don't want to tell me, why don't you just leave."

"Alex, it's not that I don't want to, I can't! Believe me I wish I could. Honey, you know I love you!"

The intercom crackled to life with, "Ms Cahill, you're due in court in ten minutes."

"Oh, okay, Donna. I'll … be right out." She turned to look at Walker, "I've got to go." She picked up her files and folders and stuffed them into her briefcase and without looking at her husband, walked out of her office.

And he didn't have another chance to talk to her again until they returned home that evening. Nothing was accomplished then either. She was pleading with him to tell her, and he was begging her to trust him.

Those words she had heard him say were eating at her like a cancer, she couldn't get them out of her mind. I want to be with you, too. But he wouldn't explain them. How could words like that have to do with his work?

His heart was breaking. He hated seeing her like this. But he had made a promise. He was so scared that he could lose Alex over this, but … what could he do. He had made a promise. But was keeping that promise worth the risk of losing Alex? It shouldn't have to be like this.

And they had gone to bed for the first time since they had gotten married with angry words between them.

******

"Morning, Partner. Looks like a good day out there … so far." His naturally happy face is quickly replaced with a frown when he sees Walker's.

"Hey … man, you look like hell." Trivette grabs his chair and pulls it close to Walker's desk. "What's going on?"

"I … think I've lost … Alex, Trivette." The words spoken are like a knife to his heart.

Trivette pales, he had never heard a voice so full of pain. "Alex? … What are you taking about man, I just saw her in the hallway."

"She overheard me on the phone yesterday, and she thinks … I'm involved with another woman."

"You got to be kiddin'. You … another woman! Boy, is she ever in left field, right?" When he just sits there without answering, "She is, isn't she? In left field?"

"Trivette, you know there isn't any other woman for me but Alex. But I can't tell her about … the phone call. It's got to do with a promise I gave. It's got to do with a case I had when you were in Boston. I can't even talk to you about it."

"Jees, man. What are you gonna do?" His heart is breaking over his friend's dilemma.

"I can't … I won't lose Alex, Trivette. I'll blow everything wide open before it comes to that. Nothing is worth losing Alex." His next words knock the wind out of Trivette. "I'll give up the Rangers before I lose Alex." With those words he jumps up from his chair and almost at a run heads for the door.

Trivette follows him just until he disappears into the ADA's office. Then shaking his head, he returns to his desk.

"Is she alone," Donna nods, and without breaking stride, he pushes her office door open, then turns around and locks it. Turning around he faces a startled Alex. "We have to talk. I'm not leaving here till this is straightened out. If it means I have to blow the case wide open, I will. But I hope it won't come to that."

Alex is standing now, not sure what to make of this. She has never seen Walker like this before. "I don't think…"

"Alex, do you love me?" He moves toward her, very slowly, not wanting to frighten her.

The question startles her. "Walker, you know I do."

"Do you trust me?" Moving closer.

"Yes, I trust you, but…"

He reaches out to take her hands in his, "I need you to trust me on this, Alex. You know there will be times that I can't tell you things about my cases, just like there will be times you can't talk about some of your trial cases. Right?"

"Yes, I know that, but what you said…" Tears begin filling her eyes.

His voice softens, "Honey, you're my wife, I love you more than life itself. What you heard has nothing to do with our life, how I feel about you." He pulls her against his chest, and he can feel her melt against him. "I love you, baby, only you. And I don't want to lose you." He feels her tears soaking into his shirt. "In a few weeks, a month at most, it'll all be over, and I can tell you everything. Just trust me, baby. Just trust me."

"Oh, Walker, I do. I really do. But hearing you say those words to someone else was like a knife in my heart, and I couldn't get them out of my mind." She looks up into his eyes then, "I'm so sorry, honey, I guess … hearing those words made me realize that I could really lose you." She takes his face between her hands and kisses him deeply, then resting her head against his chest, "I love you so much, I don't ever want to lose you."

"You'll never lose me, Alex. Before I let something like this come between us, I'll leave the Rangers. I … couldn't live without you."

The stand wrapped in each other's arms for a long time. Then Alex feels the stirring of Walker's manhood against her belly, which in turns starts a fire burning inside of her. "Besides woman, you keep me so content, I have no desire to go anywhere else."

"Do I Walker? It seems as it I'm not doing too good a job, it's not even noon yet, and I can tell you're … hungry?"

"I'm not programmed to a clock, honey, only to you."

The End

Stay tuned for the next chapter! 'Recovery'