The Healing of Time

By: Tammy

tammy@clarks.net

          Alex woke to the sound of the shower.  Rolling from her right side to her back she closed her eyes for a second trying to get the sleep from her body.  A wave of nausea hit her as she tried to sit up.  She was so tired, but knowing she had a deposition that morning she knew she had to crawl out of bed.

          Trying again she sat up slowly, and felt a little better, but not much.  Hearing the bathroom door open she glanced over and smiled as her husband walked out with a towel around his waist. 

          "Good morning," she said as he came over to her.

          "Hi.  Sorry about last night, Trivette and I didn't get done in Austin until late."  Walker said sitting next to her.

          "It's alright, I finally got the rest of my paperwork done."

          "Do you want me to make breakfast or should we stop at C.D.'s?  I'm thinking eggs, sausage…"

          Alex's stomach turned at the thought of food.  Suddenly she was in the bathroom sick.  Walker followed her into the bathroom.  "Are you alright?"

          "I don't know.  I think I might have eaten some bad food last night."

          "You do look a little pale."  He said feeling her face to see if she was warm.

          "I'll be alright.  Let me take a shower and I'll be down."  Nodding he walked out to get dressed.

          Walking into the kitchen Alex slid into a chair at the table.  Her head hurt, she was exhausted, and she had thrown up two more times since Walker had left her. 

          "Hon, maybe you should stay home."

          "I can't I have that deposition at ten.  I'll be fine."  She stood up and he took her in his arms.

          "Here," Walker handed her a cup of coffee.  Smiling briefly she took it, that was until the smell reached her, and she was off again to the bathroom.

          Minutes later she was back in the kitchen.  "I need to get going to the office, and prepare for that deposition," Alex said gathering her things.

          "Lunch at noon?"  Walker asked as he put his arm around her waist as they headed for the door.

          "Sorry this deposition is going to take at least two hours, and then I have a meeting."

          "Anything I should be concerned with?"

          "No," he bent down and kissed her softly.  "Will you be home tonight?"

          "I will try.  Trivette and I have several leads to follow up on."

          "Well maybe I'll catch you later at the office."  They kissed again and she walked to her car.  Walker stood on the porch and waited until she was off safely.

          Driving to work Alex smiled to her self.  She did have a meeting that afternoon, but it was with her doctor.  Lately she hadn't been feeling that well, this morning was the worst.  Deep down she had a suspicion what the cause was.  Her only concern was how Walker would handle it if her feelings were true.

          They had only been married for six months, but they both knew they wanted children.  What they hadn't discussed was when.  She knew Walker would be happy, she just wasn't completely sure how long it would take for him to be happy.  It would be a sudden thing.

          Walking into her office she stopped at Jessica's desk.  "Ms. Cahill, there is a package for you on your desk."

          "Thanks Jessica.  Is everything ready for ten o'clock?"

          "Yes.  Mr. Richards called a few minutes ago and said he would meet you downstairs."

          "Thanks."  Alex walked into her office and set her briefcase on the counter.  Turning to her desk she found the package.  Picking it up she inspected it closely.

          After taking a pair of scissors she opened the box and shrieked as she pulled the folds of the box back.  The inside of the box was covered with dead roses.  Picking up the card she read:  "Ms. Cahill, watch yourself." 

          This wasn't the first time this had happened.  For several weeks now she had been getting strange phone calls, and strange messages sent to her in the mail.  This was the first package he had sent her though. 

          "Ms. Cahill, are you alright?"

          "Yes, I'm fine."  Alex responded trying to compose her self.  "Will you please take this down to the incinerator?"

          "Yes ma'am."

          "Please don't tell anyone about the contents.  I don't need a particular Ranger keeping tabs on my every move."

          Jessica smiled knowing right away whom she meant.  Alex sat down once Jessica had walked out the door.  Her hands were still shaking slightly, but she couldn’t let something like that get to her.  Threats were nothing new and until there was someone to link them to there really wasn't anything anyone could do. Walker and Trivette were busy enough with the cases they had, they didn’t need to worry about her too.

          "What'cha got?"  Walker asked walking over to Trivette's desk.

          "A new name…Walter Reynolds, it seems he was friends with Martin Gurule before he was arrested.  Not sure if it will get us anywhere but it's a start."

          Nodding Walker glanced at his watch.  "OK, I'll meet you downstairs in five minutes."  Grabbing his hat Walker headed for Alex's office.  She would be getting ready for her deposition, but this might be the only chance he would get to see her until that night.

          "Yes sir…yes…I'm heading down there now."  Alex hung up the phone and sat in her chair for a minute.  She was feeling a little better, not much, but at least she hadn't thrown up again.

          "Hey, how's my favorite counselor?"  Turning she smiled and went to meet him.  "Feeling better?"

          "A little.  What brings you by so early?"  She asked wrapping her arms around his waist.

          "We're heading out and I wasn't sure if I'd get a chance to see you until tonight."

          "Well that was awfully thoughtful of you."  Smiling down at her he brushed his lips with hers.  "Will you be home tonight?"

          "I am planning on it."

          Checking her watch Alex walked to her desk and closed her briefcase  " I need to get downstairs."

          "Yeah, me too.  I'll walk you down."  As she reached for the door his arms took hers and he turned her back around kissing her again.

          Later that afternoon Alex was sitting in the doctor's office.  After her examination she had gone into his office to wait.  Her nerves were on edge and she was anxious for the test results.  The deposition had gone well and showed to be a great sign that they would get a conviction.  Now she just prayed that the test was positive and her day would be perfect.

          "Ms. Cahill, sorry this took so long."

          "It's alright."

          "Well I have some good news.  You are right, the test came back positive.  We'll need to set up another appointment in about a month."

"Well at least I finally see why I've been feeling awful lately."

          Now, I've known you for several years and I've seen how much you work.  I want to give you some advice.  You need to watch how many hours you spend in the office. This baby is going to wear you out, and you need your rest. 

          "Yes Doctor, I understand."

          "Ok.  I think that's all.  I will see you in a few weeks."  Alex shook his hand and walked out.  After making another appointment she headed home.  Sure it was early but she had taken the afternoon off.  Anyway she had a lot of things to get ready for that night…everything had to be perfect when she told Walker.

          After speaking with Mr. Reynolds, Walker and Trivette were on their way to stake out a halfway house they heard Gurule might be at.  There were hopes this would lead them to him.  He had broken out of Huntsville, just days earlier.  Traveling north he had stopped in Dallas to find some transportation out.  Well Walker and Trivette weren't going to let that happen.  Once at the house they "set up camp", watching people come and go.

          After a couple of hours they hadn't spotted him they both decided to head home.  Other cars were there watching, they had to be careful so they didn't alert Gurule they were watching.  Otherwise he would head farther underground and they might never find him.  Glancing at his watch Walker saw it was already eight o'clock.

Just minutes from dropping Trivette off dispatch came over the radio about a convenience store hold up.  "Call it in…" Walker said to Trivette as Walker spotted the suspect, and making his trademark U-turn, headed out after them.

          "This is Rangers Walker and Trivette, we are in pursuit of the suspects on Van Dorn Street heading west."

           The chase led them far outside Dallas.  As the driver turned onto a gravel road he lost control and the car rolled several times.  Walker stopped the RAM and both he and Trivette ran to the car where they pulled both men out.  Just as they were walking back to the RAM the car exploded throwing them forward.

          Once the suspects were cuffed and put in the bed of the truck Trivette turned to Walker, "Hey Pard, you're hurt." Walker looked down and saw a wound to his left side.  It was bleeding pretty badly so he took off his shirt and used it as a pressure bandage.

          "This will have to do for now."  Getting in the truck the two partners headed back towards Dallas to turn in their catch and head to get the wound flushed and bandaged.

          Alex had gone home and laid down for a couple of hours.  She couldn't remember the last time she had taken a nap but her body had really been crying for one.  Around five o'clock she finally woke up and headed down the stairs to begin supper.  Thankfully her stomach was better and she was, so far, able to cook.

          Placing the lasagna in the oven Alex headed towards the living room to get out some papers to look over.  Just as she reached the sofa the phone rang. "Hello…" Alex said expecting it to be Walker to tell her he wasn't going to be home.

          "Hello there beautiful…" the voice said on the other end of the phone.  Alex tensed as the now familiar sounded

          "Who is this?"

          "The man of your dreams…"

          "Leave me alone."  Alex slammed the phone down.  Her entire body was shaking at this time.  Now the calls were coming at home.  How did he know this number, it was unlisted. 

          Composing herself she headed back to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on supper.

          Walking in the front door Walker knew it was way past midnight.  He had called to tell Alex he would be late, but she hadn't answered.  The paperwork had taken longer than expected, but the worst had been the emergency room. Trivette had made him go and it had taken almost an hour to get patched up. 

          Once inside the door he hung up his hat and took off his boots.  The lights were on in the dining room so he walked in and saw the table set waiting for him to come home.  His heart sank deep in his chest as he realized Alex had planned a special evening.

          Turning off the lights he went upstairs and into the bedroom.  There she was, asleep with the lamp on.  Sitting next to her he brushed a strand of hair from her eyes.  As he did so her eyes fluttered open.

          "I'm sorry, " she threw her arms around his neck.

          "Why didn't you call?"

          "I did, you didn't answer."

          "It must have been after I fell asleep."  Alex said looking at him.  It was then she noticed the bloodstained shirt.  "What happened?"

          The reason I missed dinner."  Alex raised her eyebrow questioning his remark.  "Car chase…two kids robbed a convenience store and Trivette and I chased them.  They rolled their car and just after we pulled them out the car exploded."

          "Thank God you are alright."  Leaning forward Walker gently kissed her.

          "So what did I miss?"  Walker asked brushing some hair from her face.

          "What do you mean?"

          "Dinner."

          "Oh."  Alex's mind suddenly went to her news.  She wanted to tell him, but the hour was late.  She guessed it would have to wait until the next afternoon.

          "Was there something important I missed?"  Walker asked trying to think of every important date they had together.

          "No, just a surprise.  We haven't seen much of each other lately."  Alex responded taking his hand and pulling him close.

          "I'm sorry."

          "I know you are, don't worry about it."  Kissing her again he stood up.  "I'm going to take a quick shower."

          Alex nodded as he went inside the bathroom.  Walker sped through his shower hoping that Alex would still be awake when he came out.  Unfortunately she had fallen asleep just moments after her head hit the pillow.  Crawling into bed he wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled up close.

          The alarm went off and Alex wanted to throw it across the room.  Waking up was proving to be harder than getting out of bed.  Turning her head she smiled softly to herself.  Walker had already left for the day, but he had left her a red rose on the pillow.  His note read:  I love you.

          Reaching into the drawer of the nightstand she pulled out some soda crackers and ate a couple.  Thankfully she was able to get up and ready with fewer complications.  The doctor figured she was only about two months along, and her morning sickness would subside shortly.  Now all she had to do was tell her workaholic husband.

          Walking downstairs she headed for the dining room to finish cleaning up her mess from the night before.  But there on the table, instead of the dishes, was a bouquet of white and red roses.  Once again she read the card: I'm sorry about last night.  Meet me at C.D.'s for lunch.  12:00 sharp.

          She couldn't believe her eyes, roses.  She wondered how he had finally figured out where to buy them.  In the midst of everything that was going on Alex felt like the luckiest woman in the world.  She was married to a wonderful man who never failed to amaze her.  Sure he had troubles expressing himself with words, but she never felt unloved by him.

          Heading for the kitchen she stopped to as the phone rang.  "Hello?"

          "Ms. Cahill, finally up and ready for the day…"

          "Leave me alone!"

          "I can't wait to have you in my arms…to touch you…to feel you…"
          Alex slammed the phone down.  She wasn't going to let some stupid prankster get her worried.  Driving to work she did keep checking her rearview mirror to see if anyone was there.

          Feeling secure she headed up to her office where she dropped off her briefcase and picked up her phone.  Walker's truck was outside and so she knew he was somewhere in the building.

          "Good morning cowboy," she said when he answered.  "Can you come in here for a minute there's something I want to discuss."  Hanging up the phone she stood by her desk until he walked in.

          "Good morning," Walker said as he came in and shut the door.

          "Thank you for the roses."  Alex said wrapping her arms around his neck.  "Where did Jimmy get them?"

          "This small shop…" he stopped knowing he was busted.

          "It's alright, it is the thought that counts."  She gave him a huge kiss.

          "If I had known that would be your response to receiving flowers I would have sent you some a long time ago."

          "Do you have a few minutes?"

          "Yeah why?"  Walker asked noting the sudden serious tone in her voice.

          "There's something I wanted to tell you last night."

          "That explains the candles and good china."  Alex nodded as she moved to take his hands in hers. "This wasn't exactly the place I wanted to discuss this with you."

          "Ms. Cahill, there's an urgent phone call for you…" Jessica paged through.  Alex's train of thought was broken as she walked to her desk.

          "Thank you."  Alex turned back to Walker with an apologetic look on her face.

          "Take the phone call."  Walker motioned towards the phone as she picked up the handset.

          "I guess it'll have to wait."  Nodding Walker headed back down the hallway.

          "Alex Cahill," Alex said speaking into the phone.

          "Hello again Ms. Cahill,"

          "Who is this?"  She asked hitting the record button on the answering machine.

          "Oh you'll find out soon enough."

          "Leave me a one."

          "You don't mean that.  I'm watching every step you make.  Be careful…"  The phone went dead.  Her emotions began running wild as she sank in her chair sobbing.  This had been going on way too long, but she didn't want to bother Walker with it.  He and Trivette were still trying to catch Gurule.  She had thought about giving it to another Ranger but Walker would find out about it, that wouldn't work either. 

          "Did we get anything last night?"

          "I'm waiting for a call."  Almost as though Jimmy had planned it the phone rang. "Trivette…ok…yeah…thanks…" Jimmy hung up the phone and turned to Walker.  "That was surveillance they said Gurule just made an entrance."

          Grabbing their hats the two cowboys headed off to the same house they had staked out the night before.  Once there they were able to catch Gurule.  At first the gun power had been tremendous, but it didn’t take long for the Rangers and back-up to pin them to the wall.  Gurule was once again apprehended and was going to be sent back to Huntsville, and to death row once again.

          Walker came into C.D.'s promptly at noon.  He looked around for Alex as he went towards the bar.  "Hey there Cordell," C.D. said coming from the kitchen

          "Hi.  Have you seen Alex?"

          "No…" just then the door opened and Walker turned to find her walking in.  Her face was crest-fallen and had a far away look.  As soon as she saw Walker her eyes lit up and she walked towards him.

          "Alex, honey you look…"

          "I know C.D., it's been a hard day."  Walker took her hand and guided her to a booth with C.D. in tow.

          "What happened?"

          Alex sat there a moment hearing the voice on the phone.  He had called back two more times that morning.  "Our star witness, for some reason has decided to back out."

          "What happened?"

          "She says she can't be completely sure she saw Marcus at the house that night."  Putting his arm around her should he pulled her towards him, in a comforting hug.  She laid her head on his shoulder and allowed him to help her.  Feeling his love and concern for his bride soon began to give her the energy she needed to finish the day.

          C.D. went back to the bar to help with the lunch crowd that was coming in, leaving Walker and Alex alone. "Maybe you should go home, take the afternoon off."  Walker suggested turning to face Alex.

          "This from the man who had to be forced on leave after being shot last month."  He smiled down at her and her heart melted.  Knowing inside she needed to tell him about the threats.

          "What' s your afternoon looking like?"  Walker asked her hoping he could find a way to convince her to just go home.  She looked so tired and worn out, and something was wrong he could feel it.

          "I have to be at the University campus at one-thirty.  The professor of Criminal Justice asked if I would come and talk about the D.A.’s office."

          "So you are going to bore them to death for an hour…" Alex looked up at him and playfully slapped his arm.  "I’m kidding…"

          Mabel brought them each out a plate of food and they ate together as they talked quietly.  For the first time in days they were finally talking and spending time together.  Time flew by too quickly and Alex looked at her watch noting she had to leave or else she would be late.

          "Darling, I need to get going."  Alex said thinking he would move to let her by him.

          Instead he turned to face her and cradling her face with his left hand he looked into her eyes, "Promise me you will get some rest tonight."  She nodded her head as he kissed her tenderly.

          "Now, if you don't move I will be late." 

          "I'll walk you to your car."  They each stood and walked out the door after telling C.D. good-bye.  Once at her car he again kissed her and gave her a hug, holding onto her for several minutes.  He was trying to make up for the past several evenings that he hadn't been able to see her.

          The class went fine, the students asked many great questions and she shared some personal experiences of her own.  One of the students showed interest in the Rangers and made a point to ask what it was like being married to one.

          Alex had laughed thinking how little she had seen him in the past week. "Well it's hard.  You get used to it." 

          "Are you planning on having children?" Came another question from the large lecture hall.

          Suddenly Alex remembered she hadn't told Walker.  They had been alone at C.D.'s but all she had been thinking about was that psycho on the phone.  Bringing her thoughts back to the task at hand, "yes, someday.  We both are hoping for children."

          A short time later the professor once again took charge of his class.  After thanking Alex for her time they shook hands.  As Alex walked out the door the students showed their appreciation by clapping.

          Walking down the stairs Alex walked out a side door heading toward the parking garage where she had parked her car.  Hearing footsteps her senses were heightened.  Just as she reached her car she felt a gun in her back.

          'You surprise me Ms. Cahill, you should have listened to me."

          Alex tensed trying to think what to do.  Walker had taught her a lot of self-defense over the years, but he had the gun.  "Get in the car!"

          Obliging Alex got in as he shoved her to the passenger seat.  "Give me the keys!"

          "Where are you taking me?"

          "Shut-up!  You'll find out soon enough."  Alex sat still for several minutes as he drove.  Minutes later he exited the freeway and was heading out of Dallas.

          "Where are we going?"

          "Your husband said you should go home, so I'm taking you home,"

          Driving on in silence Alex was thinking of ways to free her self.  She would wait until they reached the ranch.  All she needed to do was to get to a phone and call Walker.  Before he knew it every Ranger and DPD available would be there.

          As he parked the car she threw open the door and tried to make a run for it.  But he soon caught her and throwing her to the ground he slapped her.  "I wouldn't try that again if I were you."

          Grabbing her arm he pulled her off the ground and drug her into the house.  Her face was fear stricken as he started towards the stairs.  Suddenly he stopped and threw her into the bedroom on the main floor.

          Looking into his eyes she knew what was about to happen.  Reprimanding herself she wished she had told Walker.  Now she just prayed she would survive long enough for her to see him again.  At that moment the thought of him lecturing her about safety warmed her heart, "I love you Walker," she thought to her self.

          Walker picked up the phone and dialed Alex's extension.  "Jessica, is Alex there?"

          "No she's not.  There was a message that said you had told her to go home.  She hasn't come back from the college."

          "Do you have the number to the university…ok thanks."  Frowning Walker hung up the phone and dialed the University.

          "What's going on?" Trivette asked as Walker again hung up the phone.

          "Someone left a message that Alex went home.  When I suggested it to her at C.D.'s she was dead set against it."

          "Maybe she changed her mind."

          "Maybe, but something doesn't feel right.  I'm going to head up to the ranch."

          "Do you want me to come along?"

          "No stay here just in case she shows back up here."

          "You got it." Trivette said as Walker grabbed his hat and headed out the door.

          Arriving at the ranch he saw her car, but also noticed that the driver door was ajar.  As he walked up the stairs he saw the front door open slightly and there was Davis walking towards him.  His was a face Walker had come to know for several weeks now.

          Standing to the side of the door Walker waited until Davis passed him.  It was then Davis was grabbed and thrown to the floor and cuffed.

          "What are you doing here?" Walker asked turning the guy over.

          "Having a little fun with your wife."  One punch and Davis was out. Leaving him there Walker went inside searching for Alex.

          "Alex," Hearing a soft cry he entered the bedroom.  He found her lying on the bed.  As he neared her she cowered away, at first, afraid.

          "Alex, it's alright…I'm here."  She allowed him to finally take her in his arms.  "I'm going to make a quick phone call…" she clung to him for a few more seconds, fearing what would happen if he left her.

          "I'm sorry…" was all Alex could say as he got up to call.

          Walker called the paramedics and Trivette.  A couple units were in route to pick up Davis but also to gather evidence. Walker stayed close to Alex, holding her and reassuring her that everything was going to be alright.

          "Ranger Walker, we're ready to transport your wife."

          "You go on ahead, we'll get this finished up here."  Trivette said as Walker nodded.  Jimmy again saw the extreme look of contempt on Walker's face.  Someone had once again hurt Alex.

          Several hours later Walker, Trivette and C.D. were all waiting in the emergency waiting room.  Walker was pacing like a caged animal.  Waiting…it was all they could do.

          "Cordell, you're making me nervous.  Sit down."  Walker glared over at him.

          "Son, we're all worried…" just then the doctor walked up.

          "Ranger Walker, could you please come with me."

          "Doc, what ever you have to say, you say it here," C.D. said standing up.  The doctor nodded and motioned for them to step into the next room.  Upon entering the doctor motioned for them to sit, only Walker remained standing.

          "How is she doctor?"  Walker asked the moment the doctor sat down.  Walker couldn't understand why it was taking so long for him to see her. 

          "Your wife suffered major trauma from the assault.  She has been stabilized and is being placed in a private room." 

          "Can I see her?"

          "In a moment.  There is another matter that I need to discuss with you first."  The doctor sat there for several moments searching for the right words.  Walker stared at him trying to read his face to see what was going on.  Finally the doctor continued.  "Like I said your wife is fine, unfortunately…there is no easy way to say this…I'm sorry Ranger Walker your wife suffered a miscarriage due to the stresses her body was put through."  Walker stood there a moment as Trivette and C.D. turned to face him.

          They noted the puzzled look on Walker's face, once again the doctor spoke. "I was under the impression your wife had told you.  When I examined her two days ago…" the doctor stopped as he watched Walker's eyes fill. 

          Finally Walker knew what she had been trying to tell him.  They had just been so busy lately…now…"Can I see her?"

          "Sure," Walker left C.D. and Trivette staring at each other in wonder and confusion.  They could tell by the look on Walker's face he had been just as shocked a they were.

          A lamp next to Alex's bed was the only light in the room.  Gently opening the door Walker came inside, standing just in front of the door.  Alex was lying on her side with her back to him.  He stood there for a moment composing himself.

          "I'm sorry."  Came a quiet plea from the bed.  Rolling to her back she looked at him with a tear stricken face.  "Walker…I’m sorry." 

          Rushing to her side he gathered her in his arms as he sat on the bed.  For several moments he let her cry. Finally the sobbing began to ebb and she laid back in the pillows. "Please forgive me." 

          "Alex…there's nothing to forgive.  You tried to tell me, but we both were busy.  I'm just glad you're alive."  He gently swept her hair from her eyes.

          'I want to go home."  Looking into her eyes he nodded his approval.  As he kissed her forehead he got up to find a doctor.  It didn’t take long to find Doctor Holland, who, after some persuasion, agreed to discharge Alex.

          While walking back to her room C.D. and Trivette found him.  "Hey pard, how is she?"  Trivette asked.

          "Not great…I'm taking her home.  Do you think you can handle things for awhile?"

          Trivette stood there a moment knowing things weren't good if Walker was taking time off without being coerced.  "Yeah, sure.  Take all the time you need.  Let me know if there is anything I can do."

          "Same goes here."  C.D. chimed in.  "We'll come out to see you tomorrow."

          Walker again nodded and headed back to Alex.  Once they discharged her and they headed home it was nearly eleven p.m.  Alex didn't say a word as they drove back to the ranch.

          The closer to home they got the more apprehensive Alex grew.  She felt the best thing she could do was to get back to the house.  Richard Davis, the name the police had finally put to the voice, had done this to her.  She couldn’t run from him, he wasn't going to force her out of her home.

          Walker parked the truck in the front.  Stepping out he noted Alex was just sitting there.  Going around to her door he opened it and took her hand.  "You don’t have to do this.  We could got into town and stay somewhere."

          Deep inside Alex could feel her self-smiling even though her outward appearance didn't show it.  She knew he would never force her to stay there.  From the look on his face she could tell if she wanted him to he would sell everything.  But there was no way she could do that, he loved this ranch, it had been his so long.  What had happened there only hours before wasn't going to stop them from living there.

          They held so many memories of time shared together.  It was here that Walker first told her how much she meant to him, even though he later denied it.  A few years later it was here that Walker had saved her from the hands of LaRue. But most important this ranch held memories of Uncle Ray and Lucas.  Alex could never allow her fears to take away this ranch. 

          Taking his hand she stepped out of the truck.  With his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders they walked up the stairs and into the door to the main entrance.  Walker felt her body begin to tense as they neared the bedroom door.

          Instead of passing it Walker guided her into the living room where he sat her on the couch and covered her legs with a blanket.  "Can I get you anything?"

          "Hold me?"  Obliging Walker sat next to her as she laid her head on his chest.  His arms encompassed her.  For several minutes they sat there in silence, as Alex allowed her self to relax, finally.

          "Walker, I…I wanted to tell you about the baby.  We were just both so busy…and now…" She broke off quickly.  It was her fault, if only she had told him about Davis when he first started stalking her.  None of this would have happened, they wouldn't have lost their baby.

          "I know.  Everything will be fine.  You just need to heal, we need to heal."

          She looked up at him with a look of wonder.  "Yes I took time off.  There's something more important that needs help…you.  Anyway Trivette can handle things for awhile.

          Alex laid back in his arms.  She was so glad he was in her life.  Knowing he would always be with her, together, somehow, they would get through this. 

          A few minutes later Walker could feel Alex's breathing had slowed.  Gently picking her up he carried her up to their room.  Lying her in bed he turned on the lamp next to her.  As he walked out he left the door slightly open.  There was something he had to do.

          At the bottom of the stairs he turned left and stood outside a door that now held even greater pain filled memories.  This had been Lucas' room, now he had lost two children.  Opening the door he stepped inside.  Everything was neat and tidy.  Trivette had done a good job.  The sight of the room used to only fill him with hurt, now it also caused him great pain and deeper pain.

          Caught in a world of his own it took him several seconds to realize Alex was calling to him.  Bounding up the stairs two at time he rushed to her.  Entering the room he ran to her side as she flung her arms around his neck.  Once again he let her cry until her body relaxed and she laid against the pillow.

          "It's going to be alright."  Alex nodded her head as he lifted her chin up to look at him.

          "Where did you go?'

          "Downstairs…" Alex looked at him and knew where he had gone.

          Sitting next to her on the bed she once again laid in his arms.  She was trying to be strong, he could tell. "Alex, do you want to talk about it?'

          For several seconds neither said a word, and Walker glanced down thinking she might have fallen back asleep.  "What can I say?  I should have just told you….I just wanted things to be so perfect.  But now…"Alex broke off wishing she could turn back time, back to earlier that week…back to before Davis. Somehow she was going to have to tell him everything.

          "I must say I was surprised when the doctor told me about the baby."  Walker laid a hand on her abdomen.

          "Walker…" she stopped as he looked down at her.  He noted how apprehensive she looked.  "There's something I need to share with you."  Sliding out of his arms she walked to the window.  Outside the bright, full moon hung in the contrasting jet-black sky.

          "Alex…what?"

          "This whole thing is my fault."

          "Alex, we've been through this."

          "No.  Davis has been stalking me for awhile now.  I didn't want to tell you…you and Jimmy were so busy with Gurule…I didn't think…" Within seconds Walker had his arms around her again.

          "Alex, honey, I know…if anyone is to blame for today then it should be me."

          "What?"  She asked pulling away for a second.

          "I knew about Davis.  Jessica told me the first day.

          "You knew?"

          "Yeah.  You really thought you could keep something like that from me? The only problem was Davis moved faster than we thought.  I feel like it's my fault…we failed…I failed you.  You were supposed to be watched.  Apparently the officer tailing you was knocked out in the parking garage.

          Finally Walker guided her to the bed where they once again laid in each other's arms.  On and off they both slept.  It wasn't until late morning when they both finally awoke for the day.

          "Are you hungry?"  Walker asked tracing her arm as she laid with her head on his chest.

          "No, but thank you."

          "Honey, you have to keep your strength up.  The last time you ate was yesterday afternoon."

          "Ok.  But I'm only agreeing because I know if I don't you will find someway to make me…"

          "Do you want me to bring it up here?"

          "No.  If you are going to make me eat I'm going to get out of bed."  Before he got out of bed he bent over and gently kissed her forehead. Turning her head upward she brushed her lips across his. 

          "Thank you."

          "For what."

          "Loving me."

          Several minutes later Walker was getting breakfast going when he heard Alex walking down the stairs.  He waited for her to enter the kitchen, when she didn't he went to her.  He found her standing on the bottom stairs, staring at the door.  He stood there for letting her face the demons.  He could only be a hand to hold, the demons had to be conquered on her own.

          Without looking back Alex walked forward, out the front door.  Walker let her go, they both were mourning and he knew their love was strong enough to make it through.  He knew when she was again ready to talk she would come to him.

          As he finished clearing the table he heard the front door open. "Walker," Trivette said as he came down the hallway.

          Walker walked out to join him.  Together, with C.D. they walked into the living room. 

          "How's Alex doing?"  Trivette asked as they sat.

          "As good as you can expect. She went outside a few minutes ago…"

          "You're telling me that you guys stayed here last night?"  C.D. asked aghast.

          "It was her idea.  I suggested that we stay in town.  We could have stayed at the H.O.P.E Center, but she insisted that we come out here."

          "She's one tough lady."

          "Sometimes I wonder if she isn't like that just to please me."
          "What do you mean by that."  Trivette asked.

          "She knows how much this ranch means to me…"

          "Cordell, this ranch is just as much her as it is you."

          "I'm going to find her."

          The two men nodded as Walker headed for the door.  "You know Big Dog this could really be a test for them."

          C.D. nodded his head as he stood and walked to the window.  Looking out he saw Walker heading towards the barn. "They'll be alright…"

         
          Walker had looked around the main yard for Alex.  When he didn’t find her there he glanced to the corral and saw that Angel was gone.  Within minutes Amigo was saddled and Walker was out in search of her.  He didn't have to watch for tracks, he knew she was heading for the lake.  She had told him many times how peaceful and relaxing the lake made her feel.  He knew where her favorite spot was.

          It had been a couple of months earlier.  A young woman had come into the center looking for a place to stay.  Her boyfriend was after her.  Alex had promised her a place to stay, somewhere safe.  One evening the woman had left, just to go to the corner for a fresh breath of air.  The call came, at the ranch an hour later, she had been gunned down.

          Alex had left and gone out riding.  Now he smiled at how much she was turning into him.  She wasn't running from her problems, she was running to a place where should could be alone and think.

          Rounding a bend in the trail he caught sight of Angel down by the water's edge.  He rode a few feet more and dismounted.  He slowly walked forward as he caught sight of her.  She was sitting on the bank next to the lake.  Her hair blew slightly in the gentle breeze.

          As he came behind her she spoke without turning around. "I was wondering how long it would take you before you came out after me."

          Walker sat down next to her as Alex put her head on his shoulder. "Alex, do you want to leave here?"

          "What are you talking about?"

          "Alex, I don't want to lose you because of what happened yesterday."

          "Walker…I can't believe you are even offering that!"  Alex really couldn't believe her ears. "This ranch is everything to you."

          "No, you are everything to me.  If you…"

          "Walker, no.  It's going to take us a long time to get through this, but this ranch…no you aren't going to give it up."

          "Are you sure?"

          "Yes."  They sat there a few more minutes until Alex spoke again.  "Walker are you okay?"

           Walker had been so concerned with talking care of her he hadn't stopped to think him self.  The thought of having children had always excited him, especially with Alex.  For him it was hard to have any emotions at that time.  How are you supposed to feel when you find out that your wife was pregnant on the same day that baby dies?  What pain and hurt he had would be healed through Alex.

          "As long as you are alright, I'm fine."

          "Walker, I'm not alright…but I will be."  Wrapping her arms around his waist they hugged each other tight.

          "Alex, we will have children."
          "I know…I know…"

          The time ahead was rough for the both of them. But by leaning on each other they pulled through.  For almost a year Alex walked past the bedroom door, which had remained closed.  One Saturday she came down the stairs, and as she had done many times before, she stopped outside.  Looking down she placed a hand on her protruding middle.

          Just another month and the wonderful day would arrive.  The doctors had told them they could try to have children when they felt ready. So Walker had taken Alex to see White Eagle.  The trip had been extremely rewarding, just like it had been with Lucas.  There was just one thing left for Alex to conquer.

          Her trembling hand reached up and she turned the knob, opening the door slowly.  Pushing the door open she stepped just inside the threshold.  The room had a slight closed in smell, the door hadn't been opened since Walker had gone in on that day so many months ago.

          Closing her eyes briefly Alex stepped through.  Her mind was filled with flashbacks that hadn't haunted her since they had seen White Eagle.  But she knew she had to face them.

          An hour or so later Walker came home.  As he took off his hat he walked into the living room.  Not finding Alex there he turned to head upstairs, knowing how tired she had been lately.  As he turned he saw the bedroom door open.   

          He walked over and smiled at the sight.  Alex was asleep on the bed.  For several minutes he stood there watching her sleep.  She really was an angel.

          Walking to her he sat on the bed next to her, stroking her forehead.  He smiled as she opened her eyes. "Hey there cowboy."

          "Hello yourself."  How are you feeling?"

          "I'm doing alright."  Taking his hand she smiled again.  "I guess I've conquered the demons huh?"

          "I would say so."

          "I can't believe it was almost a year ago."

          Walker nodded as he cupped her face in his right hand.  "You are so beautiful."
          "You never cease to amaze me Walker."  He pulled her forward and kissed her.

          "You know you'd think they would tell us something," C.D. said pacing the maternity ward waiting room floor.

          "Easy Big Dog, these things take time. " Walker had called them over an hour earlier. So far no one had come out to tell them anything.

          "I just don't know how much more of this I can take," Just then Walker came in beaming.

          "Hey there pard!"  Jimmy said jumping out of his chair.

          "Well Cordell, don't keep us in suspense…"
          "Why don't you guys come in yourselves…" Walker motioned, his eyes beaming with the joy of fatherhood.

          The three of them walked into the room where Alex was settled.  Her face, just as her husbands, was radiant.  There in her arms was the newest member of their family.  Walker went and sat on the bed next to her looking down at the life they had created.

          C.D. and Trivette stood together on the other side of the bed.  They both were silent as they smiled down at the tine infant wrapped in the soft pink blanket.

          "She's beautiful," Jimmy said grinning with excitement.  "So what did you name her?"

          "Let's just say that was difficult, we had several boy names picked out, but she surprised us."  Walker said taking Alex's hand.

          "But once I held her in my arms it was easy.  Her name is Faith Elizabeth.  It just sort of seemed right after everything we went through in the past year."  Alex responded looking up at Walker.  Their lives were finally mended and the faith they had in one another had helped them heal.  It was time to begin to move forward with a bright future ahead.

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